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This is a guy I was talking to from okcupid. He is totally new to online dating and it shows.

Sorcha 7 Jan 26
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bobwjr Level 9 Feb 16, 2021

I think that's the problem with online dating. There's too many choices,Too many options, too many questions, too many plan B's and C's and D'!

Kojaksmom Level 8 Feb 16, 2021

That somebody is probably his wife.

Soarfeet Level 7 Jan 28, 2021

It seems dating and texting is a game I'll never understand 🤷♂️

Yeah, for some it's a trip down the rabbit hole. Entire relationships are formed at the tip of your fingers.


I sort of had the same feeling when I was (once) on some sites. When I saw a woman who said her family came first I knew I would always be in 2nd, or 3rd, or 4th place. Also, I may have had a choice in selecting one specific person but had no choice in getting all the relatives. One reason I quite these sites.

JackPedigo Level 9 Jan 26, 2021

I think getting rejected, ghosted, etc as he stays on dating apps will be an education for him.

Sorcha Level 7 Jan 26, 2021

I doubt it, people like this tend to remain clueless.


short and sweet. good for you.

TheDoubter Level 9 Jan 26, 2021


UUNJ Level 8 Jan 26, 2021

"ok thank you for letting me know. I don't mind being your back-up, but just so you know, you will always be my back-up".


But for dating in general, this happens all the time. I turned out to be my grad school fiancee's backup plan, twice. And looking back, she pretty much told me so in so many words. More fool I.

Paul4747 Level 8 Jan 26, 2021

I should have reponded with "LOL no."

Sorcha Level 7 Jan 26, 2021

I like your response. It might provide a bit of education . . . . or not.

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