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I'm reading the book Fuck Love, One shrink's sensible advice for finding a lasting relationship by Michael I Bennett that I borrowed from the public library. I stumbled across it after looking into the 5 love languages that has been referenced on agnostic. I found references to Christianity and God and immediately lost interest.

As I find interesting statements (IMHO, you may disagree), I will post them here.

  1. If you're looking for a long-term partner, avoiding romance with someone you're not sexually attracted to isn't superficial, it's smart.
JGal 7 Mar 3
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It's also a form of Honesty - to them.

  1. Don't let the satisfaction of feeling understood or the thrills of intimate gossip mislead you into neglecting your usual procedures for judging character, assessing behavior, and looking for a good match with someone whose talk is worthwhile.
JGal Level 7 Mar 4, 2019

Not really getting that one. ?

@hippydog don't be fooled by good banter. Just a guess.

@JGal ahh..that kinda makes sense..
I think the part that confused me is i love good banter.. its a primary need for me.

I guess i just assume with good banter that automatically includes learning about the persons behavior, character etc.

@hippydog Good banter is part of the total package for me too.


Ok ?

bobwjr Level 10 Mar 4, 2019

OK, love the title...

SonofMax Level 7 Mar 3, 2019

I would say this is true. My last boyfriend I met on POF, when we met for our first date he did not look like his pictures. the pictures where 10 years old and he was 50 lbs thiner in them. I decided to give him a chance and get to know the person even though I was not attracted to his body. He is a wonderful kind man and at first the sex was good but as the newness wore off, not being attracted to his body did become an issue for me. Maybe if when you meet like when you both all young and you are attracted sexually than as you grow old together and our bodies change that love sees past all that but when starting out I think it needs to be there.

You've got to check this body--


Humans are animals. love is mostly about breeding. If you base your entire relationship on sexual attraction, good luck because you can't fuck forever. Eventually you're going to have to get out of the bed and look each other in the face.

Kojaksmom Level 8 Mar 3, 2019

And doggystyle gets boring ?

@hippydog sex gets boring for me if that's the only thing anybody has to offer.

and the word "relationship" has to mean more than sex... if it is going to have any wings...



hippydog Level 8 Mar 3, 2019

Love is beautiful, go for it.

JasonBill Level 2 Mar 3, 2019
  1. Unfortunately, sexual attraction is delicate and unpredictable, regardless of what lady-magazine writers and even animal biologists tell you, mostly because they only cover courtship rituals. Keeping up interest after flirtation ends and the bright plumage fades is much more complicated, unpredictable, and uncontrollable.
JGal Level 7 Mar 3, 2019

Thats true!

@Skeezwazzle I really enjoyed that!

@Skeezwazzle great advice: Good - Give - Game (what are you into?). Thanks for sharing!

@Skeezwazzle Love Dan Savage!


Same if there’s nothing more than a sexual attraction?

Haemish1 Level 8 Mar 3, 2019

it keep a relationship over time


So true

Electro68 Level 7 Mar 3, 2019

I don't agree because life is short. You have to leave that primitive shit and smell the flowers. Sex is one of the best pleasures created by nature. Man put stupid rules around it. Do with anyone you like and if he likes it. I would.

St-Sinner Level 9 Mar 3, 2019

@Kojaksmom I don't think we have members here who have that worry.

@Tiramisu I deleted my comment it's pointless



texwood Level 5 Mar 3, 2019
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