My feeling is there are no rules about relationships, only what works. When it comes to relationships, I've had problems with interdependence and boundaries and saw that I had some personal issues to sort out before deciding to date again. I'm also at a place where I know I deserve and can have a full and meaningful life whether I'm in a relationship or not -- I never could say that before. I would love to find someone, but there's no pressure... I'm learning it's really about where I am internally and what I want, and though there's no such thing as the perfect relationship, I can be better discerning about people and manage challenges better.

Living in the moment is the only way to live and by doing so one may come along and things develop naturally, moment by moment and in the mean time you are enjoying your life.

I have what I call the Tumble Weed Philosophy, if she rolls across my path, then maybe we may take a stab at something . Things are so crazy that in a few minutes of dealing with some women I have sorted out Exactly how things will shake out over any period of time .

Define sustainable?

Some people seem to be able to analyze and make very good relationship decisions early in life. I am not one of those I had a bad marriage and a wonderful marriage and decided relationships happen and if you're lucky you get a good one that is a good fit.

After losing my husband, I had a couple of less than perfect relationships. Hopefully I learned to make better decisions because of them. In other words I hope you don't give but instead try to learn from your mistakes. Giving up on anything is sad.

I am like you. Don't worry.

I have heard ,when you are not looking and being your real self to your self is when a person will show up in your life out of the blue with no pressure like you have already been life long friends that you will be very comfortable with ,just let it flow naturally and if it is too happen it will ,just my 3 cents

I have reached that point. After three marriages, and several failed major relationships(most were toxic in some way...not blaming it all on them; I was there too and take my share of responsibility), I give.
It’s working for me to keep it loose and unlabeled, therefore uncomplicated. I tend to attract toxic people, though I’m much better with red flags now. After all these years, lol. I need a great deal of time alone, plus my health is not so good: both not conducive to long term or live in relationships.
Took me so many years of trying to learn: I’m better being mostly alone.

Been there done that. I have found if I quit trying so hard, live in the moment and just be open to what is happening right now and accepting of whatever it is, unexpected and very pleasant events can occur which sometimes lead to more unexpected events. Sometimes it is our expectations that limit us. Let go of those.

Being alone is better than being in a relationship that isn't working for you. Enjoy the moments that come to you. Be yourself and always strive to be better than you were the day before. Sooner or later someone will notice you and make you happy.

Just see what happens

Being uncoupled is a valid choice. Bad experiences - maybe that is way of realizing that you can be content w/o an intimate relationship. There is too much emphasis on finding a mate. As long as you have a circle of trusted friends and some activities you like, I think you do fine.