It is an established fact that my wife does not crave physical intimacy like I do. Am I doing something wrong? Or can I do something different/better?
So, take her out of the house. A weekend in a nice hotel in her favorite nearby (or not) city, country, whatever, might help to get those "pesky" ears out of her consciousness, so she can relax and enjoy herself. And, of course, you might even do some wining and dining and stuff that constitute her style of foreplay. Showing of affection hardly ever hurts relationships. And, if it could help, let her have her way with you!
I divorced a narcissist who used "sexual anorexia" as a manipulation tool over our 20 years together. Yes, there are far less extreme reasons for intimacy disparities none of which can you fix for someone who doesn't see it as broken or worth fixing. You didn't create it and you can only change yourself. Divorce (and the knowledge about All Things Narcissism) came along and saved me. Sexual compatibility is something I will not compromise on moving forward. I wish I had an easier or more positive response to give.
Lol. I am reminded of a butcher whom I met about 30 years and knew for a couple of weeks. He told me that he was a gambler and after a successful Saturday afternoon would go home to family dinner dutifully cooked by his wife. When food had been served and eating commenced he would casually draw a waste of money $500-$1000 out of his pocket and lay it in front of her plate saying "Here love, go and spend this on yourself and how about earning it by giving me a good time tonight".
He couldn't understand why she was divorcing him!
Sexual intimacy, well all of sex in my case, is in the mind. Protect her standing with everyone. She must feel totally safe in every way with you and appreciated.
Here's another part I really blew, she must feel secure and that she has some key element of control over you, that you are in some way dependent on her. If you don't need her why should she be there. I wish I'd solved that one.
Her subconscious knows that she pays for your support and protection with sex, fortunately her conscious doesn't know that.
Oh and something nobody ever told me until 2014, you are responsible for her happiness.
Those are just the easy ones (joke).
I think those are most of the places I went wrong, there could be more
It's possible there is something you can do and possible there isn't. There is much evidence that the human race is not all that monogamous. Once new relationship energy (NRE) wears off it can be very difficult to cultivate passion for the same mate. Or you may be fucking things up! lol
Has she always been this way? Is there religious indoctrination in either of your past? Have you talked to her about it? Maybe a good therapist? Maybe a book or two?