It's ok to get back out there. It's just easier said than done. I'm going on 3 years and just now am thinking about dating. All on your own time

An illness/disease is a thief that steals time, energy, hopes, plans, and dreams. My husband was prone to blood clots and underwent numerous surgeries, test, and procedures. That thief kept coming back and taking more and I was helpless to stop it. When he died I felt lost and I went numb, couldn't even feel the joy of the birth of my first grandchild. The numbness eventually faded and the desire for companionship began to grow and the guilt, oh the guilt slammed me.

Everyone grieves in their own way and time. My mom was my rock, this was her advice.

What is cheating? It's taking away from one to give it to another. It took me a long time to figure it out but I did and that's when I started dating again.

I can relate to the "feeling guilty". I lost my beautiful husband to cancer 4 years ago and only in the last year decided to start dating. I can't seem to shake that feeling of guilt though.

It is hard to move on to have a relationship again I’m sure, but there should be no guilt if you do. You must do what makes you feel happy, if being in a new relationship is what will make happy again you must go on dates and you may find someone.. If however you are happy on your own and don’t feel you need another partner that is okay too. Don’t feel you can’t be happy with another because of feelings of disloyalty to your late wife/partner......you can’t be cheating on someone who is no longer alive and I am sure she would give her blessing if she knew it would make you happy again. I myself had a long and happy marriage and am happy and contented on my own, but I know there are others who need to have someone to share their lives with, it depends a lot on your own personality.

Wouldn't your wife want to be happy again?

Grieving is a very miserable experience and I think it never ends. But we do get stronger as time passes. I think it's best if we turn the page on that miserable chapter and start writing a new chapter of our life.

You cared for her but it is now time for you to take care of you.

Change is always difficult but our suffering comes to an end when we can accept and adapt to the changes.

You never get over someone you've lost that was dear to you. You have been given a chance at a new life tho. It's just hard to know how to go about it sometimes because we are so used to the routines.

I didn't do the cheating guilt but I felt extremely guilty for the freedom of a single life. I can go anywhere, do anything and do not have to consider her anymore. Some guys I know said that I'd get over it and I have but it's been over two and a half years. I sometimes still have a twinge of the guilt of freedom and sure do miss still not having her with me. My feeling is that you never get over a 36 year marriage but you can move past it and get on with your life.