Agnostic.com
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Hi. I admit, I am not a widow. I joined your group because I have a question about my own grief.
My father died a few days ago. The rest of my family are all Christian and believe my father is in a better place. I politely kept my mouth shut. my belief that he didn’t go anywhere makes my loss more final. How do you handle this? I guess it bothers me that I don’t believe. It is so much easier to follow the crowd that believes in a God...but my disbelief runs deep.

EyesThatSmile 8 Nov 3
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4

His body has gone, however he's still in your heart and mind

3

Yes, it's hard not believing in a comforting fantasy about a new life after death. But I find some comfort knowing I'm living with a clearer view of reality and not in disillusionment.

3

I take comfort in the fact that my wife is no longer subject to the whims of the world. I don't believe in God or eternal after life. But i believe her energy to be transferred back into the universe.

Fuzzy Level 4 Nov 3, 2018
6

This may not be a popular opinion, theory if you will. I don't believe our consciousness "dies". Just because I don't believe or worship a "boss" spirit doesnt negate the possibility of another plane of existence. We tend to think of the earth as a boundary. Human arrogance. Its a big, big universe out there. A LOT of universe. Bigly! (I have the best words!) I have personally seen evidence of another "spirit" as have some family & friends. Im so sorry you lost your Papa. I feel that now he has shed the constraints of his physical body, a spark of him will always be around you. You will feel a warm hug or you will get a sign that just couldnt possibly be, but you know it is. I know my husband is always with me. He`s also watching football with his friends & hanging out listening to his favorite musicians that have already passed. He is free to be. I know this.

Della Level 6 Nov 3, 2018
3

The whole taboo put on death in our society makes it so much harder.

My mom had a proper funeral, I remember my Dad privately scoffing at parts of it. It's what you do. Even if you don't share a belief, you be polite. It's not like your there to teach them all your way.

The things well meaning good Christian folks say when a loved one passes away is ...well Beyond belief (LOL)

I'm sorry you have to feel this loss and pain. I do hope you find comfort. My Dad was my comfort when Mom died. He would point out that as awful as it feels, it is the natural order of things. A child buries it's parent. That's the way it should be.

RoseyRose Level 6 Nov 3, 2018
4

You have to just think on how much you loved him and the impact his life had on you and the rest of his family. His life whilst he was here, and the fact that without him, you would never have ever existed, is where your focus can be. That to me is a more logical thing than visiting a grave for nonbelievers, or for that matter believers too. There will be a lifetime of memories from your earliest recollections, these will be with you forever , and along with photographs can keep him alive in your heart. I remember losing my own father when I was in my early thirties, forty years on I still cherish my fond memories of him. My father was a freethinker and didn’t believe in god, just as I am, and I never ever felt I was disadvantaged by not having a belief in god when it came to dealing with my grief. I felt exactly the same way when my husband died....although I obviously had a very different relationship with him, but the grief and feeling of loss is the same. I was asked a few years ago by a religious friend how I managed to cope with my husband’s loss without feeling the need to pray to god for comfort. I was quite surprised to be asked this and I just told her that I had plenty of inner strength and that along with caring friends and family I felt no need to invoke imaginary deities. My advice to you is to allow friends and family to share the grief, even if they need to pray, that’s fine if it’s what they need to do, but everyone has to deal with it in their own way and you in no way should feel that you are grieving any less because you believe your father is not going on to an afterlife. His legacy is you.

Very helpful. Thank you!

2

Morgan Freeman was on Jimmy Kimmel last week. He was talking about the documentaries he's doing on different religions of the world. He said 99.9 percent of the religions were because people don't want to die. He was asked about his idea of death. He said "You're here, you're not (here)" Simple explanation.

Susieq Level 7 Nov 3, 2018
2

Sometimes it helps to look at the overall picture of humanism. Death is a part of life. Did he have a good life? Good children? Do you have good memories with him? These are all the things for which you can be grateful. This is what we are. Still I am sorry for your loss.

SukiSue Level 8 Nov 3, 2018
1

Be true to yourself.

ugly Level 7 Nov 3, 2018
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