I wouldn't date someone who didn't have grown kids or who hadn't been married before either.
Otherwise, they usually haven't a clue what relationships and children involve, often seeming to think life is one big party.

Many women are under the mistaken impression that older men who have never been married are bisexuals who engage in homosexual sex.

It's a red flag for me. When I see never been married and has no kids in a dating profile it usually suggests they can't commit and do not understand the commitment it takes to raise children. I've tried to date men who have not been married and who have no kids. The one who hasn't had kids often seems to feel that I spend too much time with children and give them to much attention. Ummmm... They're kids... They need their parents time and attention.

It really depends. My last boyfriend was never married and had no children. I found out fairly quickly why. He was a malignant narcissist with delusions of Godhood. He also believed the only right way was his way; everyone else was wrong. When I cooked, if it wasn't done the way his mother made it, he would complain and get the recipe. The last straw was when I realized that he never told me the truth in anything. His explanation....... I knew it would hurt you.

I'm not saying you are the same way as I don't know you, however other women may have been burned one to many times and are hesitant on having a relation with an older man that has never been married.

Ugh I hate dating sites. For some women breeding is their entire identy. I suspect she's one of them. Move on, and be glad she didn't want to meet you.

In a way I agree with her. At my age range a woman who has not been in a committed relationship, to me, is looking for security. She lacks the partnership skills necessary to maintain a loving relationship. My aunt married for the first time late in life. She spent the next 30 years picking fights with my uncle and asserting her independence. No thank you.

When I see “never married” on a profile, I wonder what the person is looking for. Have they had successful long term relationships? Do they want a casual relationship? If they want marriage, what changed so that it’s appealing now, or what prevented it before? A bit more information upfront would prevent people from assuming the person was just a player or had some serious issues.

When you said "her kids are grown up, out of the house." I thought I know exactly where she is coming from. You don't get to stop being a parent just because the kids have left home, doesn't work that way, at least not for women, they are still your kids and top of the priority list. If you don't get that then yes the cultural difference is huge.
Not married, wouldn't care less about, but never in a long term relationship would be a red flag for me, it says something about your priorities. Even if it turns into a train wreck a long term relationship has either taught you something about habitually considering the other person in your life and not finding that a burden, or it hasn't and that is why it was a train wreck.

People who have had children don't always understand partnership. The Bible says cling to your wife. Not your mom you kids your dad. It's good advice.

The older you get without being partnered at some point, the bigger the red flags....

Most people get married and have kids so one mtght wonder what it is about you that kept you from doing that. The fact that I've been married and divorced 4 times sometimes causes people to wonder why my marriages all failed. While it is true that I wasn't willing to stay in unhealthy marriages, finding the right partner can be largely a matter of chance.

She sounds like a complete, right wing, brainless imbecile. She comes from the place where parents wear their children like medals awarded by society.

I have been on the other side of the coin in 2 ways.
Women with no ex and no kids would see my kids as an infringement, they are in their 30s, but still a big part of my life.
I have also had women who expect me to break ties with my kids as they do not understand my world.
I have dated women whose kids are nightmares and where I have had all sorts of battles with ex husbands from physical threats to court rooms. ahhh life, ignore it, hate it, you can't like it.

Not at all to me at least

I suspect she fears you won't understand her attachment to her children unless you've "been there".

Or she assumes you're a playboy and will hurt her.

We all have our red flags I suppose. Mine is socio-economic level. I hesitate to date anyone that is significantly higher up than me.

Makes life a bit difficult since I'm more educated than most from a similar background as I but earn less than those whose education I match.

You dodged a bullet. Be grateful. Breeder entitlement is a prevalent theme in our society. People think that they are someone better, smarter, more responsible, etc. just because they had a few sex trophies. Yet, they roll their eyes when you point out that you can't go a day without hearing about someone murdering, abusing, abandoning, their children...or even stories of all the "dead-beat" parents. If the mere biological act of reproduction made people "better" in any regard, the news wouldn't be full of dead/abused/neglected kids.

Yet, breeders still expect everyone to think they are oh sooooooooooooo amazing.

You are a catch for any woman who valued education and career over just adding to the over-population of the Earth. Like I said, you dodged a bullet.

Not mine, but I'm not like other women.
I'm also not looking for anyone.

It's B.S. You have to ignore it, mainly because you can't change it but more importantly because, if you've been dating forever you know that some women have all different kinds of rules: 1) You have to be divorced for a certain period of time before you're ready to date (how they can tell a total stranger when they are ready to date is beyond me) 2) If you don't have kids and never raised them you are not qualified to talk to or have any relationship with children (I'd love to know where this "science" comes from, just like anything else you've never done in your life, you can't possibly do it) 3) If you've never been married you must have commitment issues (impossible that you haven't met "the one" yet) 4) The ones who have read Men Are From Mars... or have gone to relationships classes and are following the script they learned (they dont' know how to have a relationship so they take this class, read the book etc and all of a sudden, "poof" they are experts, sadly if it's not spontaneous etc it doesn't work). You just have to be prepared to explain why it is youve never been married because it's normal for "her" to wonder what the catch is. As you would if you met a woman in a similar situation. Good luck. When my dating book comes out, I'll include your dilemma.

I think you are smart not to have kids. So what if you haven't married, I wish I never had the 1 time I did. I don't count it. ?

When someone takes issue with any aspect of who you are as a reason not to move forward don’t fight it, they just shot a torpedo across your bow, wish them luck and say next.

In other words, she wants what is past and gone, does not accept the changes that have occurred, and does not want to be intellectually challenged. Sounds like you dodged a bullet. Count your lucky stars!

One person's comment does not speak for the entire heterosexual female demographic.

It wouldn't necessarily be a red flag for me. It could be a major bonus. No worrying about blending families, for starters. I would be curious, though, just as I would be curious about the divorce(s) and kid(s) of anyone I might date. Getting to know each other is always a good start. Sounds like she wasn't willing to do that, so I'm guessing you dodged a bullet, as others have said.

It speaks to her own limitations, and how narrow her world view is, rather than the mindset of women in general. I expect she would be shocked to hear that I don't have children, and never wanted any. Probably a very good thing she said this up front, rather than continuing before finding out. This is her problem, not yours.

The no kids issue is not to me.

Depending on age, the never married part might be a light red flag as I would assume it meant the person had a fear of commitment.

I might find out I'm wrong -- maybe they had a 26-year live-in, like-married relationship or something--but that's what I would initially think.