What’s the best way to flirt?
1
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26 comments
Feel free to reply to any comment by clicking the "Reply" button.To flirt with women I'd say just listen.
Chronicarus
Level 4
June 30, 2018
1
The non-verbal flirt?
@AstralSmoke no definitely not that. you need to be an active listener confirm you understand. Without dominating the dialogue.
If I knew that answer I might be able to get a date!
AmelieMatisse
Level 8
June 30, 2018
6
Pity you're so far away, I'd cheerfully take you out for a sherbet and discuss how crap we are at flirting. At least we'd both know the other isn't flirting, at least not intentionally lol
I think you need someone to flirt with.
@btroje That sounds like that might be the ticket.
@btroje how about a raspberry beret? One of my fave Prince songs
@btroje, @AstralSmoke well there you go...my problem will be solved LOL
Well we all can agree that sending dick pics arent it. XD
Frankly, I like sweet compliments and straight-forwardness in what the flirter wants.
Transprincess
Level 5
June 30, 2018
4
Maybe they just want to flirt?
With a smile. Be complimentary, use your sense of humor. Be honest and yourself. That always works for me.
CarolinaGirl60
Level 8
June 30, 2018
3
Sense of humor? It's never there when I need it the most.
Probably the opposite of whatever I do. I'm painfully bad at it.
memorylikeasieve
Level 7
June 30, 2018
3
“You are a flirt,” a man told me. As a cheerful, born flirt, my rationale is:
If you’re going to spend time having conversations with people, why not try to make it end with everyone feeling a bit bucked up and perky?
I love how British author Caitlin Moran describes flirting in her hilarious book, “How to Be A Woman”:
“It comes from an almost demented joy in being alive, talking to someone who isn’t boring you to death, and conspiring in an unspoken, momentary twinkly, “I like you and you like me. Isn’t it lovely that we’re being total lovelies together?” conspiracy.
LiterateHiker
Level 9
June 30, 2018
1
This sounds like a pretty good description. Adolescent in a way.
@AstralSmoke
After surgery, positive people heal faster and have better outcomes than negative patients. This is well documented.
Cheerful, upbeat people make friends easily. Everyone wants them as a roommate. For several years, I was a discharge coordinator at a rehab facility.
@Humanistheathen
Thank you so much!
@LiterateHiker I didn't mean adolescent in a negative way but more in a playful manner. I think one can flirt on several different levels.
And yes, I'm sure flirting releases some feel-good chemicals and if they didn't make one better they'd at least make one feel better.
@AstralSmoke
Thank you. Then I wish you had said "playful" instead of "adolescent."
Calling something "adolescent" signifies immaturity and impulsiveness.
"You are a freak," a man said during our first phone conversation last week.
"My mother was called a health nut and exercise fanatic," I replied firmly. "I'm not a freak. I have enjoyed a healthy diet and regular exercise my entire life. This is the result."
"That's not what I meant," he replied. What did he mean? He never said.
Words matter.
@LiterateHiker Yes, I agree. To me, adolescent means boundaries are not yet rigid, time of experimentation and playfulness.
I could tell you had misinterpreted what I had intended.
It happens to me in person as well.
@AstralSmoke
You're right: flirting is playful and fun. I flirt with dogs, babies, customer service reps on the phone. We end up laughing together.
Then they go out of their way to provide extraordinary service.
Choose to be kind in an unkind word.
@LiterateHiker Perfect results.
Apparently by just being your friendly self. But if you TRY to flirt then just come across as an epileptic lol
LadyAlyxandrea
Level 8
June 30, 2018
2
I don't think you're being very fair to the epileptic community. 
Be sincere.
Ellatynemouth
Level 8
June 30, 2018
2
So, by me being honest you take that as flirting?
OK. Being insincere will ruin any flirting strategy. No one likes a fake.
Everyone is different I guess.
@Ellatynemouth Honest, sincere flirting ... definitely!
No idea. Maybe I’ll get some tips here?
Hermit
Level 7
June 30, 2018
1
That's what I'm hopin'.
I'm not sure. I'm not good at it. I also don't read it when men flirt with me. I had a guy ask me for my number and I honestly thought it was just to tell me about a book club. I had another man flirt with me, and I didn't pick up on it...so he told me he was flirting with me.
Cabsmom
Level 8
July 1, 2018
3
I can totally relate. I have no idea how to flirt or if I even do!!! I have no idea when someone is flirting with me. Sometimes I think they are flirting with me when it turns out their not. I am so confused 
Oh, that can be fun when you have to tell someone you're flirting with them.
Make them laugh....everybody loves to laugh
KatieK
Level 2
July 1, 2018
3
What do you get when you drop a piano down a mineshaft?
A-flat minor.
Humor and sarcasm are my go to moves.
McWalsoft
Level 6
July 1, 2018
2
Know any good jokes?
@AstralSmoke I'm not a very good joke teller unfortunately. Most of my humor is in silly comments I make on others posts.
@McWalsoft I'll keep my eyes peeled.
Comment on something they have written here online then PM them with interest to know more about them. Don't forget to tell them something more about yourself that is not in the profile. If conversation goes well...Exchange numbers...then possibly plan to meet in a causal safe place.
*no bull shit lines, women have heard or read enough romance books to spot them
No lies...it's just another human being that seems interesting, maybe yes..Maybe no.
If the reason to flirt is to get sex only...just be up front with your intentions before meeting. Why waste your time and piss off another female or male for the next person who wants more than just sex.
Just saying! Honesty cannot be vilified unless she or he is immature.
Shazbott68
Level 5
June 30, 2018
1
Your advice sounds good overall, but is that flirting?
I suppose it's a soft opening opposed to straight out of the gates. Most females enjoy a warm up...it gives at least the appearance of a real dialogue. Flattery that is subtle is the most effective. genuine interest locks it in.
Here we go again... 'Eat food with Grog or he get angry!'
Holysocks
Level 8
June 30, 2018
1
What kind of food?
@AstralSmoke
Grog say ' How does a lovely curry sound? Nothing from southern India as it tends to cause one to swallow fire.'
@Holysocks OK, I'm game.
I probably don't even know what that is
btroje
Level 9
June 30, 2018
2
Really?
I feel like such a failure. 
A wink with the second eye contact r
Devilduck7
Level 4
July 1, 2018
1
Not sure I understand that one.
Nonverbally
Etre
Level 7
June 30, 2018
1
Only?
Etre:
@AstralSmoke
By actions not words.
Depends-here on PM, then the phone, then in person.
sassygirl3869
Level 9
June 30, 2018
1
Is that flirting or just contact?
My suspicion is that this might not be the best place to get those tips. It seems to me that the folks on this site tend to be very direct and straightforward. Flirting is more nuanced and subtle. I think it is intended to convey attraction without really saying you're attracted. I've never figured out how to do it.
ladyprof70
Level 7
Mar 21, 2019
1
Man when you figure that one out could you let me know I married my first love when I was 20 and was married for 27 years before she got tired of it I've never dated in my life I don't know how and if I try to flirt I'm afraid I'm going to come off as a stalker
Drsmash253
Level 7
July 1, 2018
1
Away from your job...yikes.
BucketlistBob
Level 8
July 1, 2018
1
Especially if you're good at it!
Most women are flattered when men read their profiles then engage them in conversations on subjects of mutual interest. Showing interest in the women themselves is the most flattering thing you can do.
By the way, if you upload a recent, clear photo of yourself, answer the profile questions and write your profile, you'll earn points, and members can get to know you.
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birdingnut
Level 8
June 30, 2018
1
Thanks, those are all good answers on finding a mate at agnostic dot com. and oh, that T-shirt!
I was looking for more on 'how to flirt'. Do you find flattery flirtatious?
@AstralSmoke Somewhat, but talking about subjects of mutual interest is the best way, in my case.
@birdingnut I've always thought of flirting to be very similar to teasing. At least that's one way to flirt. Making jokes or stories up that only two of you would understand might be flirting.
@AstralSmoke The problem with many men is that they don't know how to close the deal and continue to flirt after they catch the woman's interest. If they have enough testosterone, they'll ask for a date, or arrange to meet for coffee, asap.
Women only have so much patience and soon move on if the man is wasting their time.Of course, on this website there aren't yet enough members to make it likely to find a compatible person who lives nearby.
Say stuff that makes someone like you.
Count_Viceroy
Level 7
June 30, 2018
1
It's begging to be asked. Like what stuff?
@AstralSmoke for example, she says something, and you reply with something that makes her eyes twinkle. Along those lines. I'm just speculating, my flat affect contraindicates flirting.
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