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Every time I think I'm ready to start dating...

I look at profiles on dating sites and realize I was wrong.

I think I just need to admit that my interest level can be described as lazy. I'd like to date but I'm just not willing to put all that much energy into it. lol

Note: This is just me commenting, I am not seeking advice on how to "change".

Crimson67 8 July 21
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29 comments

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8

I'm with you. Sometimes, I start questioning whether my decision to be done with the pursuit of another relationship should be reconsidered.
Then, I look through profiles, start thinking about logistics (which are really NOT my friend), start thinking about exactly how I would navigate another emotional minefield, and I'm right back to "fuck that noise".
I'm really appreciative of the peace and quiet.

6

That's hilarious.....and maybe just a little too true for many of us. I think at some point we come to value friendship, companionship, camaraderie more than that constant and sometimes elusive desire to find that perfect love, hot sex, etc etc. Some seem to forever love the adventure of the hunt....others have no problems having sex the way they pay their taxes (quarterly). I guess that's what makes us all such interesting creatures, eh? πŸ˜‰

Vera, you pay taxes quarterly!!! πŸ™‚

@Bigwavedave I used to. Now I am trying to be a "really smart person" like our president and not pay taxes at all.

@Lavergne you must be rich!

@Bigwavedave Ha! I wish.

@Lavergne perhaps rich in sense of adventure

@Bigwavedave yes - that's it.... I'm rich beyond my wildest dreams in things that money can't buy. BTW, I've got a bridge in Brooklyn that I would love to sell you.

6

I suspect that this is the problem with dating sites.
Those who are desirable (as dating "material" ) aren't that interested for whatever reason(s) while those actively seeking a "date" aren't particularly "dateable". Now, this is a vast generalization, so no attacks, please!!!! My ego is VERY delicate!
πŸ˜‰

5

Since I stopped drinking every night online dating is very boring these days ....

Simon1 Level 7 July 21, 2018

Today's lesson: drink every night.

@Lavergne absolutely

Good for you! It may be boring, but habitual drinking doesn't look good on anybody, in my opinion.

@BlueWave I know but it did make some people look better lol

5

I think my number one rule is keep it simple..... which does everything but rule out dating and makes a relationship seem like begging for complexities

Too many unrealistic expectations....

@Lavergne even the realistic expectations seem daunting....lol.?

@Crimson67 I tried that marriage thing and I find that being single is so much more fun and so much more simple. I'm just going to stick with it as best I can, and have fun when I meet like-minded women. not that I've sworn off love. I don't know if you can do that, but the marriage thing is pretty scary actually. maybe that's a typical guy comment...idk

@hankster I our community here, I've observed about equal numbers of men and women saying never again - or something like it.

@BlueWave for me the good days were much fewer than the bad days. and the bad days were much much worse than the good days were good.

@hankster I had 27 years with my late wife,I was #3 husband,she said many times"Third times the charm".....

@Mike1947 thats great! but I'm afraid #2 might be the end of me.

@hankster Yes caution should be observed,but the downside is the loneliness,the chances missed,lot's of "What might have beens"......

@Mike1947 sure, but that is always present in some way or another. if you have ever been worse than lonely, cautious is best.

4

I know what you're saying. I take spells where I'm super interested in dating and others when I couldn't care less. I guess both are a byproduct of being single for so long.

4

Dating is tiring, it’s like how many times do I got to tell my story, I’m tired???

Yanya Level 7 July 21, 2018

Reminds me of Charlotte (Sex and the City) wailing "I've been dating since I was 15 - WHERE IS HE? hahahahahaha Hang in there honey.

4

I've never really gone the dating route, I just met people in the course of my daily life and things developed one way or another from there. I'm not going to say it's exciting or an active pursuit...

To paraphrase Murphy McManus: I'm sort of like 7-11. I'm not always doing business but I'm always open.

4

Me too. I'm not separated very long, almost three years, but in that time I think I have got very selfish and set in my ways.

4

I'm glad I'm not the only one lol

ipdg77 Level 8 July 21, 2018

You most definitely are not alone.

3

I am not a dating site person but I know the felling, you go and within minutes you look for the reset button or the escape clause. Or you reach the bed and it is just not there, not your type of lovemaking. Harder when you are not intoxicated. It is a lot of hard work, shouldn't be but... the question of.... "What and who am I suppose to be today for this person I know I will never get to know in deep terms?" Funny the last woman I felt really comfortable with was as honest as it could be, she said "lie to me tonight". Impressed me so much that I wrote the song... "Bed of lies". But do not give up hope soccer mom!

3

Ya gota put on the costume, paint the face, & adopt the vertical lambada. It is just too exhausting.
One person here is in the throws of amour. He is in it for less than 4 months. After 3 years , then we shall know.

3

One thing about dating, it's expensive. It's also a time sink. I can go casual for a while, like let's go get some drinks. But I don't want another ltr, or to hear someone critique my clothes, lifestyle, hair, friends, or food choices. So I can relate, red.

zeuser Level 8 July 21, 2018
3

No advise will be given.... Just oughta say something and take the points ???

3

I look at it as looking for someone who likes to hang out and talk. Maybe go see a movie or go listen to some music. But no "official" date. Let's just get to know the real us.

Too much baggage and expectations come with "dating".

2

Just fly to England, look me up and be prepared to get your feet back on the ground.

You can have the other bedroom and you don't even need to do any housework.

@Crimson67 Football??? Boring!!!

2

I can relate-although I’m starting to venture out of my solitary comfort shell.

Absolutely great description - solitary comfort shell.

2

I've used just about all the dating sites,some free,others membership,lot's of interest,mostly scammers,no dates though,many women are too far away Lost wife to lung cancer 10 months ago,not replacing her after 27 years,but great sadness at night,when the memories come....

so sorry for your loss....I hope you find someone who can lessen some of that sadness.

Grief comes in waves and always will. May you find a wonderful person to share life with without giving up memories of your beloved.

@UUNJ One can only hope,I've been scammed for about $1K,so super cautious about "Affairs of the Heart". On advice from several Women here,I'll wait until a full years goes by (sept) before trying once more.

1

Lol this is the same for me.

RobinF Level 4 July 22, 2018
1

The words that come up for me are "discouraged" or "disillusioned." It's such a crapshoot.

1

Since I so rarely even get a response, let alone a date, it hasn’t been an issue.

1

If it were easy I would have done it by now. πŸ˜‰

1

I can relate.

1

Seems about right for most average people πŸ™‚

weeman Level 7 July 21, 2018
1

Not a bad disposition. When/if someone inspires action on your part, chances are better that the effort will be worth it. Good luck. πŸ™‚

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