I know the subject of age difference has come up a few times here. However, I'm curious. What would be your response when a much younger person tells you he/she is interested in getting to know you or having a relationship with you? Much younger, can be 15 or more years younger or half your age, or whatever you would consider to be much younger than you.
When that happens to me, my first thoughts would be that I would be messing up his life if we were to have a relationship. He has so much more life potential and future left ahead of him than a middle aged woman like me. He should be with his own kind and have fun and enjoy being young. I don't look my age so on many occasions younger people think I'm actually their age. And I would think, "I'm old enough to be your mother!!!". I mean, I do enjoy people of all ages (as long as they are of legal age) but these thoughts are always at the back of my mind.
In general, if I were into short term, a younger man would be ok. For a serious relationship, it would be difficult to imagine having a compatible mindset with a younger man. Anything is possible though and I wouldn't necessarily rule out anybody within say, 15 years.
I think age difference is more important during younger years. Seems like a an 18 year old and a 28 year old would be in relatively different places in their lives compared to a 48 year old and a 58 year old. Young people are facing a lot more life changes - education, career, family, while an older person is usually in a more settled state.
I've had longterm relationships with men much younger than me anywhere from 21 years younger to 11 years younger and they have all been like any other relationship. We had much in common, were loving, enjoyed the same activities. It wasn't age that ended these relationships. It was other no related issues. I don't consider age an issue unless he does not yet have children. I don't want to take the experience of being a father away from him. But jokingly told one young man "Hey, I'll probably be dead in 25 years and you'll still be young enough to move on, start a new life and have a family". Kinda morbid but that's life.
Good Grief. We sure do conjure up enough barriers in our minds, don't we? And guess what - what's going on inside my head and your heads IS NOT REAL.
Ageism to me is bigotry writ large. Now I'm sure I'll get a barrage of, "Well, this is what happened to me..." - and you know what? It doesn't matter what happened to somebody else.
Age is just a number. Race is scientifically irrelevant. If a person is brave enough to express interest in you, why should you do anything but be smart, listen and learn about that person. Prejudging them is so, well, religious.
Let the other person decide what is best for their own life...women live longer than men and you could have a wonderful life together....why would you be ruining anyone's life if he wants to be with you? The only consideration is if he wants children...in that case, that will be something he has to deal with from the beginning. Things do change, but being middle aged is not a reason to not let love happen.
I had a relationship with a woman 17 years younger and it worked fine but if she hadn't pushed it , it wouldn't have happened. There's a bit of a disconnect with history, songs, movies etc but these days those things can be caught up on. If the younger person chooses it, you should go with it. It's flattering and as long as they are old enough to know the pitfalls, it's no different than any other relationship if you two connect. Just my two cents.
I've always dated people who were older than me. My goals and my maturity level just matches those folks better than people who are within a year or two of my age. Although, I'd be open to dating younger people or people much older than me, if everything clicked and I happened to be single.
The cliche is "age is just a number", but in the situations where I have been the younger party, I quite relished the aspect of being exposed to a more mature view of things. As the older party, I relished the energy and vitality of those I have been with. There are basic realities. A wider gap between ages means diverse exposure to norms and peer values. So I think it comes down to expectations and the definition of the relationship.
I've had one marriage and several relationships with men who were younger than myself.
I've had several relationships with older men.
Age really can be an issue, if it's allowed to be.
It doesn't have to be, but there will always be those, outside the relationship,
who will feel compelled to 'contribute' their two-cents about it.
People are always going to talk, make snide comments, have negative attitudes,
tell rude jokes.
You (and your partner) can either let it bother you, or not.
In my experience all my friends were married so it might have made me hurry to marry at 21 and the woman was 34 and had 4 kids. It worked for a couple of years. In the end we remained friends over the years. She's dead now and so are 2 of the kids.
Next I'm 24 and ran off with a 16 year old. Still in the same family as the first one here, but this time around I end up with 2 daughters even though the relationship is not good.
In 1974 I ran off with a woman who had 8 kids and ended up helping raise half of them. She was 18 years older than me and we got along fine. She died of a heart attack in 1984 but my 2 daughters from the earlier marriage had come to live with us. The youngest after I found myself alone again.
In 2004 I went to Kenya at 58 to meet my future wife of the Luo tribe. She was 28 at the time and we were married 12 years. We spent over 10 years of this together. We remain friends today and we had no children together. I haven't seen her in 2 years but we both still live alone.
Throw misguided religion in between all this and there are my loves and relationships. Young or older didn't matter to me. Three white women and one black. No big deal.
I have to say that I'm very happy that you're cognizant of the dilemma at the age difference presents. That is not to say that you and he couldn't have a very long loving relationship but there will be a point where he's going to still be young relatively young and then he's going to have to take care of you. that is unless God forbid he gets a rare disease and you have to take care of him. It is something that he has to come into with his eyes wide open it is something that you have to talk about with him.
I am a massage therapist and I have seen first-hand (pun intended) what kind of effect it has on people when they enter into these kinds of relationships where the age difference is tremendous. Of course it's made more complicated when the couple ends up having children. I had one client where the female in the relationship was in her late 20s or early 30s and the guy in the relationship was in his 60s. When I met them she was in her fifties and he was in his 80s and their two kids were in college. the wife had to explain all the time that that was her husband not her father and the kids always had to explain to people that he was their dad not their grandfather and he struggled because he wanted to do things and be as lively as they needed him to be but he just could not. this is the relationship that I saw more in depth but I shall more. There was one where there was some disparity and age but the real problem was that he got dementia and she was in denial and when that happens it doesn't matter whether there's one year difference or 10 years.