Is anyone else scared to death to start over?
Not at all.
nothing like more than learning something new.
And starting a new relationship is learning something new.
JMHO.
I've done it so many times that I've completely changed how I look at it.
You really aren't "starting over". You're just moving on to the next thing.
Life is always moving. You have to move with it.
I don't think there's much worse than being "stuck".
So, try not to be "scared". You're just moving to the next thing.
You're going to be fine.
Iβve started over many times, most drastically. I was in financial services as a mortgage broker, realtor, securities dealer and just for good measure I was licensed for life health and variable annuity and through notary just to top it off. Wasnβt happy so when I found out that my wife had a boyfriend I stopped getting haircuts, got a tattoo and a divorce and took a year off before taking a job in a music store. It was not scary perhaps because it felt like it was the best path forward (mentally) and I never looked back. I never want to do a job I hate just because the money is better... I left the rat race!
I was married to a wonderful woman for 36 years. Then, she died. So I'm starting over.
Yeah, it's scarey. How does one live a single life? Who am I now as a single man? What is the new dating etiquette? How can a person not be sharing his life and still be well adjusted, happy and live a life of depth and meaning? I have to find answers.
My story exactly, even the 36 years. I am moving on but it's lonely not having the day to day interaction with a woman.
No, not at all. After my 25 year marriage ended, I realized that I was finally free. I have moved to different states, alone and not knowing a soul and have made lifelong friends. I retired, leaving my beloved midwifery practice to a young midwife, and have loved being free again. I have done lots of starting over, and I love it. It is an exciting adventure. I have dated also, but I haven't felt strongly enough about any of the men to give up my precious freedom. Maybe someday.
I met Dan, fell in love and I'm starting all over again outside Albany,NY where I lived 35 years ago. Neither one of us are scared; we've yet to have a disagreement nor an argument.
Out of necessity, I've done it a couple of times. It's always scary cuz you have no idea how things will play out, it's natural to be scared when facing the unknown. Remember this, there is no courage without fear, and no true success without the possibility of failure. None have a sure or certain future or obvious path, and failure along the way will indeed follow any significant change. You control only two things, your attitude and your persistence. Use them to overcome your struggle. Good luck. ?
I've had to start over several times. I'm not so scared of it now. It's just another chapter in the book.
I refer to them as past lives.
I'm not scared, but I'm reluctant to inflict my cynicism and doubt on some innocent nice guy.
There is a song maybe Bill Withers. ..."if it feels this good being used then USE ME UP. ..." doubt is good, that's how I became an Atheist age 5 and cynical as hell too. ....Santa Claus = lies alleged vaginal virgin Miriam in a dirty donkey stable = same down the chimney lies....boy easter bunnies laying candy eggs on dogshit lawns. ...never ate those lies either. ...my mom getting baptized when I was 9 she's blowing snot out her nose and coughing water out her mouth a white wet sheet showing her wet black bra&panties in front of 87 people that day..... come ON NOW who really believes this religious SHIT? ??? I guess women were so scared of getting pregnant burning in hell a new marriage to a nice Feminist Atheist guy like me reminds y'all of that pain even after menopause when we finally can be happy lovers without diapers and breastfeeding anymore
No.
If you feel afraid of being vulnerable, I suggest you watch "The Power of Vulnerability" by Brene' Brown. This 20-minute TED Talk changed my life.
@pamb68 -- Well, no, I'm not. Wanna know why? Because every time I wake, it is a new day -- a new start.
I think I know what you're trying to say here, but I could be totally wrong. I like to think of every big change in my life as an opportunity to either do it better this time or screw it up royally. If I do it better, there is nothing to regret or worry about. If I screw it up royally, then I have another chance to do it better or screw it up royally.
So, think of life as being presented with a series of blank canvasses on which you get to paint something and that the results can be anything from wonderful to horrible and the odds are good that each painting will be at least the same as the last and has the real potential of being something wonderful. So, pick up the brush and get to work.