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What are your views on polygamy?

By Redcupcoffee7
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84 comments

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1

Not my cuppa tea.

26

I don't have a problem with it, but I can't get/keep one partner, so small steps.

Rugglesby Level 8 Jan 30, 2018

Lol

Ditto!

yep

17

As long as all participants are willing adults, it shouldn't be anyone else's business.

Dino59 Level 2 Jan 30, 2018
13

If two, or three, or four+ people are in a happy relationship with full knowledge of the other partner(s), more power to them.

Camellen Level 4 Jan 30, 2018
9

I am happily in a long term relationship with a woman (20+ years with children) and have been very open to also finding my male "beloved." I am bi and she is very supportive and not prone to jealousy. I know very few poly folk and would like to meet more people successfully navigating a triad. Integrity, honesty, and respect are key... its the logistics that i wonder about.

7

My fantasy relationship has always included myself and 2 bi-sexual men. As an actual long-term/life partnership, not just a drunken night of debauchery that is sure to get back to my mom. (And to clarify this Forever Threesome does not at anytime involve DP. Thank you!!!!!)
Could I do it in reality? I strongly doubt it. I can barely hold onto one man. And I've noticed most our male poly community around here has long hair. Not my bag. In fact, in this reoccurring fantasy, both my lovers look exactly like Dolph Lundgren. (To clarify, this is not an incestuos brother thing either, it's just an odd coincidence!!!!)
But I do know there is only one ounce of lesbian in me and it is reserved for Shannon Doherty.
So.... I try not to concern myself in other's love affairs. Well, from a "morally superior" stance. If you've got video tapes to share, I'll grab the popcorn.

Alicia_J Level 4 Jan 30, 2018

That was freaking hilarious, Alicia! smile001.gifsmile001.gif

I too love Dolph Lundgren

7

If all parties are autonomous and freely entering the arrangement, then OK.

But I don't think that's what's happening in the FLDS church. Little girls are raised to believe that they MUST marry whoever the "prophet" chooses for them. They don't have a say. And one might think, "they could just refuse, leave the church, run away." But can they really? They are imprisoned by their beliefs and cultures. They are taught that leaving would doom their soul for eternity. Is that really freedom? Is polygamy for FLDS girls really entered into freely?

It's not for me, but I agree, "if all parties are autonomous..."

@Dida Fundamentalist

@Dida Friggin'???

7

It's alright with me as long as you also allow women to have more than one man around the house, too.

Dwight Level 7 Jan 30, 2018

Agreed

@irascible Actually the term for that is polyandry.

6

No thanks. One woman is more than enough. Sometimes too much.

6

I have trouble handling one woman. What kind of insanity would cause me to want two?

Leutrelle Level 7 Jan 30, 2018
5

As a partial transmale, androgyne, demisexual person, I just don't care if people are into polygamy.

I don't seem capable of jealousy, used to think threesomes would be great, as long as someone with whom I was previously bonded was involved.

I also seem to be amoral..seeing sex as a body function. No big deal.

However, I do know that most cis, hetero females are VERY territorial and would never share their spouses.

4

Polygamy is cultural, whether abhorred (here in the U.S.) or culturally required (Tibet). My personal view is that a family is a group the joins together for richer, for poorer (etc. etc.). If it works, and no one is harmed? All the power to them.

4

It's not my cup of tea and I don't know enough about the dynamics to make an informed comment.

Betty Level 7 Jan 30, 2018
4

Sounds to complicated to me !

Buddha Level 7 Jan 30, 2018
4

I have no issue with it

Lucy_Fehr Level 7 Jan 30, 2018
3

My most successful relationship was with a couple. I am a fan smile001.gif

was? how can that be successful?

@zrez I suppose your defintion of success may be the longevity of the relationship. Mine in this instance was the compatibility and beautiful dynamic as compared to my other relationships. The relationship only ended when the other two had a stalemate on whether or not to produce children or we would still all be together most likely.

the old "do you?" question to have kids should go to no if any party doesn't want them. I would bend and would not resort to loggerheads either way particularly if there was a love not easily replaced or fun.

@zrez just because it ends doesn't mean it failed. I've seen lots of failed relationships trudge along dysfunctionally for years. And lots of successful relationships end because it was time for both people to move on.

The end goal does not have to be 'together til we die' the end goal can be 'fulfill each other until we no longer feel we are growing together, part ways amicably, and remain friends.'

Your insistence on a traditional model in your own life does not mean the traditional model is the only available avenue for romantic/sexual/emotional fulfillment.

3

I have always been monogamous, but as I get older, and with this question posed, I don’t know that I would be completely against POLYAMORY (not polygamy) without facing the possibility and giving it considerable thought.

BlueWave Level 8 Jan 30, 2018
3

Agree - I don't have a problem with it for anyone else not my business but seems rather time consuming one partner is more than enough for me.

jacpod Level 8 Jan 30, 2018
2

I have no problem with polygamy, I have no problem with monogamy. I have tried both on for size and prefer a monogamous relationship for myself. But I never understood the idea of not liking a person based on something like that. I mean, if I meet someone who is really interesting, smart, funny, all that spiffy stuff, and they happen to be into polygamy, oh well! They are still all those things, I'm just not interested in a relationship. They can still be cool people. The only time I've ever had any kind of issue with it is when I go into a relationship, having openly discussed and agreed upon what we are each willing to except, meaning I made it clear that I was looking for a monogamous relationship and they said they were too, then I find out they are sleeping around. But to me that's not so much a poly/mono thing, as it is a lying thing.

Byrd Level 7 July 19, 2018
2

I'm polyamorous. Some people prefer it. Some don't. Whatever makes you happiest

geist171 Level 6 July 18, 2018
2

Hah! Finding one person to be with and get along with is tricky enough.

Holysocks Level 7 July 18, 2018
2

I can have an opened-mind & see the pros & cons of polyamory.

WeaZ Level 7 July 18, 2018
2

I have nothing against it for other people but not for me . I do not want a man that does not think I am important enough to be the only one

juli15 Level 6 Jan 30, 2018
2

I've enjoyed reading people's responses to this question so far. I just recently turned 48 years old and most of my friends (many mostly in their mid-to-late 30s) are polyamorous and it seems to work for them. I know two married couples and five non-married people who seem to make it work for them.

I've "tried it" and decided it's not for me; however, that doesn't mean it's not for others. I think several people have hit the key word for me, and that is consensual/ethical non-monogamy. Cheating is not polyamory; it's cheating. For those of you who want to know more, there is an EXCELLENT book entitled LOVE IN ABUNDANCE by Kathy Labriola that helped me understand the issues at hand. This book also helps one determine if they would be able to successfully have a non-monogamous/ polyamorous relationship.

The issues I see with those around me make me reluctant to ever try it again. For example:

1) you like someone and want to make them your "primary," but they already have a primary
2) the various "partners" don't like each other and cause drama
3) some people use polyamory to find a new partner before dumping the old one

2

It really doesn't matter to me what other adults do within their own relationships, as long as everyone is consenting. That said, I think most of us have enough trouble navigating singular relationships as it is. Adding additional people just seems like asking for trouble.
But hey, knock yourselves out.

KKGator Level 9 Jan 30, 2018
2

Warren Jeff’s was a Mormon polygamist with about 70 wives. He was finally arrested and sent to prison for marrying a 14 year old girl which I thought was appropriate as many of his marriages were pretty much arranged by Mormon religious nuts. However I have no problem with polygamy among consenting adults.

Trajan61 Level 8 Jan 30, 2018
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