You have to tell him he's making you uncomfortable and to back off. Directly.

I would do this.... Have a conversation with him in private. I would tell him that you are uncomfortable with his advances and don't really want to be the "bad guy" but will go to HR if he continues. If he tries to play it off as "one friend complimenting the other" then tell him you are uncomfortable with his compliments as you see it as more than that. SHUT HIM DOWN!

I'd also unfriend him (or whatever you call it) on FB. All he is going to do with that is fantasize anyway...

I would suggest that you be absolutely honest about your feelings and explain to him the situation just as you did on here. If he doesn't respect that, then he is not a good person...you can't blame him for trying, but you can blame him for persisting..

He sounds horribly manipulative and dishonest. The fact that he's as willing to hurt his wife by cheating speaks to his gross lack of character. I wouldn't want to even be friends with this creep. I pity the poor woman he tricked into marrying him. I'd give him exactly one warning to back off before reporting his behavior.

Let this guy know emphatically that you do NOT seek relationships beyond professional interactions with married men. Especially at work. Inform him that all communication between you moving forward will be work related and professional or you will escalate the matter to your HR department.

whatever happened to free love ?
Like free stuff, it's part of the new leftist tradition of sharing everything that ain't yours

You don't need to overreact, and if you do he may well accuse you of misconstruing him being friendly. I think you know what you need to say - in a nice way tell him that there are professional boundaries you would like to stick to and some of his comments have caused you embarrassment. That should probably do it without too much awkwardness. If he ever says he would like to know you better than just as a work colleague, that's your chance to say "Great, how about introducing me to your wife and kids?".

let's keep this professional...........

There’s plenty of advice already posted. It sounds like you’ve already told him you’re not interested in anything more than a professional relationship. The next inappropriate contact must be reported to HR, although I understand that women’s complaints about harassment often are discounted and you have to be prepared for an inadequate response. . He’s putting you in an uncomfortable position. Protect yourself in anyway you must.Find allies at work. Keep his texts as evidence.

As an RN who’s had to endure more than enough of this disgusting behavior. You are not in the wrong here. He continued to take advantage of a situation. He overstepped the professional relationship with the moment he made an inappropriate comment and touched you in an inappropriate way.
Whether he is married, single or engaged does not factor into the equation.
You’re trying to rationalize his irrational behavior. The guy is a pig, it’s not complicated.
Has anyone else noticed this behavior? The last thing you want to do become a subject of gossip.
When you do report, you go directly to HR.

Back in the day I handled this first by saying "I don't date co-workers". Period.

It later bit me in the ass with single co-workers. lol
But in today's work environment it's not a bad way to present it.

If it happens even once more? I'd say go to a superior. Frankly it's harassment. That's why companies have seminars.

Inform him that what he is doing is legally classified as sexual harrassment, and there are policies in place concerning that behavior in the workplace. Futhermore, you respect his ability as a fellow nurse, but do not appreciate his "compliments", and if they don't cease you will be forced to lodge a harrassment complaint with HR.

The fact that you're here asking means he's gone over the threshold. You are uncomfortable with the situation, and you should not have to put up with this situation to make a living. Forget the notion of not making this a big deal, forget the notion of hurting his feelings, your security in the work you do is critical. Tell him to back off or you will report him.

You can be nice, and straight forward at the same time. A simple "Please stop, you're making me uncomfortable," would be a good start. Any tension after that will be totally on him.

My original comment was sent at 57 comments and counting... now it is 91. I don't know about this guy or how you will decide to manage going forward but boy, at least you should thank him for getting about a zillion points on this thread !!!

Tell him to stop and that you are friendly only in a work sort of way. Be firm but polite and then watch him like a hawk. Watch to see if he is going to lie on you or undermine you in any way. If he does, then you have to take this to a higher level and that is not always fun because it affects the work place situation. Some men take a hint. Others are total assholes.

I honestly don't understand why so many people are trying to be "nice" about this.
She didn't create the problem, HE did. Why should she be going out of her way to be "nice" about dealing with this?
That is EXACTLY why sexual harassment in the workplace has become such a huge problem.
STOP being "nice" about it. Make HIS life miserable. He's an asshole.

Threaten to tell his wife publicly, if he doesn't stop, and if your employer doesn't
handle it to your satisfaction.
Print out all communications with him. Show him you have it (have copies in case he snatches what you show him--cover your ass).
Tell him if he doesn't leave you alone, and not interfere with the
work environment, you will give his wife everything.

Get a lawyer and prepare to sue him and your employer. You might need to.
Especially since his behavior is effecting your work environment.
Who knows? He may have done the same thing to some of your coworkers.

When people start shit with others (bullies), they don't expect their victims to fight back. I don't believe in simply fighting back. That usually doesn't put a stop to it.
You have to come back with scorched earth. Blow up their world. They don't expect that.

STOP being nice to assholes. Ruin THEIR lives. They don't care about what
they do to yours.

I would ask, very gently, why you've let it get this far already and why you don't know what to do about it. I don't want to suggest that you've done anything wrong. He is in the wrong. However, you have had the power to put a stop to his behavior at any point and you have chosen not to.

Consider this. The work environment is already tense. Who's feeling tense? You. He's the one who created a tense work environment, not you. Why do you feel reluctant to make it feel tense for him instead of for you?

His comment about your pants was inappropriate, not you wearing the pants. But instead of his comments ending, you wearing the pants ended.

Him asking you about going to the work party was inappropriate but again, instead of you insisting he change his behavior, your behavior changed.

Again I want to emphasize that you haven't done anything wrong. I've been where you are at and been unable to put an end to inappropriate behavior in others. There will always be people around you who are willing to push boundaries, men, women, and children. Even though they are the ones in the wrong, you still have to be the one who puts a stop to it. I've learned to do so and my life is so much better for it.

It's not a change you can make overnight but if you work at it, you can get to the point where when people do things like he's doing, you instantly shut it down. But you have to first know that it's okay for you to do that and that it's possible to get to that point if you work at it.

I'd like to also mention that his behavior is wrong whether he is married or not. His marriage makes it more offensive but even if he wasn't married, he's still being a creep. As you deal with this, don't make it about him being married.

Just say whats on your mind strait forwardly. You have the impression that he is hitting on you even if it is not what h intends, that you do not want him in your space, not interested in sharing personal information or closeness and tell him to keep an appropriate topic as working associates.

Politely tell him that you are not interested, that his attentions are making you uncomfortable and that he needs to restrict his behavior to activities and comments typical of casual work friend and coworkers. (Reasoning: one of the first questions is going to deal with how you responded to his comments and advances. If you haven’t told him “No!” Your case is weakened— even if it should not be.)

Keep that list up to date and current.
If you can, do that in text or email and save it. Save it it with a full list of actions(as you described them above as a start) with as much detail, date, place and time and witnesses, if any, as you can. (Reasoning: information, as noted, is important to making your case. Make it specific and contemporaneous.)

Save that info, etc. If he does not stop the behaviors that make you uncomfortable, politely tell him if they continue, that you will have no choice but to complain to your company.

If it occurs again, then, file a formal complaint with the appropriate magemrnt offici/officer.

Good luck.

You don't have to be willing to put up with his unwonted attentions just to work with him. Ask yourself which you would prefer: putting up with his advances for the year(s) to come; or feeling the residual tension if you tell him that you wouldn't go out with him even if he wasn't married. Sometimes a stiff distance is better than a touchy-feely closeness on the job.

For you: document everything that has happened. Be prepared to tell all.
Talk to more than one person about this now.

Be clear: tell him to stop. Do this in front of someone you trust if he does not stop.

To understand him more: An interesting perspective about this: Esther Perel "the state of affairs - rethinking infidelity"
She maintains that the changes in marriage about 100 years ago, and the women's rights changes, haver resulted in insane expectations from having only one significant other. Hence, the number of happily married people exploring new types of relationships.

Jeez.
Checking back when I find the post count has hit 100. And, it seems I'm the only one recommending a swift, and conclusive solution to this. Although @Kkgator comes pretty close. What the heck is wrong with you people? Be nice? Be "gentle"??? Someone should take this clod out to the parking lot and beat the tar out of him.

I would just be open n truthful and tell this person in no uncertain terms your beliefs preclude u from any relationship with a married person