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After 35 years of marriage, a husband and wife came for counseling. When asked what the problem was, the wife went into a tirade listing every problem they had ever had in the years they had been married.

On and on and on: neglect, lack of intimacy, emptiness, loneliness, feeling unloved and unlovable, an entire laundry list of unmet needs she had endured.

Finally, after allowing this for a sufficient length of time, the therapist got up, walked around the desk and after asking the wife to stand, he embraced and kissed her long and passionately as her husband watched - with a raised eyebrow. The woman sat down as though in a daze.

The therapist turned to the husband and said, "This is what your wife needs at least 3 times a week. Can you do this?"

"Well, I can drop her off here on Mondays and Wednesdays, but on Fridays, I fish."

Jacar 8 Nov 20

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10

Funny, but unfortunately this is how women often feel in a marriage, and when they leave the husband is so surprised because according to him everything was just perfect.

The other side is that women who keep complaining like that are given everything they want and are never satisfied and still complain . This leaves the men downtrodden and feeling worthless despite giving everything to please her .

This could have been me, except I wouldn’t unload the tirade during therapy, nor did I last 35 years. He absolutely refused couples counseling.

If the woman was given everything she wanted, she wouldn’t be complaining or dissatisfied. My abusive ex used to tell me that he did everything to please me. The cycle of violence includes the honeymoon phase where he would try to dig out of the hole of verbal, mental and physical abuse by throwing a few gifts at me. When I didn’t fall all over him with gratitude, I was told I was a bitch who could never be satisfied. It’s funny because I haven’t had to see his nasty face for six years now and I’m perfectly satisfied. ?

@Killtheskyfairy yeah abusive womem don’t work like that

So, who has chaged over the years...the woman or the man?

As with most jokes, the truth at their core is private agony.

@Simon1 if you feel downtrodden and worthless, LEAVE!

@Killtheskyfairy yeah like it’s that easy

@Simon1 Well Simon, things are not what these women need or want. A new car or new dresses is not what they yearn for and men think they do that is the problem.

@Simon1, @dahermit I think women have changed and unfortunately men are left behind. They have lost their "hunter gatherer" reason due to women now being able to earn their own money. They don't understand that we can be equal yet different. When something is lacking in a relationship most women try to fix it in different ways but men just bury their heads in the sand and pretend that nothing is happening. I am not blaming men and I feel sorry for them, it must be hell for some of them, all the things that they think a men should be is not so. I am generalising here, of course all men are not like that, some are even worse, unfortunately.

@Killtheskyfairy Unfortunately many people both men and women hope that it will blow over, stay way too long or don't try to do anything about the situation.

@Jolanta If there is something in a relationship that needs to be "fixed", then it is likely it cannot be fixed. Nature makes no plan for romantic relationships that last longer than the "consorting pairs" stage. Have you not noticed when a couple are dating, the female thinks the male is absolutely perfect? I got news for you girls...we men do not change, we enter the relationship with all the faults that you are going to complain about in a few years. It is just that now you have taken your dumb-ass blinders off and you have grown tired of what you married.

@Jolanta Women start out accepting men for what they are. Then after a time, they just want to change "one little thing". Then after while, they want to change another "minor" flaw. Then after a few years of trying to change their man, they wonder, "Where is the man I married?" Women be honest...are you really that loveable? Come on girls... no man is responsible for YOUR happiness.

@dahermit You are right there. Some women want to change men all the time, actually a lot of them but I think that when we get married we actually do not know the other person. Often we get married for the wrong reasons, and do you think they will talk about it or get help, no they won't. Nobody is responsible for anybody els happiness but then some are responsible for someone unhappiness, both men and women.

@dahermit I cannot agree with you there. Some people want to improve whether they are men or women and some don't. I know of people that are very lonely and wonder why they do not have friends/a relationship but they themselves are "bad" friends or boyfriend/girlfriends. Some of them you can help by pointing out their shortfalls as human beings and they change others get angry and defensive and stay the same. This is both men and women. If someone criticises you don't get mad, look and listen to what they are saying. Is it true or not and then act accordingly.

@Jolanta I don't get mad when some significant other criticizes me, I just leave and find someone who does not feel compiled to find fault. I am not perfect, but then neither are the princesses who have been seduced by the myth of a prince charming. I do not feel I have the moral high ground or the right to criticize my mate.

@Simon1 Do you think it was easy for me to leave? He told me he was going to kill me if I tried to leave. I had to get a restraining order. I hear many stories of women trying to leave abusive partners and ending up dead. It’s a fairly high statistic that is not replicated on the male side. Go if you’re unhappy, don’t whine!

Hunter gatherer societies had equality of the sexes. Women were gatherers and contributed more than half of the caloric intake of the group. Agrarian society and religion took that equality away with the need to secure male dominance and heirs.

@dahermit So, in that case if your mate abuses you it is not ok to say something, and before you say just leave sometimes it is not possible to do that. Remember abuse is not only physical and yes it works both ways. Both men and women do that to each other.

Yea...and this is exactly how many husbands feel in a marriage...that their needs and wants are not even addressed, much less given any credibility. What's your position if the husband had made out with the counselor, in front of his wife, and then the counselor admonishes the wife (without giving her the opportunity to express her feelings) to give the man any and all the attention? Feminist hypocrisy strikes again...

@jondspen my position has always been that it is not ok for either party to do so. This is a scenario how women feel, nothing to do with "making" out with anybody. If you think that then you have not understood this at all.

@Jolanta Sure...how women feel trumps anything and everything else. I will agree this is how women may feel; I just disagree their feelings should always be pandered to regardless of the situation or facts. So no, this is a scenario how women's feelings and 'victimization' is almost ALWAYS the focus and priority.

(1) Man came to counseling - so appears he does care to at least attend and try to work together with her
(2) Woman bitches about 35 years of disappointment, not about what is wrong NOW
(3) Counselor doesn't allow man to speak or express his side
(4) Counselor makes out with woman in front of husband
(5) Counselor then make a diagnosis of everything wrong with the marriage (all the man's fault of course)
( 6 ) Husband's 'Give A Shit' finally breaks at her incessant whining and the counselor's gross unprofessional actions
(7) Everyone instinctively cries out "Poor, poor woman!!!"

This automatic knee-jerk emotional response to sympathize with the woman without pause for critical thinking or evaluation of the facts presented in the joke is another POV, and I feel a valid way to look at the story and responses presented. Yet you seem to think the woman is always right, and ... "If you think that then you have not understood this at all."

@jondspen I think for you it would probably be better if you stayed single.

5

So funny! Husband’s logic may have been his downfall from the beginning! ‘Let someone else do the heavy lifting!’

5

Sounds like she needs a new husband.

Carin Level 8 Nov 20, 2018

Yep...I am sure guys would be lining up for a ride on that train wreck.

@jondspen It sounds like her complaints were proven to be valid with that last line!

@Carin Yep.

@Carin @SirDaddyGru Hmmm..interesting. She comes in, bitching about 35 years of every little thing that hasn't went her way (instead of focusing on what's wrong now), makes out with the counselor in front of her husband, who didn't even give the husband a chance to give his side of the argument before admonishing him as being the sole and obvious problem, and you wonder why he responds by not giving a flying F what either one of them says? Wow...such feminism pandering. I know it was a joke...but the part that is not funny is the sexist attitude you take towards the husband, knowing deep down that had the husband made out with the counselor who didn't give the wife a chance to express before making a 'diagnosis', it would be called misogynistic. I mean really...are you both that brainwashed that you think women are always right and the perpetual victim in every case, because that is exactly what your comments convey.

@jondspen You're being ridiculous. It takes away from any valid point you were trying to make. Also, this was not a true story....

@Carin Yea...that's why I said I know it's a joke...but again, the part that is not funny is that so many people on here just automatically flock to the woman's defense. It really is quit telling, and no, it doesn't take away ANYTHING from the point. It is sexist hypocrisy and feminism brainwashing...if you refuse to acknowledge or admit that b/c it's unsavory to look at...that is completely on you.

4

LOL.
I would have enjoyed that therapy.

UUNJ Level 8 Nov 21, 2018
4

That would be funny...but I have a sneaking suspicion it's a true story. 🙂

3

The ability to persevere is a great quality but this is just martyrdom. If you're miserable, leave. You only have one life to be loved and if you have to tell your husband to show you affection..... you're not really gonna get it.

2

Hilarious!

2

LMAO!!

balou Level 8 Nov 21, 2018
2

Hah! You got me on that one! ?

2

Bwahaha I laughed way too hard at that.

1

Sounds like the therapist is getting his monies worth!! Lol....

1
1

I laughed so haaaard! Hahaha! Oh, my gosh! Seriously funny.?

1

It makes me think about how woman think of men as more than sexual objects but marriages break down because sex is absent.

0

Ha ha!

0

Great responses. Thanks.

Jacar Level 8 Nov 23, 2018
0

...the meaning is clear
The humor is marvellous!!!

0

My take on this, is that most men are TERRIFIED of change.

Why is this? Well, as you may have noticed, it's an uncertain world. And men (not unlike many women) are sensitive to, and wish to avoid, situations that create fear and uncertainty. I have a theory: the anxiety induced by birth itself (separation from the mother that gave us EVERYTHING we wanted and needed), and later by maturing, gives us (whether we acknowledge it or not) a deep sense of being somehow unworthy of that bliss.

Now woman get a blessing that men never do: the ability to experience that oneness from the other side by bearing a child. And the few women I have convinced to open up about this experience have told me there is nothing like it in the world. The love that mothers feel for their children has a depth and intensity men can rarely hope to match.

So all we get is the fleeting reconnection available through sex. I cannot possibly over-state how important this is to us, that we feel desired, and that this desire is persistent. Without it, we become....mean.

So, when a woman pledges her eternal love (that is, when she agrees to marry), we think: "Well, then, that's settled!" (and you just have to imagine the biggest weight in the world removed from our shoulders, here).

But it's not that simple or easy, is it? For one, if a man stops wooing a woman after he's won her, she feels cheated. Where did all that sweet loving go? And, eventually, in her frustration, she will remind him that he is not perfect, and hint that perhaps her love might not BE eternal, after all. And he will go fishing, because emotional range is not our forte.

It's far more intractable than just a failure to communicate-it's a failure to understand that we (men and women) actually speak different languages that use the same words. That "I love you" and "I want you" mean different things to each of us.

And just so, we carry our disappointments and resentments silently, until someone can stand it no longer. Where is the fucking love we were PROMISED? Of course, it's everybody's fault. Men need to understand women require every bit of tenderness and passion a man can muster, and women need to understand that this goes counter to every instinct we have to fight, and wound. For the pain of that original loss NEVER goes away.

The thing that makes this joke funny, is that we RECOGNIZE ourselves in it, and it hurts.

0

There are a few tribal cultures that have gotten it right. They have separate houses for all the men and all the women. The men and women only come into contact for sex and otherwise only keep company with their own sex...it eliminates the sense of entitlement that seems to be the impetus for complaining. No unrealistic princesses looking for Prince Charming.

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