Who has the energy or the blah blah blah for all these ? U kidding me? I rather have a great relationship w one man than running around to sample others at the same x . And a great relationship , to my taste , takes time , daily effort and dedication , energy , brains , patience and plenty of body . I have never been hungry Woolf . I have been a mad lioness however and I did told few men to get the hell out of my life . But cheating is for the birds . My pride is very important to me .

If you want to have sex with someone else leave your relationship. Period. Integrity matters.

No, getting caught is not the damage, it is having to deal with the lie. Self guilt is far worse than getting caught.

No, I'd know, and that's not who I want to be. I wouldn't want to be with anyone who didn't feel the same way about it.

No. Who cares if you don't get caught? YOU know what you did.. possibly hurting another for your own gratification? Why?

Post a poll. I wouldn't. That's me. Reason - Why, if you love someone.

I've been on both sides of that... never again.

No! What a nasty thing to do! And if you don't think lying & sneaking won't change you, and not for the better, think again........

Not worth the chance of hurting the other person.

Nope! I'd know and would feel too guilty to enjoy my life. One at a time, for me.

Cheating in my opinion is a sign of weakness even if the cheater is never caught, now had you asked "If you cheated on your diet & guaranteed never to gain weight, would you do it?" The answer would be hard yes! ? ? ???????

Here we go- let the posturing begin....I'm assuming nick, that you are talking about a relationship that is mutually agreed to be monogamous. If that's the case, for me the answer would be NO. One, I desire integrity in both myself and in a partner. So whether I got caught or not would not matter. I would know, would feel guilt (hey, I grew up Catholic and that part never left me), and it would soon affect my relationship, not worth it for all those reasons. I would hope that my future partner would feel the same about doing that to me and about being monogamous. I may not be rich, I may not be good-looking, I may not be the smartest person in the room, but damn, I love feeling morally superior to most Americans and I know in my heart that I am. Doing this selfish exercise in cheating would also cost me this perverse self-satisfaction. As my late wife said, I am as loyal and honest as the family dog. I make no judgment about relationships that are poly, open, or whatever else because adults have the right to choose what works and make their own agreements. The point is about living up to your agreements.

Now I will read the members comments.....

why would i want to? if i wanted to, then why would i be in the relationship?

g

Big NO!

No. If you want to have sex with someone else, get out of the relationship that you are in now because it is not working. Cheating will make it worse. That is disrespectful to the person you are in a relationship with. How would you feel if it was done to you. Emphatically no.

No - to be a cheater is to be a liar. Cheating is emotional abuse. If one is unhappy in a relationship, they should work to fix it or get out honorably.

I would not at this point in time, but if I had a life partner who developed dementia and was unable to consent to sex or to comprehend an open relationship....

I would know it and it would bother me.

Why are you in a relationship if you're sneakily looking for it on the side?

The problem is, YOU remember. Your mind will always know that it betrayed someone's trust. I think a healthy brain will always want to make it right, clean it up, and until that happens, it will throw up roadblocks until that happens. Unless it's okay with that person, in which case, there's more at stake than just the extra-relationship affairs.

What? You mean with another person or by yourself?

The vast majority of people are found to be operating at a moral level of conformity or just doing whatever won't get them in trouble. I used to be fascinated by this subject, which was best researched by Lawrence Kolhberg quite a while ago using different hypo ?s like this. His research, like Dave's point below, is not very encouraging......

In my local area, there's a guy that I used to really like as a political activist that even ran for governor, a real Green Party type and progressive. Then, soon after that, I and other lefties around me found out that he had started cheating on his longtime wife with a woman that was a fellow activist in an activist group they were both involved in while his wife was at home too busy with the kids for politics. He later divorced his wife and married the activist. After that, no matter how much I agree with his politics, I will no longer respect or trust that man on anything because he held himself up as having such superior integrity to the other pols about how he couldn't be bought or bribed, but in the end he was just another fraud, like John Edwards. Poetically just, he married the woman he cheated with and SHE divorced him about a year later. Nowadays, the lefties around here see him as a joke and rightly so....

If not getting caught is the qualifier....just as soon not know me....same as cheating. Trying to get something for nothing.....not really possible

Absolutely not! That's a terrible thought.

Interesting to read all the comments. I would normally say absolutely not. However about 10 years ago my marriage became sexless and loveless. After 2 heart to hearts and several months of seeing a couple's therapist, I realized he wasn't going to put effort into making the marriage work. So about 5 years ago I bought myself a vibrator to deal with the lack of sex. That worked for about a year, but I missed skin on skin connection with someone. We had significant debt and 2 daughters...I honestly didn't feel like I could leave and I didn't want to break up my daughters family. So yes, I cheated.

We ended up filing for bankruptcy and a couple years later I finally realized I would be a better mother if I was happy and that would be the best thing for my daughters. Even though it meant changing our family dynamic.

Going forward I don't see myself ever cheating again. I'm not having any more children and highly doubt I will get married again. The option to just leave the relationship will be there without having to disrupt too many other lives.

Hindsight is 20/20 and yes, if I had to do it over again I would have handled it VERY differently. But I did what I thought was best for my kids at the time.