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If you were visiting someone at their home and on Sunday they asked you to attend church with them what would you do? These are very close friends and not attending church with them would hurt their feelings very much.

Marine 8 Jan 8
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23 comments

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5

Politely decline; if they were true friends they would respect your beliefs.

4

I'd make it conditional that they come to an atheist meet up with me at a later date. If they decline, the problem solves itself and no guilt would be felt by me for then declining their invitation. If they lie and say they'll go and later decline, then one wasted a bit of time, kept the friendship, and will decline the next time I'm invited without guilt.

3

If they are real friends they will respect and accept your declining to attend church with them. Just tell them that you are an atheist and going to worship something you don’t believe exists would be pointless. It has nothing to do with their feelings, it is not a personal rejection of them, just a rejection of their belief in god. If your friendship is valued by them there should be no problem, if they take offence and it ends your friendship, then they were not true friends to start with.

3

If they are really close friends they also understand how friendship requires showing of respect for differences as well as commonalities. An invitation to indulge with them in addictive substances would differ little. Just say no.

3

Tell them that I am going to my church to worship. Then head over to IHOP for pancakes. Or to a nearby Italian restaurant for a pastafarian service.

3

I would offer to clean up the breakfast dishes or cut the grass instead.

3

no one who was that close a friend of mine would even dream of asking me to go to church with them, and if by some quirk they did, they would not be hurt by my declining to do so. if they were the kind of folks who temporarily forgot i was not ever going to go to church with them, and they were the kind of folks who'd be hurt by my refusal, i certainly wouldn't be visiting them on a sunday. they probably wouldn't be my friends, either.

g

3

If they were close friends then they would know already that I wouldn't be going.

2

i wouldnt go. they wouldnt go devil worshipping if i wanted too either. be true too yourself

Ha, ha, that would be a great come-back to them . . . . Sure, I will go, if you will go to the Satanic Temple with me . . . . I can just imagine the expressions on their faces!

@THHA exactly

2

If they're good enough friends and OK inviting an atheist I'll go to Church/Temple/Mosque, then sure I done so plenty of times. Whether it be wedding, funeral, bat mitzvah, first communion or just, we're going to attend a service do you want to stay here or keep us company. I'd not want their imaginary friends get in the way of their real ones. Not least because when I'm merely present, they can't help but wonder what it all looks like to the atheist sitting next to them and that got to be a nudge towards thinking critically about it all.

2

I would politely decline. I don't understand how this would hurt their feelings. Are they so fragile that your saying thanks but no would wound them that badly?

GwenC Level 7 Jan 8, 2019
2

To me if they're really that close of friends I would go as long as they were aware of my beliefs or lack thereof had a lighter note stay away from the Kool-Aid

2

My best friend in high school was a preacher's son. When I stayed with him, he invited us go to to church. My wife and I said "Sorry, we don't believe that stuff" We were still best friends afterwards.

BD66 Level 8 Jan 8, 2019
2

I would most likely attend their services with them. I do not believe that I would risk this friendship over one church service. Attending the service would gratify my friends and not change anything for me.

^^This

If not going to church with anyone would ruin a friendship, I would say goodbye and good riddance.

if they are the kind of people who would be terribly hurt by your not going to church with them, in what way are you close? how are they close to you if they don't already know you don't want to go to church? how close can they be if your saying no would endanger the friendship?

g

1

If it’s just a Sunday service skip it. If it’s a special event, it’s not a big deal.. it’s just a building.

1

I would go...no problem here...

1

If they were close friends they wouldn't expect me to attend church with them.. If they really wanted me to go.to meet other firends..or such.. maybe a barbque.. whatever.. and said.. if you like to go... perhaps..but probably not.

I agree. Even my family knows that I walk outside during their saying of blessings before meals. Regardless where we are! I have one friend who does hers silently, just dips her head for a moment. I sit and wait; that feels more respectful of others present.

1

Politely decline with as few words as possible. Not your problem, their feelings, and they sure ignored tyour unease......

1

It's up to you. Recently I met an older man, a younger man, and what looked like the younger man's 2 kids at my door. They were all smiles and the younger man thrust a bible tract into my hand and they invited me to their church. I gave it back immediately and said "I do not go to church" and closed the door.

1

If the know your beliefs or non, good friends would not ask to begin with.

0

I've always found a firm but friendly "No, thank you" works well. I've never had anyone be offended, even by people who don't know that I'm a nonbeliever.

0

Well, I was staying with a couple for a short time a long time ago, and they invited me to church, and after expressing no interest, they continued to insist, so I went. When everyone rose to sing a hymn, I remained seated. Afterward they complained to me that I have "embarrassed them". I was unmoved by their complaint . . . the problem with accepting such an invitation is that they will likely think the same way, and when you go, and they attempt to put social pressure on you with the expectation that you will cave in to it.

THHA Level 7 Jan 8, 2019
0

Do what you gotta do.

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