Keep moving but keep your integrity. Personally, I've reached the pane of glass stage, potential partners look right through me. I still have hope, but I won't pander. It is cool being unencumbered too. Whatever happens, I ride it out. My expectations are very low anymore, and that works for me. Good luck, hon. May harmony find you.

maybe the trick isn't to keep looking for someone, but instead to keep being the best you that you can be so someone who is looking for someone finds YOU. be that someone.

g

Hmm..perhaps because the male's job is to court and pursue, not you. The only job a cis, normal women has to do is choose a man out of the eager crowd of suitors.
It's not our job to do anything but evaluate them.

We only accept dates for three days in advance. We only meet men near our houses, but don't tell them where we live or anything about ourselves for a about five dates. They pay for the date and make the plans and if they don't, we remember things we had to do at home and LEAVE..immediately because of course we drive our OWN cars and never get in the car with the man.

We never sleep with a man until we are exclusive, and if the man "forgets" a holiday or our birthday, we suddenly have "other plans" and say things like,"This isn't working out," then we delete them from our social media, block their phone number, and if someone asks about them, we shrug and say it "didn't work out."

But we are the ones doing the mate shopping and in the meantime we are happy in our jobs, with our friends, our hobbies, our book clubs, etc. and have no desperate needy, clingy behavior that makes men run for the hills!

Greetings, Carolina neighbor!
I hear you. I’ve been divorced 3 times. I’m older than you, 58. Single this time since 2014...it’s tough out here, for sure.
I’ve realized two things, after all these years, that explain why I may not, and probably should not, have a long term/live-in partner:
One, I’m damaged from a lifetime of narcissistic abuse from my mother and two partners. I’ve healed as much as I can, and still am, but trust is very hard.
Two, I’m very, very introverted. I need time, space, and quiet to recharge myself. If I don’t get it—alone, in my place, not just in another room—I’m not as good a person or partner.
Learning who you are and what you need is a journey. I hope you find it

I don't look at it so much as an end game but as a process. All relationships come to an end at some point; whether through breakup or ultimately death. And each relationship is a learning experience. It helps you to get to know yourself a bit better. What you want and what you don't want. It is vastly better to be on your own than in a toxic relationship. I've also heard that when you are not specifically looking,it will happen. The last 2 good relationships I had were a result of my not looking for it.

You sound very passive for one who perseveres as described. "...when he doesn't call for three days after initially expressing a lot of interest." Does your phone work both ways or only receive? Do you think so little of yourself that your value is defined by a man's interest or lack thereof?

By your use of the term 'dating' are we to presume that it includes sex? It is an important bit of information. If it does, why not try 'not doing the same thing over and over while expecting a different outcome'?

You posted this so I hope you won't be offended by honest answers. 'Real loves' don't dissolve into nothingness. Other types of 'relationships' do and there are many; in fact most in our times are 'other types' being fantasized, often mutually, to be real loves. If sex isn't part of the 'dating', you're screening and finding duds is something to celebrate, not lament. "6 months" as a reference suggests that sex IS part of it and the answer in that case is relatively simple. If you know and love yourself enough to know what you 'bring to the table' of getting acquainted is of high value, you'll also allow enough time to observe and evaluate anyone who thinks they are good enough for you to prove it.

Losing a male because he is impatient and doesn't give you the opportunity to see what a great guy he is and his friends and family and co-workers THINK he is, is NO LOSS. It is a gain.

Is there something off kilter with you beliefs and personality in the men you choose to date. I made some bad choices in attempted relationships in my lifetime, and some cost me in many ways. But, I found a keeper and it was worth it.

So all the guys you have ever met are at fault here huh?

Success is built upon the failures of others!

Opt times your own, even without your own inclinations.

It seems every time I thought that I had found the one, it always dissolved into nothingness as you stressed!

Six months seems to be a natural process, time span for meeting, dating, making plans, some sort of disillusion by one the members and then separation!

One or more of them are very Capable of holding your soul and your heart, yet let you go, almost always stating it was their fault.

I'm a little confused here, you are thinking of giving up on dating or relationships?

It sounds like after your marriage fell apart you are having trouble loving someone else, maybe because deep down you are still attached to him emotionaly, or maybe because you see signs of hurt from previous relationships in every new person you date, there are other posibilities too, for example perhaps you have actually never met the right person from lack of opurtunity or simple bad luck.

I can't say I am an expert, but I believe our modern culture makes it more difficult to find a genuine relationship and easier to end one that exists. In particular, the existence of many sub cultures and the rapid spread of ideas has made people more diverse both localy and globally. In addition, ending relationships the moment they start to turn sour is perfectly normal. ( I'm not saying I think either of these things is wrong, just that they make things different than in the past )

Remember everyone's world view is going to be fundamentaly different from your own, sometimes in ways that are hard to comprehend.

Please don't stop unfortunately you live in a rough area for finding nice guys we are out here and looking expand your search to longer distance and definitely out of the deep south

But also learn that you do not have to be paired up to be complete. I'm just fine by myself. It would be nice....but it's not required in life.

I understand where you're coming from, but I think in my case I've become too accustomed to doing my own thing. That coupled with my work schedule means I'm pretty much not suited to relationships. Sometimes it would be nice to have someone I could talk to on more than a superficial level, but I don't know that it's worth the trade-off.

Hey, take it from a guy named Still Trying, I get it! Every single word! Totally agree! I wasted A LOT of time on people that should never have been invited into my life! But I gotta jump right back on that metaphorical horse! Can't give up on love!

too far away but I feel you. I recently started dating after a long and let's say dysfunctional marriage. Why does this have to be so complicated? I would laugh but..
My advice? Look deeper.Relate for personality instead of age or looks. I know it's hard. It is for me anyway. Told myself years ago, I just would not settle for any one that wasn't the one.
Let's share our experiences. i am a guy that really is looking for the "love of my life"... I laugh(cuz all my friends do) but I still believe.

I have confidence. You'll get there!

The more lonely I am the more vulnerable to accepting what should be the unacceptable. When I'm at my loneliest my mind does a great job of creating somthing out of nothing. One cannot just stop being lonely. I'm learning to reach out and make friendships with no expectation for romance. I've decided friendship is just as valuable to me as a mate. I'm sure one day intimacy and love will be part of my life but if I make it my life goal it will more likely result in pain and dissapountment.

As non-believers, we all know there is no divine plan, no person out there chosen just for us. The universe is a giant cosmic roulette wheel. It’s possible to spin a thousand times and miss your number a thousand times. The only way you’re guaranteed not to hit your number is if you choose not to play. Hang in there - the law of large numbers is on your side!

"It's not me. It's you."

I don't want to keep going in the dating dept. I don't know one person I'd want to just go on a first date with. Sigh.

Not that I expect a mis-match, but I learned long ago, that if I don't anticipate an outcome of a meeting in the first place, it greatly minimizes the chance to feel disappointment.

I try to treat each new encounter as a blank slate. That said, I've also learned to avoid those fresh from a heartbreak - whether it was caused by a break-up, or a death. It seems it's a rare person who's ready for a healthy reconnection right away.

I would be interested to know what it is that you are looking for, and what "standards" or expectations you have. Do you believe in love at first sight? Do you believe in happenstance? I have found that once I stop searching, I find someone.

I was raised with the idea that people should accept me as I am. After years of resentment when that never happened I've come to realize that I can't expect people to put up with me being needy, disrespectful, or even boring. Life has led me on a path where I never really developed qualities within myself that would help people feel comfortable around me. I'm coming to a place of acceptance about that now. I haven't given up either but my efforts right now are more focused on developing myself to the point that I can offer a comfortable place beside me to someone who wants to offer the same to me. I might fail since I got such a late start but I don't have anything better to do and I'll be better off either way.

Good luck in your own efforts. Don't be afraid to change focus if need be. The most important part is finding what makes you feel happy and that might be something different than you think.

You're not going to find anyone on here to date if you categorize yourself as here for community. I saw an interesting TED Talk about internet dating. The speaker was a woman who handled it as though it was business. Very interesting. She immediately eliminated anyone without a photo, anyone who was not dependable and punctual, anyone who did not respond in a reasonable amount of time, etc. She put a check on the emotional aspect and eventually met her husband. That is what I suggest, I'm going to try her method and see how it works for me. Good luck to you.

The strangest things happen when you least expect them. Stay open.