I'm actually kind of surprised today; I thought the generation before mine in my family at least kind of knew me. I got two unrelated random messages from my uncle and mom today. My mom sent me a link to a website of Christian devotionals even though I've been very clear I'm atheist and have even said I'm just as likely to go back to Christianity and I am to convert to Islam or Scientology. And my uncle who likes to send me the lamest/least funny boomer memes you can imagine just sent me a cartoon with caricatures of black people on a plantation eating watermelon, thinking I'd find it funny. I just know some of you people could relate to having such clueless family. It's very hard to feel close to any of them as we are so different, and they don't even realize it. Everytime I talk to my uncle he goes on about how we are so alike but I don't get how he thinks that at all. He was a military recruiter who is conservative Christian and I went to art school for starters.
Keep calm and be you. I know it's an imcofortable family situation. I have the same issue with relatives who adopted to be in Catholics, Adventist, Mormons, Christians, Pentecostal and Jehovah's Witnesses. I love them but I stay miles away from them to keep my mental health in good shape.
Could also be a sign of declining mental faculties with age. Some people start to lose their 'theory of mind', the ability to see others as full individuals as opposed to extensions of themselves. It's part of the loss of mental flexibility that makes people more likely to be conservative as they get older.
Well my siblings and I used to take it in turns with my Dad -and by the time I was in my 20s he was fairly well cured of most of the more racistt things he'd been taught. We made it a point to expose him to our more colorful friends and he was the biggest supporter of any of my friends who were "different" by the time I was bringing them home from college. (So some people can be changed). (My older siblings all helped with this endeavor too).
Now your Uncle may be too old to change. And he probably realized after you replied that you were the wrong audience to appreciate that particular tidbit. He may have a few buddies who still do. (sigh). Who knows with the open racism in the country right now?
Your Mom however is probably all worried about your soul and such (You remember the make believe premises she functions from) so just be firm and reassure her you are fine as you are.
I know my Dad was worried "I'd need religion one day". And there was just no explaining to him that I was way better off without it. So we reached a sort of detente.
Good luck with your relatives. May they have other fine qualities!
When I was young , Mom and I went to Sunday school and church. Dad never did , and my brother stopped while still young . A few years later I stopped going as well . After we retired , I was surprised that one day , my brother ended an e-mail with a God bless you . I sent back , ,"Who are you , and what have you done with my brother . Turns out his wife was very religious , and he'd suddenly picked p on it . We laughed . It was the last time that came up .
Check out atheist experience on YouTube. Matt has an episode where he talks about getting a religious birthday card from his parents who know what he is. Not that there’s any earth shattering revelations there but you’ll see that you are not alone and sometimes that helps.
Families, what can you do? Yer can't kill em. You never know when you might need a kidney
My big brother used to argue with my racist dad all the time. Now I listen to him and my nephew, It sounds like the same record, only that my bro now sounds like my dad.
Yup. Very similar. My aunts pull that crap all the time. I hate the 'good ol' days' memes. Completely ignoring that everyone who wasn't a middle class white dude was likely suffering. I'm glad they loved their childhood and all, but anyone of color, and most of the happy little house wives were freakin miserable.
I feel you.
Still have a christmas card from my father and his wife (#4), buried under other stuff
on my desk. I opened it, saw who it was from, and that it was chock-full of religious bullshit, stuck it back in the envelope, tossed it aside, and haven't looked at it since.
My father knows I'm an atheist.
His wife is a holy roller.
Evidently, she wins.
Be whoever you want to be. Imagine white people sitting around eating watermelon without the plantation. Better yet, can we believe that the whites who owned the plantation never ate watermelon? I hate when people give me things like this as a stereotype.