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Be judgemental. I want thoughts on this scenario. An atheist, culturally Judaic friend of mine had 4 daughters. 1 committed suicide, one converted to Islam & moved to a Muslim country, one converted to Catholicism, one moved far away also. Passive aggressive?

Mooolah 8 July 20
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26 comments

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6

What are we supposed to judge?

good question!

6

Not necessarily. It isn't uncommon for daughters or even sons to grow up and move away. Changing religions isn't uncommon either. In my birth family 3 of us joined the military and lived all over. In my mom's birth family none stayed in Pawnee City. In my dad's birth family only one stayed nearby, though my dad stayed within 100 miles. To me actually it says they had such a healthy upbringing they felt comfortable branching out in other directions, finding their own path. My dad's birth family was not healthy, my childhood had moments of trauma. My dad stayed nearby and perpetuated that dysfunction. I stayed away to stop the dysfunction.

6

The atheist tag might not have any bearing on the actions of the children.
Although, it's not uncommon for children to do the exact opposite of their parents.
As far as the suicide goes, there is absolutely no way to determine if one parent's
atheism even factored into the state of mind of that child.

Too many details unknown to make any sort of judgment.
I can't give you what you seem to want.

I can't seem to give me what I want.

@Mooolah Yeah, there's a lot of that goin' around.
Welcome to the asylum. Enjoy your stay.
😉

5

there are thousands of families whose members go individual ways. what is unique here?

5

You can imagine the father praying and telling God this story, and God answering "You want to complain about YOUR kid!"

4

trying to be as judgemental as possible, I would say the scenario does not provide sufficient evidence or even background to be able to draw any conclusions

@MissKathleen the results were so dire and diverse, that I would not even venture to sumise anything, the status quo might or might not have been the direct cause, the scenario painted more or less places some blame on the father, but one never knows does one, there are too many variables that are still unknown at least for me to attempt to answer.

@MissKathleen exactly my point.

4

Far too flimsy a resume to conclude anything. I try not to be judgemental about other people’s families and parenting....we never know the full details. My own son who was an atheist recently committed suicide. My other son, raised the same way, as a freethinker, has joined the Church of England...his free choice to do so, he also lives in England which is across the Irish Sea and therefore quite a distance away. What exactly is your point in this post, and to what is the reference “passive/aggressive” meant to be construed?

4

Passive-aggressive? You? Either parent? The kids? Are you trying to assume that religion played a part in any of that? If so, maybe they were raised in a family that allowed them to explore all religions. There are all kinds of reasons for committing suicide and for moving away from your parents

lerlo Level 8 July 20, 2019

I’ve heard that about Judaism, that at it heart it encourages questioning and discussion. If so it’s not surprising the kids all found did answers since there’s nothing real for them all to find.

@JacobMeyers not sure why you're blaming any oven on Judaism

3

I would need much more information to be judgemental at all, but why would I want to. He probably already wonders himself what happened.

3

Perhaps they left because he sexually molested them? You gave no other details, so any answer is possible.

You're assuming the parent in question was the father.
We don't know that detail either.

@KKGator I assumed mother. Hmm

@JacobMeyers I went back and reread the post several times, just to be sure that I wasn't missing that particular clue.

@KKGator @JacobMeyers The are almost no clues, so the door is wide open to assume anything. So I just ran with it. I do not think this poster really wanted an answer, just a lot of comments and replies.

@creative51 Point well made.

2

Mental issues running in the family? Not really enough to go on.

2

Not enuf data.

2

My eldest daughter, now a JW, claims that I abused her because I didn't exposure her to the scriptures at a young age. She was about 16 and her sister 12 when I bought them a condensed version with cool pix. The Quick Bible for Christian on the run … I think as a staunch born and reborn atheist, I did my duty.
She became a christian when she was 17 and then metamorphosed/transmogrified into a JW a few years later.

2

how could we know? we don't know anything else about these people, what their relationships are, where they live, their ages, their generations, in what economic circumstances, within what community, being raised how, with what mental health issues if any applying to whom, living by what principles, attached to what political party if any, with what education, with what personal experiences not covered by the preceding (in other words, most of their life experiences). all we know is the religious background and current stance of the friend, not even the daughters' other parent. HOW could we POSSIBLY know? and on what do you based your loose speculation of passive aggression (and about whom are you speculating -- your friend, about whom we know so little we don't even know what pronoun to use?)

i am an atheist and culturally jewish. my parents were culturally jewish and not religious; i think my dad was an atheist or agnostic. neither my sister nor i became a muslim. neither of us killed ourselves. we moved away. most of our friends, from all kinds of backgrounds, also moved away. it's normal.

g

p.s. nothing you have described suggests passive aggression. it reminds me of a philosopher's joking question, and i thought it was bertrand russell but apparently it's not (all i can find is his barber paradox, which is different) and i don't remember it exactly, so i'll make up one LIKE it, and here goes: a man goes on a boat trip and meets two women. one has size eight shoes and the other carries an umbrella. it is four o'clock in the afternoon on a wednesday. what color is the captain's hair?

1

I will start researching for the parenting style, discipline methods, social - emotional needed, guidance of behavior, and parents - children interaction.

1

Religion divides everyone. That's why there are so many different kinds of religion. IF people want to be believers and one brand of religion does not suit them they will find another one that does.

1

It seems religion does not unite people as it claims.

1

Four individuals one with a permanent solution to a temporary problem.

1

I know a family, 4 children
One gay male, camp as tent city
One ladyboy, had boob job but still meat and tackle
One masculine lesbian daughter
One straight son with family

Honestly, the nicest family you will ever meet

powder Level 8 July 21, 2019

Lady boy is an offensive term.

@Theresa_N oh dear, would you prefer katoey? The family is Thai and Thai language says katoey.
If you want me to be PC and say gender fluid or some bollocks, you will be disappointed.
I was not being offensive, you took offence. I was using descriptive, common use language in a conservation praising diversity.

1

There was definitely a lot going on in the family.

1

They all are going to the same place in the long haul, one took a short cut.

1

And the moral of the story?

There is no end to this story. What happened to the family, where do they end up doing? Which daughter do they favour if any.

0

Sounds like there were other issues going on at home and with the family than just religion or the lack of it. It sounds like all the children were seeking some form of escape and/or family/community that they didn't find at home. But as others have written, without knowing more about the family history, it's impossible to conclude anything with any certainty.

I can only speak from my own experience. I was raised in a very toxic household by a deeply repressed conservative xstian mother who was also racist and homophobic. She had untreated borderline personality disorder and dry drunk behavior, which contributed in a big way to the toxicity. Observing how she'd used her religious beliefs to repress an important part of who she was, as well as attempt to control others around her was largely what lead to my atheism. I moved away from my hometown and severely limited my contact with her as soon as I was able. I thought about cutting off all contact many times, but ultimately made the choice not to. ...All of which is to say, there were reasons for my choices in a different philosophy and in distancing myself from my family. And I assume there are reasons for why this person's children did the same. Without knowing more about the family history, though, it's impossible to to know what those reasons are.

0

Gosh I do not know what to make of that family? Could have been some passed down genetics or behaviorals! They sure wanted to get ‘far’ away from their original origins!

0

Will you supply the rocks for the lapidation?

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