Agnostic.com

43 7

How did you deal with the empty nest syndrome? I have mixed feelings. I'm happy to see my gronw up children's success and beginning a new life as independent adults. But at the same time as a single mother I'm feeling the grief of the empty nest.

Cecilia2018 7 July 28
Share

Enjoy being online again!

Welcome to the community of good people who base their values on evidence and appreciate civil discourse - the social network you will enjoy.

Create your free account

43 comments

Feel free to reply to any comment by clicking the "Reply" button.

7

I'm planning a new nest to coincide with them emptying this one. As they continue their journey so I will continue mine. My life begins anew just as theirs does. As they grow and strive to be independent of me I must take steps to be somewhat independent of them. I don't want to have time to look around my empty nest.

And if I make myself and my life interesting to me and I remain progressive and happy than I expect they will be keen on sharing my new nest with me as often as they can. Because really.. once the nest is empty and they have flown.. it is up to the adult them to choose their time with me.

Davekp Level 8 July 28, 2019

Perfectly said...

6

I became a empty nester some time ago. There is an adjustment that you will go through. It is amazing the amount of time that is spent around your children and then there is a sudden vacuum. There are simply stages that you go through and it will be fine, but it feels strange and "unnatural". I really enjoy my life, post kids. Now, it is about you, not the role as mom. It is ok to feel, however.you feel.

6

How did I cope? I went on vacation, I stopped working myself to death, I read books, lots and lots of books. I had a social life, etc., etc., etc. I felt a whole lot of things ... grief was not one of those things.

6

WE got a dog. That one has passed away, so we got another dog. We do better when we have an animal to care for.

5

I did some of the things I put off because I was too busy raising my son. There are some hobbies I've always loved that I began to give more time too. I also traveled more and went to see friends and family I hadn't seen in awhile.

The problem I had the most with was feeling guilty giving time to myself. It took me some time to get over that hump, but it went away.

5

Get out and do the stuff you dreamed of - spend their inheritance and die a smiling, worn out penniless woman

This is exactly what I told my parents and then my dad once he got over my mom passing away. Once he retired (early 2000's) he bought a sailboat and had traveled all up & down the US east coast, met tons of people and has a blast. His current GF is not doing well so the sailboat is sitting but hopefully he will one day get back out there.

@Heidi68 maybe you should learn to handle that boat

@Heidi68 😄 I didn’t recognize the new picture! I hadn’t seen any posts show up from you for a while Heidi68.

@ShadowAmicus if I had more time to spend on the coast with him I definitely would! Keep hoping we will get to go out for a few hours when we are both on the coast but one of us is usually taking care of his GF....

@ShadowAmicus, @Barnie2years that's odd I am always posting stuff. Mostly in photography, gardening, just for laughs & tRump pinata.

Excellent response.

@Heidi68, I don’t know what’s up. I follow a lot of people, but I go days sometimes without any alerts showing up. Then I will get a whole bunch at one time, the nothing again for days. Not sure if is the site or something I am doing.

5

Lots of my friends who are a similar age to me, and my sister, are going through this at the moment - I never had children (I wish I had, but c'est la vie) so I'm not having to deal with it, but based on their experiences you have two options: 1. Have wild parties every week and/or 2. Get a lot of cats.

Jnei Level 8 July 28, 2019

I would venture to guess that there are more than those two options! 😄

4

I acted like someone had left the gate open- finally, I could head overseas.
When my daughter left for college I flew off to teach in Hermosillo, Mexico for a semester, and after my parents passed on. I moved to Thailand and taught there 2010 until last year.

4

As a single mother it must be difficult, I tend to chat about stuff with my husband. We both have mixed feelings, I love seeing them be so independent and watching other people relate to my 'babies' as real grown ups. I don't feel grief, just a little wistful. Funnily enough, I grew up in a family of seven children, and miss the buzz of having the kids around (I have three) but my husband who is an only child, blesses the peace and quiet !

Tilia Level 7 July 28, 2019
4

I’ll never be so fortunate as to have such a problem.

skado Level 9 July 28, 2019

Me too

@Heidi68

❤️

3

I remember that grief, but knowing my kids were experiencing life on their own, independent of me, eased that grief. I am glad my kids didn't experience any separation pain, and were happy to get on to the life they had been preparing for. I was married at the time, but I might as well been alone.

Now that I am alone, I enjoy it. I'm glad my kids don't need me much, but they know I'm here if they ever do. Happy to get back to being me, not defined so much as my kids' mom, but me as me. 🙂

3

My son just moved out last Monday. So I'm at the end of my 1st week of being alone. I am very happy for him and want the best for him. I will always be there for him. I am alone, but am not lonely. I hope the same for you.

xyz123 Level 7 July 28, 2019
3

A few hot lovers can fill your emptiness perfectly!

zesty Level 7 July 28, 2019

@maturin1919 Meaning? Don't be shy!

3

I joined a free thought group and now have lots of adult friends! Both my kids are on the west coast. Thank goodness for air travel!

3

Very close to my sons we live 2 1/2 hours apart but call weekly text or Facebook they visit several times a year I live alone but cope

bobwjr Level 10 July 28, 2019

As do I....we learn to adapt.

3

Go out and do some volunteering or something else to fill your emptiness! It doesn’t last long, and with mobile phones and tablets they are only a FaceTime away from seeing them. When mine went off to university In England during the 90s I gave them phonecards to use in Public phone-boxes to phone home...the calls were few and far between, even so! Mobile phones were like large bricks in these days and way too expensive for most people to buy.

2

It lasted a few weeks,then various grandchildren started moving in again. Now I am happy living with my hippie grandson ( we are of one mind) and babysitting a granddaughter and great grand daughter once in a while. Se my newest profile picture.

2

Had no problem with it at all when they FINALY left. Didnt last long though as er ended up with a batch of grandkids. For another 14 years. The only nly habit I can't get rid of is the Inclination to cook for 6 instead of 2. But then that guarantees there is nearly always a few frozen dinners in the freezer when I don't feel like cooking.

2

I call it Chihuahua Therapy.

2

I experienced it once. I was horrible at it, and my dog learned the English language a bit better. She often looked at me like I needed to put a plug in my face hole..."STFU, Mom!"

Then...... they came back.
My youngest kids came back - one from Job Corp, one from a nasty breakup that left him broke and nearly homeless.

Then my middle child and HER family came.... they had to leave Florida, or I'd lose her to the infestation of drugs that line the streets of Jacksonville.

Moral? THEY'RE ALWAYS GOING TO COME BACK. I sucked at empty nesting.... be very careful about what you wish for....IF you're wishing you had them around, again.

2

I was ready and have enjoyed the hell out of it!

2

I had no problems; it was time for my sons to leave the nest. They came back a couple of times and when they left after those times, I was glad to have my house back. One lives six minutes away from me and though I love him and his family dearly (especially the grandkids), they have their lives and I have mine.

2

Seems to me from your pictures you are doing everything right: taking on home projects, some travel, taking care of yourself. If you are not used to doing things alone, join a group of fun people who like to do the things you do. The kids will always be there and I’ve found, often need you, for advise, a shoulder to cry on, someone to celebrate with. Enjoy the time they give you, but enjoy your freedom as well.

2

I never stopped doing what I was doing. I still hold 2 jobs, and still go to the gym. True, I love and miss them every day, but we keep in touch, and look forward when we get together.

2

Considering that daycare costs about as much as a second mortgage, why not fill up the nest with grandbabies, if you have any?

No grandbabies at this time. They are focus in their careers.

Worked all my life. Took care of my parents and childten. Now it is MY time. Viva hedonism!

Write Comment
You can include a link to this post in your posts and comments by including the text q:380229
Agnostic does not evaluate or guarantee the accuracy of any content. Read full disclaimer.