Why did your marriage fail?
The short story: My ex was a binge drinker.
The long story: A few times a year he would drink to the point of puking (on various surfaces) and blacking out. Once passed out right in front of the toilet. That's when my pity for his drinking problem stopped. I asked him to get help and he never did. 3 years before our divorce, he went out drinking and never came home. I got a call at 730 am that he was in county jail he had a BAL of 0.20 and he said he barely felt that drunk. I paid his $1000 bail. He also had a few suicide gestures, with his handgun. The last time I had to talk him down from the edge, it gave me PTSD, because I told him that the next time he did that I would have to call 911, so I grabbed the phone and told him I was going to call. He told me he could pull the trigger before they ever got there.
Our kids were sleeping upstairs.
I froze for about a minute, and then told him if that's what he felt he needed to do, that he needed to take it somewhere else because our children were sleeping upstairs.
He snapped out of it, but left the house for about an hour.
The next day I turned him into his church (at that time he was working the sound board of his church for about a year) and told them I couldn't deal with this problem anymore and could they help. They did.
After that, I got into therapy and al-anon and adult children of alcoholics. Two years later, we divorced. It was probably the best thing for both of us, because then he, too went into ACA. No, not AA because he didn't want to give up the drinking. But at least he's getting some kind of help.
Not officially married but commited to a monogamous live together relationship for 15 years. Failed because I asked him to stop sucking me financially dry. I suddenly became the bitchy one, do your share, be responsible. Thank goodness I did not legally marry him, he'd run up $13,000 in credit card debt I knew nothing about. Missed the sex but not the stress of the failing relationship.LOL
I woke up one day and realized he's a misogynistic, controlling, narssistic sociopath who had been cheating on me for months... The day after I confronted him with the truth, he walked out on his family. Of course he called me crazy and every name other than my own... Moved in with his whore of a mistress... To think it took me 10 years of wasting my life to finally get my life back...
We weren't in love and never should have married. She wanted to marry me because all her friends were getting married, I was successful and she wanted to stop working. We married on the condition we never had kids. She begged me to have kids after 5 years. She never loved them either, they were just a means of keeping her claws in me. Eventually kids and I left.
I married her because I had not dated much, had no idea what I was doing, was very immature and young. I had just turned 20 when it was all organised, she was a few years older.
Lots of reasons, mostly bad reasons for getting married, a partner who though only one of us had to make any effort and then the final straw was that she believed god gave her a hug and held her and and she could no longer be with the atheist she married. That and she was not a happy person who thought, and I though, I could make her happy. You can't make other people happy, that was my big take away.
She was and is stuck: emotionally, physically, financially, sexually and job-wise. Too many years of trying/waiting for her to get her unstuck. If I was in my 20's or even 30's I might wait around to see if she can make some progress. I'm 55 and too old for this shit.
My marriage failed because I was reared fundamentalist Southern Baptist and couldn't accept my sexual orientation, gay, until my 40s. Annnd she is truly 'cuckoo for cocoa puffs'. She's #MessianicJewish now after Methodism, Baptist, Presbyterian etc. 3 of our 4 children will have nothing to do with her. They've been seriously hurt by her religion(s).