Reality sucks, especially when you are the only one dealing with it. Aren't you glad this group is here for you?

I must be lucky, or unusual at the least.

My parents never went to church. I am not sure if they even had "beliefs" The subject never came up. Neither had burial "ceremonies".

My first wife did not attend any church. The subject of religion never came up. My second wife was not religious but her parents mentioned that they were Presbyterian. We never attended any religious gatherings. We did not celebrate religious holidays. When we gave gifts it was random, found this thought you might enjoy it, catch. No xmas presents, trees, or do dads of any kind.

As I age, religion is one of the furthest things on my mind.

Well i think you just have to let them believe in what they think is right for them.

The genie is out of the bottle. Not much you and I now other than be true to yourself!

Educate them, ask them to watch Zeitgeist with you, and a few hundred other documentaries. Ask them to read "Atheists for Dummies." Truly a good guide. Yeah, I used to believe also, I taught buybull studies and was very active in my church. I came fully out of the closet after my divorce, and my kids grew up as skeptics if not outright atheists. Their dad is still a devout uber conservative xian. The kids and dad all live within 20 miles of me. The kids like to do "family" celebrations, so on holidays and birthdays, and sometimes more often dad and I are together, we're amicable. Occasionally it get heated.... He always falls back on the "I'll pray for you" canned answer. Our middle daughter (age 31) just came out and plans to start dating women, he dad is not happy, but praying for her. (Eye roll) Give the family time, it is an adjustment, and just keep loving them. Always, always be willing to listen. Stress the parts that you agree with them, and urge them to explore the differences.

Just try to tell your wife and children that it’s a personal decision which you have made after careful thought, and that you wish them to respect this. They are still free to believe in god, it doesn’t change anything as far as they are concerned, but that you must be allowed to follow your own path as a nonbeliever. You are still the same father and husband, the only change is that you no longer believe in god...in everyday terms of family life, that shouldn’t change anything except absence from churchgoing on a Sunday...no real big deal, you are not stopping them from going. A heart to heart talk with them is needed and they must be encouraged to think about what they really believe is important to them, a happy family where each person is allowed to follow their own beliefs after careful thought, or an unhappy one where individual thought is suppressed and all must be expected to think the same.

When I left Moronism, my wife took the children and disappeared. My brother has cut off all communication with me. I have a sister, though, who read my web pages which detailed why I left religion, and she left it, too. So I have a sister who still accepts me.

1. people change, so the fact that you are not a believer do not change the past that you were a true believer.
   With Christianity this is difficult because according to the bible a real true believer will never deviate thus you were not a true believer. This is the fallacy of the true Scotsman (Google it to better understand) that wipe out failures of some ideology by saying that whoever fails is not a true follower and thus keeping the ideology perfect.

2. As people changed, you changed, and Atheism/agnosticism is not really an option, that if you could believe life would be a lot easier to you, and even pretend to believe would be easier, but you are choosing to be true with them instead of pretending.

Yes! My wife cannot stand the way I think about it now. She makes pointed comments in front of the kids...its really frustrating, man. No lie. I came out to her a few months ago, so it's still pretty fresh. I think it's just going to take time, but who knows? Everyone is different. We have 3 kids, so that's a challenge I understand, though my oldest is 10 and he doesnt care very much. I will gladly swap stories to help get through it, cause it suuuuuucks. Lol

i've never been christian so i can't help you with my experiences, which are quite different, and yet i have a suggestion, if that's okay

sit down with your wife and say something like this, but in your own words:

"i did not knowingly mislead you. i really believed what i told you when i brought you into the belief system you're in now. my eyes have been opened and i feel terrible that i, in innocence and ignorance, pulled the curtains over yours. my only excuse is that they were over mine too and i thought i was giving you a gift, not realizing what a terrible gift it was. if you still love me and trust me the way you did when i accidentally led you astray, will you let me prove my love for you by leading you back to the truth? it won't be easy, and it will feel like a terrible shock, but i hope you still love and trust me and will let your eyes be opened too."

i hope that helps.

g

Quick comment
My situation is similar in some ways. I'm heading through a divorce right now based on those simiarities and other issues. As when we were Christian's they warned against being unequally yoked. I believe the same philosophy applies to marriages. Some can hold the marriage together if their spouse is not a fundamentalist an does not harbor ill will toward you

Welcome to the asylum. Enjoy your stay.

No, however you don't have to "do" anything, just live your life and don't push the issue. Be nice, be firm, don't fight and smile. Tell them that if they believe that is ok but you don't.