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I am curious as to whether other women find the following passages (taken verbatim from a message to me) as offensive as I do:

"there are millions of single lonely lazy selfish women who only want a local guy the fact of the matter is my dear that there are not enough single available willing men to meet all the needs of the single women "

First, if there are "millions" of lonely, lazy, selfish women, then the women who are not these negative adjectives are the minority. This is insulting to all women.

Second, the "not enough single available willing men" is a veiled threat/warning: better get what you can when you can because, lady, because we single/available/willing men are few. This is like the men who have told me that I am "not a spring chicken" any longer and need to settle or I will wind up old and alone.

I am already old and alone--by choice.

Third, what needs can a scruffy looking old man fill that I cannot fill for myself?

He also stated that he is a “man of means and ability and focus and I am not what I deem a lazy selfish individual.” If so, then why the heck does he say on his profile that he wants to find a “homeowner”? Dude, buy your own home.

I am not sure if this guy is a scammer on one level or another or is just delusional, but he needs to learn a couple of lessons. One is that when a woman says “no” to his first advance, leave her alone. Second, confident women do not succumb to scare tactics.

Oh, and since he says on his profile, NO “Prez” Trump haters, he needs to be more circumspect in evaluating the women whom he contacts.

Also, guys, would you say these things to a woman?

Gwendolyn2018 9 Nov 4
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32 comments

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0

I have not gotten that kind of threat per se but I have gotten the you aren't getting any younger once you are in your mid to late 30s you will have less options.... as if women have some damn expiration date which is in our 30s... also those types of guys that generalize all or millions of women are typically sexist/misogynistic anyways and you better "know your place" with them... HUGE bullet dodged!

@Gwendolyn2018 My mother once told me that "Women need men like a fish needs a bicycle."

7

In Austen's "Pride and Prejudice," Mr. Collins, a buffoon of a man, counters Elizabeth Bennet's refusal of his marriage proposal by saying, "You must give me leave to flatter myself, my dear cousin, that your refusal of my addresses is merely words of course. My reasons for believing it are briefly these: -- It does not appear to me that my hand is unworthy your acceptance, or that the establishment I can offer would be any other than highly desirable. My situation in life, my connections with the family of De Bourgh, and my relationship to your own, are circumstances highly in its favor; and you should take it into farther consideration that in spite of your manifold attractions, it is by no means certain that another offer of marriage may ever be made you."

In other words, only a buffoon would expect a woman to be desperate enough to accept him based upon an imagined fear of never being asked by someone better in the future. Such a buffoon has less than nothing to offer. Even 250 years ago, when women were forced to rely on men for the very roof over their heads, it was understood that being lonely and impoverished was better than being stuck with a jerk. In this day of technology, when a vibrator can be re-charged via a USB port, the argument holds even less substance. 😉

Deb57 Level 8 Nov 4, 2019

The greatest of arrogance delivered in the most wonderful prose!

Thanks for "classing" the joint up.

5

Super offensive! And also laughable. Really, tell him he is an asshole, report him and then block.

@Gwendolyn2018 I would rather be alone then have that in my life. I mean really?

5

Don't waste your time even thinking about him.

4

Loneliness is a profound emotion that can drive weak men to pettiness and bullying tactics

Yeah, that's not any kind of an excuse.

@KKGator didn't say it was. It's an explanation.

Very true. But perhaps they are lonely because they are assholes?

@GreatNani ha perhaps! Good point

@GreatNani Then that's on them, isn't it? It's still not an excuse for being an even bigger asshole.

@Gwendolyn2018 very good question. I noticed in my life women tend to end up with aggressive and abusive men while the introverted creative types end up alone and bitter haha

4

Typical trumper, arrogant,self centered douche bag , unfortunate consequence of where you live . So sorry you were put through that Bullshit . I would never say anything that totally repugnant to a woman

@Gwendolyn2018 thank you sweety

@Gwendolyn2018 me too

4

He is a piece of crap. Good for you, you don't need someone like that and in my experience, guys like that are controlling and abusive. There are so many great guys out there and he gives everyone a bad name. I have been pursued more than once, not because they wanted me but rather my farm. One was so blatant about it my brother noticed within 45 minutes of meeting him and decided to warn me. I told him flat out I already had figured this out. Let him try, which he did and he got nothing. He flat out demanded to have his name put on the deed. I flat out told him not happening. I don't need a man that bad in my life. I have wonderful male friends who help me out when I need it.

@Gwendolyn2018 Exactly, a gigilo. You are a gorgeous intelligent woman. You don't have to settle for anything less than a perfect for you match.

4

The fact that he is a Trumper says volumes about his attitude towards women......

4

Personally, I think he sounds like one of those incel assholes.
Pissed off at all women because they can't get any to have sex with them.
They think they have some sort of "right" to have a woman do whatever they
want, and if they're rejected, it's because of faults the woman has, and not their own.

@Gwendolyn2018 Good for you! Bet he didn't like hearing that.
While I know that I am the common denominator in all my past relationships,
I also know what I want and don't want.
What I don't want now is some guy's bullshit.

3

He's a trump supporter.. Of course he's offensive... Block him...

2

Feel free to PM the name to me - I'll see if I can get him on the photo. He might just be some hapless guy trying out negging....

2

Without wasting a lot of time, the “no Prez Trump haters” pretty much explains everything else.

2

I would say that his dating strategy sucks. Whether he actually is or not, his response does make it seem as if he is part of the He Man Women Bashing club.

I will admit that this is perhaps my own male bias, but I have seen females on dating sites mentioned qualities that a perspective suitor must have. These include being over 6 ft, making six figures and more than 6 inches in the nether regions.

I would also admit that all the responses so far seems to be directed towards this specific guy and not bashing men in general. However, I simply wanted to point out that in the online dating world, there are assholes on both sides.

@Deiter that is not a solution either sadly.... I used to have very specific and detailed profile... but if 1 out of 100 guys read it before messaging me, what good was it really? XD

2

I found his comment laughable and yet sad. Funny because he hasn't tried to elevate himself above an uneducated Trumpanzee level which makes for a fun read, and sad because his momma perpetuated the idea that women are to be used and devalued.

2

Wow!

That is so hilarious!

Try being on the male side receiving comments from females!

At our age everything can be an unveil threat period!

When you put your self out there you are going to get those who are so manipulative, authoritarian, and condescending without regret!

I get from these so called Christian ladies:
We are not a good fit.
We have nothing in common.
Why are you so hostile towards women.
You are not educated enough.
Your beliefs are not within the cultural norms.
You must be a leftist tool or fool.
If you liberal you do not deserve to vote or live in this country!
You do not make enough money to support me!
You shop at walmart.
You drive a twenty year old car. (Does not matter it is BMW in almost perfect shape and running condition)!
Are you actually capable of love?
I am allergic to cats.
I hate cats.
You do not own your own home.
You are not aware of my needs.

Those are a few of the nices responses I have received!

Too many are so full of themselves!

It is just easier to become alone as we age rather than than be considered some sort of chattel by some one else!

The world is full of moronic idiots!

The key is to avoid them or just ignore them from afar if you can!!!

2

No, and I had a large number of descriptive words come to mind upon reading your post. 😉
What an conceded Ahole. 🤮

@oldFloyd

Did you mean "conceited"? He didn't "concede" anything (to acknowledge, yield, or admit defeat).

@LiterateHiker Oops using Speech-to-Text forgot to proof read.🙄

2

I’ve never used insults like “lonely, lazy, selfish” when approaching a woman online, or IRL. Why would I? It’s mean. And I can’t imagine who would respond positively to me after that introduction.

@Gwendolyn2018 I’ve received my share of “not interested” responses to my initial inquiries. Even if I’m disappointed at their lack of interest, at least they were courteous to reply; many inquiries get no response at all. So when I get a “not interested”, response I thank them for replying and wish them well.

@Gwendolyn2018 I don’t understand why men get aggressive or tell lies on dating sites. It’s like they’re in a bad marriage or suffering some trauma, and playing out their issues with virtual women.

2

Dude is a turd. Did you give him the boot (block him?).

2

This is why I stopped looking. I keep getting these paternalistic assholes 🤬who think they know better than me and should be able to tell me what to do because I am a little old woman with no options. 😂. If I point out I do indeed have options then I am an uppity bitch who should know her place as a second class citizen to men. 🤡. Men! Keep ‘em! I am going to get me a robot who can do the only things I ever needed men to do like heavy lifting and get on with my life.

2

Agreed

1

Ah, a self-described "nice guy" who seems to be (badly) attempting negging. And guys like that can't seem to understand why they can't get laid.

@Gwendolyn2018 Yeah, but what can we do with ourselves?

1

It sounds like this guy was repeating themes he heard elsewhere. He certainly wasn't addressing you personally.

1

A waste of your time to even bother reading it ! His loss surely.

@Gwendolyn2018 ...can dish it out - but he can't take it. Jerk.

1

Pussygrabber.....single lazy lonely boy never learned what a real man is nor the fact only women decide .....he can't see the pattern of his own failure as a person....male entitlement personified AND REJECTED ....he will pay giant amounts of his TrumpOLINI money for one night of "sex" desperate and stupid.... love is free with respectful intelligent people

1

I have blocked dozens of bad boys like him ....if I meet his ilk anywhere I ask them one question: is your mom sister or daughter deserving of your rapist ideas in action ?

1

I would read that and run far, and fast, and away. He sounds like an entitled moocher who is looking to live off your resources.

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