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Why is it that if you argue or defend a topic/issue passionately, you must be directly effected by it? Are people so apathetic and self-centered they cannot care about issues beyond themselves? For example, when I passionately argue pro-choice there are idiots that assume I have had an abortion. When I argue in favour of Black Lives Matter or point out systemic racism, I must secretly be a POC myself... when I argue in favour of LGTBQ+ community I must secretly be gay, trans or queer. And recently, on this site, to be against revenge porn, I must have taken so many shameful nudes that are flying around the internet as we speak. heh. Why are people so goddam selfish that they cannot care about demographics of people they do not identify with or belong to? What's with this apathy and decreased empathy going on? :/

demifeministgal 8 Nov 5
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52 comments

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1

Small minds, small minds.

11

We usually call those people republicans.

Your empathy does you credit. It suggests you're probably a genuinely nice person.

🙂

10

I usually point out that I also support animal rights, but I'm not a rabbit.

Jnei Level 8 Nov 5, 2019
7

Many people lack empathy. The ability to think outside our own self interest is difficult. Very sad.

Good definition of empathy Nani. It's very bad out there. I keep hoping that we've hit bottom, but we don't seem to have

7

I think we are tribal by nature being social animals. We feel safe in tribes. Therefore, anyone challenging our tribal roles are seen/labeled as outsiders and we tend to lash out at them. The advent of social media allows this tendency to occur en masse. This is both a pro and con of social media. It allows people to come together collectively for a cause, but it can also lead to tunnel vision, in which you stick only to your tribe and become dismissive of anything that is not associated with it.

I fear this is one of the main reasons, but it’s something we are moving beyond I think/ hope. There’s certainly nothing like a shared enemy to bring people together. Perhaps the shared goal of keeping the climate stable enough to live in will help us?

@girlwithsmiles

At this current time, it seems as if this problem is still very rampant in our society. Examples of this are CNN VS FOX, Left vs Right, and the issues mentioned in the initial post.

There are people trying to have dialectics about these issues, so there is hope. However, they are often quitted via ad hominem attacks.

Another cause for hope is that social media is relatively new and perhaps some of its negative aspects are a result of growing pains, and we will get pass them

While I agree common enemies bring people together, I am not sure if climate change will be the unifying force because it has become a left vs right issue.

@Stoic247 oh, that’s a shame. I’m not sure if it’s so left versus right here. But the status quo has been fossil fuels for so long I think the right 🥳 may be preserving business opportunities that many think outmoded now, and fracking is certainly a decisive issue too.
Yes I’ve heard some studies say that we’re coming out of our expected groups online, I learn a lot online.

6

Who cares what “they” think...?
Perhaps they are playing devils advocate just to make you consider all sides or perhaps that lack empathy and/or kindness for our fellow humankind.

Ultimately your answer is the same as to why we had to have the conversation in the first place.
Ignorance

Keep fighting for what you believe is right and try and ignore “them.”

I think of this often-

“A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds, adored by little statesmen and philosophers and divines. With consistency a great soul has simply nothing to do. He may as well concern himself with his shadow on the wall. Speak what you think now in hard words, and to-morrow speak what to-morrow thinks in hard words again, though it contradict every thing you said to-day. — 'Ah, so you shall be sure to be misunderstood.' — Is it so bad, then, to be misunderstood? Pythagoras was misunderstood, and Socrates, and Jesus, and Luther, and Copernicus, and Galileo, and Newton, and every pure and wise spirit that ever took flesh. To be great is to be misunderstood.”

-Ralph

Well his quote is a bit diminished for me since there is no contemporary evidence of a jesus and so he most likely never actually took flesh/was real. I do not think so. You can tell if someone is playing devil's advocate... these are usually people that have opposite beliefs than me and assume the only reason I think/believe as I do is because I must be part of the demographic I am defending... actually it is projection on their part.

@demifeministgal
You all are silly
Worked up about words on a platform that doesn’t exist
Why waste the adrenaline

@darthfaja Why bother to respond on that premise!

@darthfaja I am not wasting anything... in fact for me to process my feelings it helps to vent or rant or get it out in the open... research has shown bottling up or shoving down emotions is NOT healthy and can lead to a breakdown down the line. So you do you mr stoic man. XD

@demifeministgal
K

6

"What's with this apathy and decreased empathy going on?"
I don't think its decreased, or become more pronounced. I think you have become more socially aware, and that allow you to notice how it has always been.
OR your previous life experience has somehow been in a rather nice bubble which got popped.

Humans can really only care deeply about 125 people deep, if it gets too removed from our personal experience, it is much harder for them to empathize. Empathy is not only a human trait, it can be exercised and improved.

So congrats on your well developed sense of Empathy, but I fear you will be disappointed that not a whole lot of humans, en masse, develop their own that way.

No my bubble is filled with the so-called "loving Christian" bigots.. but I expect that from religious nutters... but I am not used to experiencing this same mentality from agnostics or atheists... I expect BETTER of this community, not less. Perhaps I need to lower my expectations. :/

@demifeministgal "but I am not used to experiencing this same mentality from agnostics or atheists... I expect BETTER of this community"

Why?
Are we no less human and therefore subject to all those failings?

Because someone is a non believer does not make them a critical or deep thinker, does not make them skeptical on all topics, and even if we try to be, we will have blind spots, part and parcel of the human condition.

Hope for a better humanity, don't bank on it.
(Is it not interesting that the term "Bank on it" exists as an expression of trust, when Banks have been very untrustworty throughout history?)

@Davesnothere @Davesnothere Because the atheists/agnostics I encounter or have heard about are intelligent or academics and so I guess I extrapolated that to all atheists/agnostics. 😳

@demifeministgal It would be nice for the world to be populated by critical thinkers, but a quick look at history does not reveal that.
Some of us are . . .

6

Welcome to the internet world.

It is too easy to speak before engaging the brain for consultation.

yes, venting works....

5

I am passionate about several issues for the good of humanity, though they don't affect me personally. I won't list them here, but suffice it to say they are controversial. Many are about choices, for goodness sakes, and even though I might not be in a position to need to make these choices, I believe the choices should be available.

To ban the choices I'm passionate about seem to be anti-humanity from my view, and to allow the choices wouldn't hurt the people wishing to disallow the choices at all, so it's puzzling. I feel they have formed their opinions by propaganda and misinformation presented to them with an agenda in mind, rather than the full big picture showing all sides of the controversy.

5

Some people who respond to your posts are losers....

5

It’s part of the pattern “if you don’t have the facts on your side attack the messenger”. To see pros in action with this pattern look at the senate on climate change, fiscal integrity, and any of DJT antics.

5

We live in a world of social media. Apathy, hatred are not new, just we have new tools to see it easier and more overtly. Fight the good fight as best you can but do not waste time on ideologues.

5

I often think that there are simply many people who aren't very smart. Perhaps they don't have a lot of empathy ... I don't know. And I guess there are people with pretty decent I.Q.'s who don't bother to use them as often as perhaps they should.

5

A lot of folks have broken Empathy buttons apparently....

4

You don't have to be, having a conscience and caring about others is normal

4

You raise a very good point. A common position of empathy and an attempt at understanding the ‘other’s’ position is at the heart of being human I would suggest.

Striving for the unattainable brings resentment and disregard for others. See Merton’s ‘Strain Theory’

It’s a sad state, but at the core I suggest is personal dissatisfaction, and the need to criticise and subjugate others, due to personal resentment.

Moral entrepreneurialism is a classic vehicle for the middle class religious and politically indoctrinated..

I will have to look up strain theory... what do you mean by moral entrepreneurialism? 😕

@demifeministgal Moral entrepreneurialism is when a, usually middle class, group take it upon themselves to be the moral adjudicator for a social position such as fundamental Christian position on abortion or white supremicist stance on immigration.

It is a group attempting to force behaviour from their moral standpoint rather than legal.

ooh wow it's a sociological concept... how have I never heard of it?! Darn... thanks for the info 😀

@demifeministgal Not a problem.!

3

It’s the conservative position to only care about things that directly impact yourself.

While it's arguable they may do it better, this is a distinctly human problem.

The most consistently self-serving people I know are conservatives.

@GomezSpock everyone has blind spots. But the conservative position is distinctly lacking in empathy. Liberals are trying (however imperfectly) to make the world better for everyone. Conservatives are working to make the world better for themselves, and people like themselves, even if it’s at the expense of others.

3

Nonbelievers are not immune to being jackasses

3

Well, part of the blame is on you. If you had not taken those nude pictures and given them away none of this would have happenedz

You're really stupid.. She said she didn't distribute any nude pics of herself.

@indirect76 well I got the joke anyway

@Cutiebeauty You obviously have no understanding of sarcasm, nor irony. This is major problem with the "progressives." NO SENSE OF HUMOR.

So, thank you for the example.

@Jacar you obviously see examples of your crap everywhere...

well then according to your own logic I am blameless here since I have never taken a nude in my life.... try again?

@Jacar blah blah blah blah blah

3

Nothing shameful about nudes. . . . And, you are generally correct. The "progressives" are just as bad as the rightees in the assumptions as you have described.

WTF is with you and your constant circle back to "progressives"? Who denied you communion at the church?

When you offer something to the discussion, perhaps people will take you a tad more seriously.

3

I wish I knew. Some people are so certain that their beliefs are correct and anything suggesting otherwise is wrong. It's mindboggling how they can be so sure when the majority of them have actually experienced so little.

3

We are empaths. We are touched and saddened by the pain and suffering of others. I have had others tell me since I was a little girl that I was always the champion for the underdog. I take that as a great compliment. It just is something born in me, like you.

3

I understand what you're saying, and I agree.
One need not be effected by an issue to support those who are.
A lot of people are ignorant of their place in the world, and how everyone
else's is often intertwined with it. Even if you will never need a choice, someone
you love just might. Even if you aren't a person of color, or a member of the
LGBTQ community, their rights are the SAME as your own.

With the exception of the nude pics.
Like I said in that thread, no one should ever share them without permission, EVER!
If they do, there should be consequences for doing that. It's despicable.
However, anyone who takes them should always know, BEFORE they do it, and definitely BEFORE they share them with ANYONE, that they absolutely run the
risk of them being shared without permission.

3

Your post assumes a false premise. Most rational people are capable of enthusiastic support of a cause which does not directly impact themselves.

So then the ones that cannot provide enthusiastic support of causes are not rational then? okay.

2

I make a point of arguing issues that don't affect me directly. I think it's important to do that, because so many people are cynical as you illustrate above. People need to see some altruism to help them understand why someone else's problems deserve attention.

2

As it is for most animals, it is an inherent human function to quickly categorize, generalize, and label things. It is helpful, from a survival standpoint, to rapidly identify threats or rule out non-threats. This evolutionary function frequently miscalculates in the absence of strong critical thinking skills. Our world grows ever more complex, requiring people to broaden their intake in order to keep up with emerging information. Some people do it well, some don't, and for a myriad of reasons best discussed another time.

Some people are compelled to project, or to make rash assumptions guided by suspicion. That's the miscalculation bit. Biases are notoriously hard to penetrate.

Our 1st world societies tend to nurture black & white perspectives in order to promote the simplification of everyday challenges. Our cultural analogies, i.e. our myths and fairy tales, are often very right vs. wrong oriented. Politicians rely on this. One hopes people can "outgrow" over-simplified perspective through maturity and education, but it still permeates throughout all cultural communication methods. Such as forums like this.

It does seem to be getting worse, here, though. I'll give you that.

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