Agnostic.com

65 10

Why are men so afraid of meeting face to face on online dating? I hate endless texting. I want real conversation. If there’s no chemistry just make it a one and done meeting.

Dba1955 4 Mar 29
Share

Enjoy being online again!

Welcome to the community of good people who base their values on evidence and appreciate civil discourse - the social network you will enjoy.

Create your free account

65 comments (26 - 50)

Feel free to reply to any comment by clicking the "Reply" button.

2

I agree however I only hear from men long distance. I did a visit cross country two months ago now and discovered we were not compatible. I'm texting with someone now - can't wait to move to the phone. LOL

for long distance skype or some other video app is the next best thing to meeting in person.

2

I really don't know. I met my wife online. We didn't text very much before we met. I think endless texting is a waste of time.

Nuke Level 5 Mar 29, 2018
2

Are you referring to individuals who are in close proximity? Because I think if there is any significant distance between, say 500 miles or more, that may be something of a deterrent, at least until one or the other person feels a relatively high degree of confidence that a face to face meeting would most likely be positive. Just thinking from a male perspective...

2

From my experience, if people don't want to meet, it's quite likely it is a scam. Long perods of wooing online follow by some request for funds. Of course, they may have other reasons, but my suggestion is to not waste more time with them.

Geoff Level 5 Mar 29, 2018
2
2

I agree with you totally. What you are describing is the way most people today and they do not realize how easily they can be swindled if texting is all they do. I'm old school and I want to hear your voice. Words on a screen do not do much for me. If they did I could have a girlfriend like Siri or Cortana. Real interaction is done by real people.

2

I hate texting, so much can be mistaken, a phone call is better after a couple texts. I can understand why some women don't want to give to you but it's kind of a red flag to me. A phone call reveals a lot more about a person to decide to meet or not.

2

The Rules for Online Dating book advises women to dump or ignore anyone who messages more than five times without setting a place and time to meet.

It might be different for this website, since few members are likely to live near each other, but still, have a time table for action, and if they don't meet it, move on.

There are rules?

Yep, I concur.

1

Dunno. Why are women? Gender gerneralisations are great aren't they?
To have a real conversation you can use a phone.

AndyL Level 3 Apr 22, 2018

I have found getting a phone call is harder than getting a kiss.

Just sayin'

1

Eventually, someone really does have to meet in person. Chemistry online doesn't always mean chemistry face to face...however, as someone with a tinge of social anxiety (which is why I meet people online to begin with), rushing into meeting face to face with a stranger is extremely uncomfortable for me, so I get why some people want to delay the in person encounter for a bit until there is at least a level of comfort established. I see both sides though...either rip off the band aid and find out from the get-go whether you're compatible, or ease into it gently for those of us gifted with social awkwardness...it's really down to personal preference. I don't think there is a one size fits all rule of thumb.

1

We're not as adventurous and a little leary of this relatively new method of meeting women. Call us slow but we want things landing in our laps. Some would even say we're "chickens+++t"

If you want something to land in your lap, they have bars for that kind of thing, but you will pay a bit...

1

Well!
I have found women are the ones wanting to be in an Endless Texting cycle!
Then when they finally decide to meet!
They find some lame excuse at the last minute, why they can not attend to meet in person!
Way too many woman (men) prefer to live in havoc, chaos, and drama!
There are just too many afraid to meet!
I do not blame them!
Way too many trolls, fakes, frauds, and scammers!

It is a jungle, a war zone and a snake pit anymore!

It seems that it is much easier to stay by one's self just for the peace and sanity of it all!

Within another day around the sun!

1

I think they all must be short or something LOL I’m not much of a texted either,

1

I think a lot of guys cast a wide net in on-line dating. They carry on conversations with 2 or more women until they decide which one they want to meet. I've been somewhat guilty of this myself to be honest.

It's a foolish farmer who only plants one seed, right?

1

Probably because some men are awkward with conversation.

1

It's the women who ar playing games, IMO. Either golddiggers or dreamers in La La Land looking for the "perfect" guy who doesn't exist.

Lookee here, Eilorac. That's not true about "Barbies." You sound bitter... and what's wrong with just wanting to get laid? Beats twiddling, yes? Yes or no?

1

I am happy to meet as soon as posible to see if we have real life attraction/chemistry. I find it is woman who want to play it safe and put off meeting in person.

1

I prefer to meet after a week of talking on the phone

1

It's the opposite.

1

I think it's this site.

Others seem to generate in person meetings far more quickly.

Possibly due to better matching, but likely just due to much higher member population.

1

Must be a generational thing?

I am up front: it ain't real until we meet and can at least shake hands.

Then again, a woman coming to meet a man is likely viewed as more risky than a man coming out to meet a woman... which is why I am the one traveling.

Short: I am with you, I don't get it (from the male perspective, looking out at the female scene).

Um, one observation: if they are scammers, they do NOT want to meet... likely?

0

@Dba1955 Why would you say that?

0

My thoughts, they are married.

0

I can't say why. I for one, would want to meet up with someone I've been talking to for a while. We would meet in a public place like a restaurant, we could have something to eat and get to know one another. If a second date happens, fine , if not that's fine too.

0

How far out in the Boonies do you live?

Write Comment
You can include a link to this post in your posts and comments by including the text q:45449
Agnostic does not evaluate or guarantee the accuracy of any content. Read full disclaimer.