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I've been thinking about the higher age group of this site and I think I got it figured out a bit. Being an atheist isn't as uncommon in the younger generations. And generally more accepted. Therefore they have no "need" to find a site like this. A lot that do come here, came as most do, as a possible dating site. It doesn't really function in that way and they leave.

Dancing 7 Feb 18
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28 comments

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11

Yup! I'm 58, and my daughters have NO idea how it was for me (they are 27 and 24). Back in the day, I was completely isolated in my nonbelief. In fact, I have literally never personally known and been friends with another parent who did as I did in raising my kids from birth without religion (Deep South). The girls take nonreligiosity for granted as simple common sense and don't realize that we nonbelievers of days gone by were solitary and "shunned" individuals...and thus I suppose it feels good to connect with our likewise buds 🙂

I should add a comment to the above - my youngest daughter (chemical engineer) calls me "first-gen" and herself "second-generation," and as such, it helped her to deal with her college engineer friends who themselves were actually "first-gen" rebelling against the absurdity of their own religious upbringings...she has always been an artful, wise, and delightful guide...but back in my day, we didn't have any guides at all...😟

9

The vast majority who use this site, live too far away from one another to be personal or impersonal friends let along a dating site!!!

9

Yes, I believe you are correct in surmising that it's not so uncommon for younger generations to be more secular. It's us older folk that feel a need for some validating conversation with like-minded individuals.

8

That is I am sure quite true, but it could also be that it is only us old ####s who have time to waste, while young people are looking for faster shallower things.

,,,,old####s-🔭who are u calling ####s:::I get younger
...as time goes by...🎶frame of mind. Yep that is a valid
point ; I don't RUN nowadays to keep up with the JONES'S

6

This site may not function as a dating site, but I find it valuable to talk freely about dating. There's criticism, but not religious criticism. I learn a lot about sexuality from younger people, who seem to be far less repressed.

6

Makes sense.

6

Maybe.
Or else they don't think about their beliefs much. They're irrelevant, go without saying.
Just like we don't go around asserting vehemently there is no Santa Claus; we figured that out by second grade.

@Doraz I mean, they are ALREADY Agnostic...I say 'agnostic' because I think most people are, naturally, without thinking about it.
I think it takes a conscious act of will to be atheistic. It's more a deliberate rebellion against not only a personal, Abrahamic 'god,' but the whole notion of god, period.
I've ALWAYS been agnostic and a non-believing 'neo-deist' (look it up, it's really a 'thing'😉. I just didn't know there was a name for it.
Likewise, it's my considered opinion most millenials--and others who care to investigate--will eventually find this a fitting name for what they've always thought anyway.
The crucial difference NOW, I think, is the internet, which empowers people to have all the pertinent information at their fingertips (which is why the radical right, no dummies, will eventually severely restrict it).
In my opinion.

@Storm1752 You stated "I think it takes a conscious act of will to be atheistic..." This perplexes me. I did not choose to become and atheist. Becoming one was not an act of any "will" on my part. I simply stopped believing in ANY gods because I saw no reason to insert one--of any kind ( I was a deist for awhile on my journey from believer to atheist). I do not claim to "know" there are no gods; but, until I am presented with a reason to think one is necessary, I will not "believe" that any exist. And, again, this is not about any "willful" act. It is only a matter of not feeling the need to insert one when one is not necessary.

@Joanne I guess I mean people in general, even believers and 'anti-believers' such as yourself, know no concrete evidence exists either way.
In that they share common ground with Agnostics.
Believers are indoctrinated into that belief.
'Anti-believers' received the same indoctrination, for the most part. Not all, but most.
So for them, it seems to me, it takes for many or most "a conscious act of will" to reverse that indoctrination. For some, it's an ongoing counter programming which takes years; maybe never IS complete.
I might not be talking about you.
You say you didn't choose to become an atheist. Okay, fine.
But I, for one, at one point in time maybe didn't 'decide' to become agnostic, but instead came to the realization I was one.
I didn't 'decide' to stop believing not only Jesus Christ wasn't divine, but went the extra mile he never existed at all, but instead read certain things convincing me of it.
That doesn't convince me an impersonal type 'god' doesn't exist, just not a separate ENTITY. So a deist, loosely, agnostically defined.
I just meant for a certain percentage of atheists it takes deliberate effort to take the exact opposite view of god than the one they were taught from infancy.
Agnostics travel a less difficult road, since they don't abandon the very CONCEPT of god writ large, only the type of god they can accept as being plausibly, scientifically possible.
Does that mean I think one is "necessary?" Yes, in the sense an explanation surely exists for 'all this,' a unifying force we may never understand.

5

I've been an atheist since 16. When you are younger it doesn't matter as much. You are right. In the 70s it was easy to find other atheists/agnostics, at least for me. We had different priorities as well. I didn't get politically involved until grad school when I worked on Teddy Kennedy's presidential campaign and then not again till my 40s. I came here as a dating site, but that isn't why I stayed. I got involved in my community again, social causes, and political action vs. this criminal Trump administration. I started 5 groups and took over another. I've made friends here. We are a community. Something we need as we get older. That is why I'm staying.

5

It's a plausible theory.

5

It could easily be used as a dating website, but I noticed that few men treat it that way. They tend to bring up far-flung philosophies and complicated rebuttals to give to Christians, ignoring the women on this website, unless the men are privately messaging them, since I can't know that.

Men here are often observed sneering, mocking, and attacking agnostic.com women who post opinions that differ from theirs. It's like they're never had a girlfriend before and don't know how to flirt, court, or ask anyone out.

I agree, and identify with your second paragraph. Many times I have experienced men single me out for attack, but choose to leave the men with similar views to mine alone. They are usually in the younger age group and American I have to say.

I’ve noticed the meanness, too, of a few loud mouths who think they know better than everyone else. Makes one not wish to comment sometimes.

@Apunzelle If someone is ever rude, crude, or lewd to me or any other woman, I go immediately to their profiles and click on the "block" option. Neither of you will be able to see the other's posts then.

4

Younger folks think they will live forever, and are too busy having fun to concern themselves with much else.

4

This gives me hope for the future! 🙂

4

This sounds right to me. I'm an older man who came here from another site mostly because myself and a handful of others were the only ones who posted there. I am aware that this site was called a dating site and dating is possible, but I do not look at this site that way. I'm more than happy to find others of like mind. For me, being of like mind means being able to express why you do or do not believe something. I can do it because I came out of religion. It might be possible in any group to find those who are not gerbil eaters, but if you never ate gerbils in your past it seems very hollow. Many people in life are hollow with hollow beliefs.

4

That would also explain the number of people from the USA

4

Possible

bobwjr Level 10 Feb 18, 2020
4

yes your right

3

I'm here for the community. I love the intelligent, kind, funny and wise members.

Talk ta me dirty! 😜

3

It is the hormones. The youth want it now & want it all. The urge to merge. For women especially the drop in estrogen is a factor all the while men carry on. From shallow childhood, thru the reproductive years, then freedom to retire & follow ones hear. The, stages of life. But any social site could be used for dating. With the elder class it is not so urgent.....any more.

And I would have thought it ever so more urgent if you wanted to get laid before your funeral.....

3

Most likely.

3

Yeah ,,,I believe that those statements fit ; especially in
the bible or rust belt . Those we left clinging to religion
take the abandonment personally sometimes.
The younger set may have less"attatchments or roots".
The career choice sometimes determines the location
a person lives in ,when younger. I moved a fair amount
for work in my 20s& 30s.
I like other free thinking sites; the topics not so emotionally loaded-sharing info & conversation. Chatting
and storytelling is an art; which can benifit people..🌃

2

I agree with your sentiments about the site as far as dating is concerned, happily, I'm here for the community but I would be a bit worried if I were a member for romance! However, I do think that there is such a rich variety of wisdom and open-mindedness on our site that anything is possible!

2

Makes a lot of sense..

2

Given the length amount and intensity of earlt childhood propaganda, it takes someone just less than Einstein to figure it our after acquiring enough data! Takes time for most of us.......

1

I came here fer a laff!

1

I've been watching some Seth Andrews videos lately (an ex-evangelical Christian broadcaster) and I'm reminded that for some people, leaving the faith can be quite traumatic and causes much friction with family and community. It's one of the reasons I like that there are sites such as this that provide a welcoming place for all.

Many atheists don't see a need to make an issue about their non-belief/disbelief/unbelief collectively, but I mainly got involved with the activist end because church state separation is so important.

I've always enjoyed atheist/religionist debates, but don't need them to validate my own views. That being said, I often find the religionist arguments in these things a weird combination of vacuous and arrogant.

Atheists/agnostics choose whatever level of participation in the community at large that makes sense to them, as it should be. I'm glad we have such a large tent as it were.

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