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My mom's concern for me and my husband's atheism.

Biblebeltskeptic 6 Feb 22
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34 comments

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0

Guilt much?

Boy oh boy. Family.

Bible belt - you could see how they stand on becoming Jewish or Muslim or, heaven forbid, Catholic. Sorry, I'm stereotyping your family, and, I do apologize. Not enough to erase the suggestion, however.

10

:When Christ died on Calvary Hr drank the sinner's cup of punishment, He paid the sinner's debt to the last farthing."

Only religion makes ppl talk like this.

@Donotbelieve You got it.

8

Be kind...love your mother (blind faith and all), do not argue or try to make her understand your point of view because life is much too short to spend the years you still have together in constant disagreement. Just tell her you love her, and respect her views even if you cannot share them, and that you ask her to do the same.

I will. I just have not talked religion with her for a while and too me. It surprised me when this came up all the sudden.

@Biblebeltskeptic. It’s obvious that it’s been on her mind and worrying her. It was probably easier to just put it all down like this rather than discuss her concerns with you face to face.

8

They used farthings in judea?

Sorry, that just struck me. I think sometimes religionists repeat stuff without even thinking about what they are saying.

g

I missread is "farting" 🙂

7

When I saw first "Calvary," I misread it as Calgary. My brain jumped to, "so that is why they think he is a white dude. It's not that they think he is from the middle east, they think he is from Canada. So much of the modern day Evangelical political posting make sense now." I sometimes question my sanity.

7

Fanaticism at work.

7

He drank the sinner's cup of punishment. She rants on and on. WTH is this? Your mom has a great delusion that most likely will always be with her. She thinks she is "saving" you but she will do everything she can to tear you and your husband apart. If she blames him for your atheism this is a very strong desire. Deep inside she may feel that once you are torn away from him you have no place to go but to Jesus. I would avoid confrontations with her and do not discuss beliefs with her.

7

Wow, that has to be hard for you. Hopefully she's got a lot of that off her chest now and will ease up on you.

6

Typical words from a brainwashed christian, delusion and denial coupled with a dose of contemt. I will pray for you. Typical. Sorry for your loss.

6

You both rattled her faith and now she is having doubts, however, she'll never admit it, but the whole letter is mostly about herself, than it is about you.

Yup. Whenever my mom went on a desperate religious lecture to a non-believing family member, it was always about fear..fear that person wouldn't make it to heaven, etc. The sister I'm currently staying with (I've been a cancer patient) still chuckles bitterly over when my mom was convinced that the "Rapture" was going to happen in two weeks, after some book was released that predicted it. She began going around trying to give things away and even tried to have her beloved peekapoo put to sleep. She gave my sister a treasured portrait my artist older brother had painted as a teenager, since it was obvious my sister wouldn't make the rapture roster. After all, my sister was a sporadic church goer and even drank occasional wine, so obviously wasn't a Christian anymore.

5

I love you too mom. Nuff said.

5

I never told my mother I didn’t believe but she suspected and worried about me. It’s quite pointless to argue with a religious person about their religion.

4

What a pile of platitudinous bull crap. Sounds exactly like it could have been written by mt late mother, but then they are all reading from the same 2000 year old play book, nothing original.

4

What a blatant case of moral blackmail!

I cannot stand people who push the line of "more in sadness than in anger". 😟 😟 😟

3

Those beliefs are such magical thinking aren’t they? My thoughts are that if it sincerely comforts people to think that they will live forever in heaven after death, then so be it. You can certainly say that your are so happy for them - knowing their faith is such a comforting idea for them- but it is not a comforting belief for you. My family are atheists and agnostics, but my father was way more religious than my mother. We just didn’t talk about it. You can still respect differing opinions going forward.

3

"Mom, we are just going to have to agree to disagree on this."
Then if she raises things again, remove yourself for however long she needs. It is disrespectful & only going to lead to a sad estrangement if you do not take a firm stand!

3

This idea of deserving to go to hell just because one is born human is so disgusting. It was one of the ideas that I could not come to terms with as a believer.

That this god created us imperfect and then condemned us for that imperfection is just laughable--or it would be if people didn't actually believe it.

And, add to that, this god demanded a blood sacrifice of itself to itself in order to be able to forgive us because it created us imperfect/sinful--seriously? This god can be capricious, vengeful, petty, genocidal, jealous, and knock-up an unmarried teenager etc...but, by golly, it cannot handle that imperfection in its creation.

Unfortunately, my parents believe this same crap. And, my mother, even though she is in the latter middle stage of dementia, has her moments of worrying about my eternal soul. This hold religion can have on people is downright insidious.

This "perfect God", This "perfect creator" (never mind the 4,000 + known genetic defects) also had to re-do his testaments. Seems like he screwed up on Ye Olde One

3

When I have dinner with my parents, I still hold their hands when they pray...but they leave the TV on through the meal, so I try to make up Fox News drinking games while they mumble their spells to sky-daddy and beg for his perfect plan to include something good for them.

I love them and accept that they will likely never open their eyes to the delusion. They don’t want to see, I can’t make them, but they’re too important to me to let that come between us.

So my tolerance for the absurd is wasted entirely on them and the rest of the world gets my undivided ridicule.

3

It was canned? It was sent to mark already? Now that is sincerity!

3

She's your mother, she loves you, she doesn't have to agree with you. Say, "yes mum, fine mum, whatever you say mum" give her a big hug and say "I love you mum!". And then ignore everything she says. It works for me with my mum.

2

Mom, I love you very much, unconditionally, and I respect your right to feel as you do. I am also happy that you feel comfortable expressing your feelings. I ask of you that you respect my right to disagree with you. As much as I desperately want you to be happy, I cannot magically change my fundamental beliefs to bring this about.
I think it would be best if we just put this topic aside.

Perfect. Telling her that she will always be loved is the most important but beliefs can't be changed even if we wished.

2

I feel you angst; all the allegories- nothing straight foward.
I have a sister that thinks very much along these lines.
If one stops to think : I didn't choose god( at baptism ???)
; I was born into a culture that made the belief of certain things a requirement to " belong". It is sorta BACKWARDS.
Sales people are most effective when the consumer
has no choices.As we learn new facts- weather economic,
medical,geography,or social we are obligated to verify those
facts to carry on believing them. Group think sometimes leads to - NO THINK, and that doesn't help any one.

2

Tell her not to worry: if JC died for your sins, you're covered!
According to her, atheism is a great and terrible sin. (I'm agnostic and I'm sure that's basically just as bad.)
So he died for that sin too, obviously.
Tell her you can't help what you believe (just like a sugar junkie can't help eating chocolate and Twinkies, for example), so if she wants to pray for your immortal soul, tell her to go ahead, you appreciate her concern.
I NEVER talk back when my mother brings the subject up. I just play along. I have the advantage of being able to say I think god exists, always making sure the 'think' is barely audible. It may not be strictly true, so I just chalk it up as a 'white lie' and go merrily along my way.
In other words, have a sense of humor about it
It ain't nothin' but a thing.

1

Enjoy reading your posts girl it keeps me going u seem to have been in the same situation I was in growing up

1

So sad

bobwjr Level 10 Feb 24, 2020
1

Dear mom, your letter was to me like a memorable narration of a really great, moving movie or dream.
When you really analyze the individual happenings they are not what our reality is,
My world is of reason, i cannot live in a world of dreams and unprovable, unlikely dreams.
I am not afraid of death, it is part of my life. You and dad have your mental comfort in life, we have ours.
Of course we love you both, very very much.

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