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What do you say on facebook to friends or family that have lost a loved one? Most people type prayers or sending prayers. I usually post you and your family are in my thoughts.

ebdb 7 Apr 7

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I post this poem by Dylan Thomas:

Never until the mankind making
Bird beast and flower
Fathering and all humbling darkness
Tells with silence the last light breaking
And the still hour
Is come of the sea tumbling in harness

And I must enter again the round
Zion of the water bead
And the synagogue of the ear of corn
Shall I let pray the shadow of a sound
Or sow my salt seed
In the least valley of sackcloth to mourn

The majesty and burning of the child's death.
I shall not murder
The mankind of her going with a grave truth
Nor blaspheme down the stations of the breath
With any further
Elegy of innocence and youth.

Deep with the first dead lies London's daughter,
Robed in the long friends,
The grains beyond age, the dark veins of her mother,
Secret by the unmourning water
Of the riding Thames.
After the first death, there is no other.

The reader can interpret the last line however he/she wishes. To me, it means that once you are dead, you are dead, but to believers, it has a different connotation.


I say my thoughts are with you at this difficult time. If it is a close friend, I would offer my help in any capacity they might need.


I usually say: Sending positive healing energy. I'll be thinking about you and your family. Hugs!


I also tell the person they and their family are in my thoughts, and that it is my hope that their forms will warm their hearts in the midst of their grief. It is my belief that deep grief can be embraced as evidence of great love.


It depends greatly on how close you are to the person you are expressing your sympathy, and how conest you feel you can be with thyem. If I am not really close, I simply say, (I am sorry for your loss.)


sorry for your loss


Gone to a better place where there is no pain

Rosh Level 7 Apr 7, 2018

Gift certificates to a take-out in their area. There are so many things to take care of in those first few days.
And the shock, especially if unexpected may send a person into near debilitating depression.
Maybe offering to pay for house cleaning for awhile.

Visit even though they may be horrible company.


So sorry for your loss. I'm here if you want to talk, cry, vent, remember.


I usually tell them I am sorry for their lost and send my deepest condolences.


I have a lot of facebook friends that I went to high school with who I haven't seen in years and so I will say, "I'm so sorry for your loss, my thoughts are with you and your family" If they are someone I'm closer to, like family or a close friend, I will add a comment that speaks of the departed's good qualities.


I have an old childhood friend going through chemo. I tell her I am thinking about her. Sorry to hear if family loss.


I lived in the middle East for a while and I have adopted a version of what they say that I feel conveys sympathy without invoking a deity or referencing an afterlife.

I am so sorry to hear of your loss. May peace and grace be upon you and yours now and forever.


I offer them my sincerest condolences.

SamL Level 7 Apr 7, 2018

I try to remember something about the person who passed away and post that instead of "Prayers"

BD66 Level 7 Apr 7, 2018

Honestly that they are in my thoughts. If I am closer to them then offer some time, food, possibly a little day to day support while they are adjusting. Usually that first week or so is pretty busy with people in and out and the funeral, wake, whatever else the family might have planned. It's usually the weeks that follow that are the harder to deal with. Checking in with them a few weeks after if you are close enough to them is a good thing to do and letting them spill a bit if they need to.

AmyLF Level 7 Apr 7, 2018

If they were close enough for me to say something I’ll call. Then if it’s possible I’ll show up and if not I’ll send fruit or a food basket but never flowers ... people grieving forget to eat.... when my dad passed my mom needed the food and was made more upset by flowers. Once the dining table was full of vases and flowers she made me get it all out... FB is not the place. IMHO


My best friend's mother passed less than a month ago. I knew "Mamá Ñata" for over 40 years.

I didn't say "Lidia, I am sorry"....but I wrote "directly to Mamá Ñata" telling her, how important she was for me. My girlfriend understood.


That works.


Its not easy to find words of encouragement on such circumstances (regardless of the media or face to face, etc). However, I have learned over the years how love ones appreciate kind words in those difficult times. Probably the worst thing one can say its to say nothing...


Either I am sorry or deepest condolences..


I don't do that on Facebook. Social media isn't the place for everything, imo


I'm sorry for your loss.


I say 'my deepest sympathies and condolences to you and your family'.


I say, "My condolences to you and your family."

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