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What do you say on facebook to friends or family that have lost a loved one? Most people type prayers or sending prayers. I usually post you and your family are in my thoughts.

ebdb 7 Apr 7

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4

My condolences as to your loss, nothing about death is fair to anyone, I hope the memories you have of the deceased bring you peace and comfort for the rest of your days.

Totally stealing that one

@MuppetGirl All good. I thought that up shortly after coming across this post, and would have no idea if someone else had ever said anything similar.

4

Sometimes I ask if they have looked in the last place they saw them. That's what I do when I lose something.

It's never received well, I've found.

Torq Level 5 Apr 7, 2018

That reminds me everyone says they want a fairy tale wedding, but when I show up and curse their firstborn, suddenly I'm the jerk.

2

It varies depending on my relationship with the bereaved, but there are several things a non-religious person can say. I'm very sorry is the best, though.

Deb57 Level 8 Apr 7, 2018
1

I usually share my condolences.

1

I say I am sorry it happened and that I'll be remembering them.

1

Yes, this is a time when letting the grieving person know they are in your thoughts is acceptable. Depending on my relationship with the person suffering the loss, I might offer some tangible help, if there's something they can use, whether it be to take a walk and talk about how they feel, or some help with meals or cleaning, packing up their loved one's belongings, etc.,

Of course, in my line of work (conducting funerals is part of what I do) I make myself avaiaable to conduct the service or offer resources for conducting their own funeral service, memorial or ash scattering.

2

Sending love and hugs...my thoughts are with you...here for you.

1

I may say something like, " I know this is the hardest thing in the world, but just know that it gets easier with time".

1

Sorry for your loss

1

I say, "My condolences to you and your family."

1

I say 'my deepest sympathies and condolences to you and your family'.

0

I'm sorry for your loss.

2

I don't do that on Facebook. Social media isn't the place for everything, imo

1

Either I am sorry or deepest condolences..

0

Its not easy to find words of encouragement on such circumstances (regardless of the media or face to face, etc). However, I have learned over the years how love ones appreciate kind words in those difficult times. Probably the worst thing one can say its to say nothing...

0

That works.

3

My best friend's mother passed less than a month ago. I knew "Mamá Ñata" for over 40 years.

I didn't say "Lidia, I am sorry"....but I wrote "directly to Mamá Ñata" telling her, how important she was for me. My girlfriend understood.

1

If they were close enough for me to say something I’ll call. Then if it’s possible I’ll show up and if not I’ll send fruit or a food basket but never flowers ... people grieving forget to eat.... when my dad passed my mom needed the food and was made more upset by flowers. Once the dining table was full of vases and flowers she made me get it all out... FB is not the place. IMHO

1

Honestly that they are in my thoughts. If I am closer to them then offer some time, food, possibly a little day to day support while they are adjusting. Usually that first week or so is pretty busy with people in and out and the funeral, wake, whatever else the family might have planned. It's usually the weeks that follow that are the harder to deal with. Checking in with them a few weeks after if you are close enough to them is a good thing to do and letting them spill a bit if they need to.

AmyLF Level 7 Apr 7, 2018
1

I try to remember something about the person who passed away and post that instead of "Prayers"

BD66 Level 7 Apr 7, 2018
1

I offer them my sincerest condolences.

SamL Level 7 Apr 7, 2018
2

I lived in the middle East for a while and I have adopted a version of what they say that I feel conveys sympathy without invoking a deity or referencing an afterlife.

I am so sorry to hear of your loss. May peace and grace be upon you and yours now and forever.

0

I have an old childhood friend going through chemo. I tell her I am thinking about her. Sorry to hear if family loss.

0

I have a lot of facebook friends that I went to high school with who I haven't seen in years and so I will say, "I'm so sorry for your loss, my thoughts are with you and your family" If they are someone I'm closer to, like family or a close friend, I will add a comment that speaks of the departed's good qualities.

0

I usually tell them I am sorry for their lost and send my deepest condolences.

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