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This is a time of over-rated sexual attention. Commercials try to make us believe that males as well as females, should be sexual active until you reach the age of 90. I believe that, by nature, sexual activities diminish when people get older, because there is no longer need for spreading genes. Women are not productive after the age of 40-45, because of the change of hormone production. Which most likely will reflect on their longing for sexual satisfaction. For men it works more or less the same because also their production of hormones like testosterone changes/ diminishes. I’m not stating here that both can’t be horny at times, but things change.
I experienced this and so did my wife. We talked things over and came to realize that we are not 18 anymore with a body filled with hormones. Gravity has taken its toll and still does. We also realized that there are so many more beautiful things to experience in life that gives so much more and longer satisfaction than a relatively short period of sexual excitement so once in a while (I know that there are individual differences).
What are your thoughts about it?

By Gert7
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Baloney...if not interested fine but don't diminish my exploration and joy in being sexually and sensually active Media....has nothing to do with an active lover

EvaValdez Level 5 May 26, 2018

Hahahaha, sure, be hot and burning and enjoy it, I always liked that in the ladies.


So very sad to hear you think like is too short to just assume we will lose our sex drives at a certain age.juat let your body feel what it wants to feel.i know some folks in their 70s that just "KEEP ON ROCKIN IN THE FREE WORLD" You are closing yourselves to early

My actual goal was that interests are individual and different. He levels of hormones is promoted allover the western world, so that people that have reasons to be different, feel to be incomplete. I knew this was also an dating site, so I did not expect less than I got, but it was still interesting to read the replies. Sure everybody has to be accepted as the individual he/she is and also accept who he/she is, not judged by the outside-world that forces you in being what others think you should be. Religion has done that to me most of my life, everybody should feel free to be who he is.


I think the message needs to be that it's okay to still be having sex in your 90s, not that there should be an expectation for you to be. The squick factor of 'wrinkly sex' needs to be overcome. Older people have a right to sexual pleasure too. Clearing out my mum's stuff after she died, some of the things I found were sex toys, and a massive collection of '50 shades' type BDSM themed erotica. She was 76. Good on her.

I don't think my sex drive has diminished as I approach 50. Who knows where it's headed? If anything, it's become a lot more intense now that it's no longer incumbered by a frigid marriage and has a chance to get let off its leash. But animal sexual function definitely isn't what it once was. Those spontaneous random erectons (in the soup aisle at the supermarket: I mean... why?) have given way to a situation where I can wake the snake on demand with manual stimulation, but it can be trusted to slumber when its presence isn't needed. If I can hang onto that level of functionality for the rest of my days, I'll be happy. Reality check though, it's probably me just part way down a slippery slope to little blue pills.

Maybe I formulated my post a little different than I should have, as I was not interested at all how sexual active the members of this group are. Of course you're right. If people have the need to be sexual active until they are 112 (I believe that's the age of the oldest living person at the moment) they really should stay as active as they can. What I actually meant is (and on hindsight I should have pointed that out more clearly) that I believe that people that don't feel that urge so much anymore, should not feel guilty or feel unhealthy or deviant like quite some commercials are suggesting. They should feel just as at ease as anyone else. The replies I got here, was more in line of the commercials. And that's okay, I got what I asked for.

@Gert I just reread your original post, and I think it was my reading of it was that at fault. I simply can't imagine the situation that you describe. Pushing older people towards maintaining sexual relationships just isn't something that happens in the UK. Enabling them to if they want to, is a different matter.

I'm guessing in the US, there's money to be made from Viagra/Cialis sales, vaginal dryness treatments and the like. Promoting sexual activity between older people no doubt makes profits for certain businesses. That'll be where the expectation originates.

@NicoleCadmium Indeed, in the Netherlands, where I come from it's not a money maker either. But, on the other hand, if you see what medication is promoted here in the US, you have to feel 25 all your life. Medication for all kind of age-related issues. Medication for COPD (for instance for people that still are not able to stop smoking), joint pain, joint replacement, Viagra and all kinds of medications for which they have commercials on TV here, that I canceled my subscription with the cable company, and watch only Hulu and Netflix, etc., without commercials. I feel a lot healthier now. That these things are available is great of course, but here you have to be able to afford it, and still the majority of people can't. Sure I have pains which with I'm not glad. Taking pain medication more than ever. And indeed my sex drive has diminished somewhat, but I still feel great and I don't like to be pushed in a feeling that I should not. Commercials are also ways of indoctrination. To convince people of something that is not necessary true. Especially TV commercials are the new religion. I heard of people that love commercials more than the programs the network airs. I'm pretty happy and I believe my wife is too, even after 42 years of marriage. And that's what counts for me.


At 69, my sexual abilties have declined, but my interest is still thereand honestly too much different than 40 years ago. I love having my arms around someone, and caressing, and giving senusal massages and making my partner happy is just as important to me and my own fun. Yes, things take longer, but I don't let that stop me. If both partners have the need, then go for it. Men can get a medication boost if that is part of what holds them back. Sex to me is more than vigorous mating!


My condolences to your wife.


Thank you all for your replies and tags. It was quite interesting to read it all. Of course I knew that also several animal races have sexual encounters at an older age, apparently just for the pleasure of it, so your replies did not surprise me thát much, but still, sex related subjects are not always easy in conversations. It shows to me at least that members of this site, though within a certain anonymity, are quite open and honest towards each other even about this kind of "private" things. Although I'm a little disappointed that some of you took this kind of theoretical assumption as my personal opinion, although I realized, afterwards, that the "personal touch" I added, easily could trigger misunderstanding.

Gert Level 7 Apr 11, 2018

We all have diminishing libidos, however the person who said there might be snow on the roof but a fire in the furnace is right. I think your are taken in by a Christianity based myth,

Yes, the amount may diminish but the quality shouldn't, and there are many ways to have an enjoyable sex life.

After my mom died, my dad, age 78, probably had more sex with his new partner on the next ten plus years than he did in the entire 55 years he was married to my mother! Her daughter and I used to laugh about it, good for them!


Decades of observation with experience in gerontology brings me to disagree. Yes, age brings physical limitations and "it's just not worth the trouble" brings some variation in the numbers. Ratio in general with elder adults and younger adults regardIng a sexual aspect of their life are not that disproportionate. I still masterbate almost daily. The "animalistic drive"/hormonal drive to have sex with a child bearing age woman is in me. Just be


I just turned 56 and have seen no decline in my sex drive at all. I love sex!


Hahahaha, love the replies. I believe I never got that many replies before smile001.gif. More or less what I expected. People are very different and not just animals that follow the hormones. Still there still might be some influence.

Gert Level 7 Apr 9, 2018

I will be 70 in a few days. My interest and love of sex has not diminished. There is an old saying, "l may not be as good as l once was, but l am as good once as l ever was".?

Sticks48 Level 9 Apr 9, 2018

I am having more, and better, sex than ever before in my life...didn't even know my true potential until about 3 years ago. Will be 70 in July.

that gives me hope. at 65 now i haven't had sex for 12 years - & don't really miss it, only the idea of it.

@walklightly I promise, it is like riding a bicycle, only much more fun!

@AnneWimsey smile002.gif

@AnneWimsey And you don't have to wear a helment, most of the time.


Sex should be practiced by consenting adults at any age they want to do so and are able. I think it evolves as we age, but does not "disappear" for everyone.

No, it doesn't disappear. It would not get the chance for that. If it evolves or just changes, I guess you are right. Evolution means adaptation to changed circumstance. So, I guess evolution it is smile001.gif.


You are definitely wrong about women. Our sexual appetites tend to expand as we age.

Dear Blindbird, I did not start a discussion to be right or wrong. I just presented a theory and asked you all what you think of it. Don't get me wrong, I don't care if I'm right or wrong. The fact that me and my wife rerouted some of our sexual energy to other interests doesn't make this theory a personal conviction. And besides that, speak for yourself and don't speak of "Our sexual appetites", making yourself a good example or standard measure for the general sexual appetite of all older women. You tend to do that, you are not "we women", every woman is different (thank whoever) just as every man is, and I hope it stays that way.

@Gert your wife loves you so she sublimating to please your "desires" or lack of them. That is her choice and I hope you deeply appreciate it. On some level you know this, that is why you posted this whole thing, and why you got so rude to this gal.
Fun fact: women in the over-62 age bracket have been the fastest-growing "New HIV-POSITIVE group in the country for the last Decade, surpassing even Latinas of childbearing age, according to the CDC in Atlanta. How do you suppose that happens if we are all "finished"?

@Gert hence the word tend. Thanks for playing though. People having different experiences is a thing yes but just because someone you know has lost their drive doesn't mean the rest of us do. The statistics and my experience talking to numerous women back up my opinion. Side note have you considered goingbto a sex therapist?


You're right about individual differences. I had my second daughter at 42. Probably just as active later than when younger. Everyone is different.

No. In this case I think he's entirely misinformed.

@Blindbird Don't talk about me as "he" like I'm not there Blindbird. I never asked someone to agree, just brought a theory and asked for opinions. I worked with older people quite a lot and I don't think that I'm so very misinformed than you suppose. It's okay that you talk for yourself, and you did, but don't you judge me. Don't generalize your own opinion to a worldwide truth. You'd better leave that to religion. Above that all, I realize how much commercials and the so called "general consensus" try to influence us all, especially in the Western World. I see around me that the sex drive is kept very important for couples like it's all they have to live for. Never have there been more divorces than nowadays. I'm just curious. Not only religion tries to indoctrinate us all, commercials, politics, health care and so many more try do the same every day. They are very often quite successful.


Well put...and I concur! There is a time in life for everything and no one thing should take us over!


It's not so much that older folks should be sexually active. It's more that older folks can be sexually active. While I can't judge that little blue pill, I do believe it can be helpful for many older couples that want to continue love making. The only issue is when one member of a couple does not want to. It would be frustrating for the other.
Never tried the pill, but would definitely consider it, if needed. So far, I haven't.

MrLizard Level 8 Apr 9, 2018

ROFL - post 45 "will most likely reflect on their longing for sexual satisfaction". Whoah have you got a lot to learn about post-menopausal women! Freedom from pregnancy and "hormones" is a total positive. But you have to keep fit then everything works just fine.

Right? How do people still not know this?

@Blindbird It's only the men who don't know it. They like to imagine us sitting knitting socks & reminiscing & cuddling our bunions.

You seem to be quite a wisegirl, knowing it all. I agree with your arguments of becoming free of all kind of hustle. Good for you. But what goes for you is not a measure for every woman. It's nice for you and the ones that experience the same. Congrats. Keep it up.

@Blindbird You present yourself as quite an expert. I miss the finesse though.

@Gert I'm an expert in being a woman and I've spent my life surounded by them so you can go amuse yourself elsewhere. Furthermore the research on this subject bears out my views. You're just operating on the way you THINK things are with no data to back up your opinions.

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