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I really want to tell people I’m atheist, but living in the Bible Belt I feel like I’ll lose friends and family if I do 😕

kgent00 3 Oct 31
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38 comments

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1

It's okay to stay in the closet when your an atheist. I tell people I no longer practice anymore.

6

I grew up in Alabama, so I guess I'm an Alabohemian by nurture.
In my 20's (I still hadn't immigrated to the United States from Alabama) I made it clear I didn't believe their bullshit.
I spent the last three years there utterly alone over it.
It was worth it, the only thing worse than being alone is having a bunch of nosy opinionated Christians fucking with you all the time.

I think it’s still referred to as Brain-drain, how else does the South continue to stay dumb..

@Varn It's extremely simple...HIDE THE FACTS, our national pastime! The other day I was watching PBS newshour which showed all the states surrounding Georgia as red, indicatinga rise in covid 19 cases. I assume we had a "blessed" day!

@StarvingArtist Somewhere between Gainesville and Dothan?

@StarvingArtist I lived in Clayhatchee Alabama, between Dothan and Enterprise. Google Earth tells me the area has changed a lot since I was there when they grew peanuts because boll weevils killed cotton. Modern technology got rid of them since then using sound waves from solar powered gadgets. Yet they still believe in magic, they didn't pray away the boll weevils, but they do grow cotton again, ugliest plant on Earth.

@StarvingArtist When we bought the land it was all swamp, and we had two neighbors, a church which is now their fire station, and the people across the street who sold my dad the 15 acres of swamp we lived on. I'm convinced we moved there so no one would here us scream as dad was beating the hell out of us. I never saw sidewalks unless it was at school in Daleville, so much for roller skating, and the bus ride was hell, all the abused mean little punks on the rural bus had significant anger issues so I had to fight, twice a day, every school day until I graduated in 1977. I still came out with a 98.6 grade average , but I had a few teachers that hated me, I remember a multiple choice test where I got a D, but someone else had the same answers because they copied mine but they got a B+. The teachers justification was that I should do better since I was such a smart ass. I think she was still mad at me for pointing out an error in our science text book.

@StarvingArtist It was a long time ago, but the contours of my personality were certainly formed by the erosion such a situation causes on impressionable youth.

@StarvingArtist , On the blessed day comment. I've started responding with "I'll have whatever kind of day it is'.

I was born in Alabama, but didn't grow up there as my father was in the Air Force and we moved quite often. I was so glad I didn't grow up there after going back several times and meeting my cousins. WOW were they some kind of messed up!! After my father got out of the military we settled in Northern Calif. and I was so glad for that. My father moved back there because his mother was there. I haven't been back to Alabama since my father passed away in 1997. I don't plan on ever going back.

@Redheadedgammy Me either, how can he go back now that she's lived in the big city?
I'll stay in California for better or worse.

6

Hello and welcome, enjoy the site.
Remember, that you are under no obligation to tell anyone about your atheism. It is your own private inner state, which is no one else's business, unless you care to make it so. You can even go to church and sing along if you wish, as an atheist you must know that it is meaningless.

If you do choose to tell people, then you will discover, perhaps, that you may lose a few friends, but they were not good friends anyway. It will be the best which stay. And remember there is an ever growing atheist community, where it is not hard to find honest friends.

6

Welcome to the asylum. Enjoy your stay.

I live in southern Georgia. Definitely part of the bible belt.
I'm out, and I haven't lost any family or friends.
At least none that I've noticed.

You are the only one who can decide what is best for you.

Texan here and it is the same with me.

Central Florida here, same with me too.

5

Why would you want to tell everyone ? I don't but if i'm asked, i'd tell them without any reservations at all.. Live your true life...

Really just so they won’t talk about it around I have nothing against it I just get tired af of hearing about god all the time.

5

I’ve found that simply behaving as an atheist speaks as loud, and often better than words. Skip church, skip a couple words in the pledge of allegiance, work on Sundays, vote Democratic, don’t say ‘grace’ … yet be the friend and family member all can count on.. Let them make the choice to respect you, or lose you ~

Varn Level 8 Oct 31, 2020

I already do most of these things but even if I do where I’m from it’s assumed that you’re Christian

@kgent00 My mother fled the Midwest because of religion. Ended up on the Left Coast.. I hate to seed good land to others, but my travels and experience have shown there’s a lot of good land, some inhabited by enlightened people.

4

You will, and why do you feel a need to tell if you are going to be persecuted? Just do your own thing and if anyone asks say you are an agnostic. That you belong to the church of agnosticism, as most of them are very uneducated they will not understand but believe that it is some kind of church.

4

...if that happens (lose friends), were they really your friends? Real friends won't judge you. They have a cult if they're going to judge you for not praying to make-belief gods.

4

No great loss in the long run...

4

The friends that really have your back will stay. The family members who really love you, it won't matter to them.

4

You may be surprised to find that some of your family and friends have the same reservations that you have. By coming "out" you will find new friends just as we all here have, but most of all the inner feeling of freedom you will attain is unmeasurable.

4

I knew I was an atheist in my teens and said so to anyone who asked by my 20’s. Lost people in my life, but I can’t change and I guess they couldn’t either.

3

When I first made the decision that I was an Atheist, I kept it to myself mostly, but if people asked me what church I go to, (that's big down here in Texas) I would tell them I don't belong to any church because I am questioning my belief in a god. It usually went a little smoother because then they think in their mind, that you will come around and find that you do believe. That is their assumption and I let them have it. If they kept asking, I just said I was still thinking about it. You don't have to be an open book with anyone. It's not their right to know your personal beliefs. Do what works for you and don't worry about it. Those who are true friends won't judge you, and it's the same with family.

3

Anyone who would disown you for something you can't control wouldn't be a loss to lose. Fuck 'em.

3

Perhaps you will loose some or many friends, but you will gain an excellent friend, and in many respects, the best friend that you will ever have: an honest and self respecting YOU.

3

First, I never just tell anyone. If asked, then I am honest.
Second, a real friend will not care. Someone who is not your friend will have a problem. Better off without those people.

3

Only because she kept trying to "sell" me god, did I reveal to my Sister, what I thought about god things. Though we still express love to one another, our communications have lessened, and there is a wider gap between us - especially with her three grown, super holy kids and their families. I can live with that.

As for friends - if they can't handle my truth and still be my friend, then no great loss, as I see it.

3

I live on the Missouri Arkansas border. I revealed I was an atheist before Jr high. The friends or family that didn't like it weren't worth my time. You'll learn that in time. Religion is toxic and getting toxic things out of your life is a good thing

I live in Alabama and I really only have a small bit of family left which is why I just don’t say anything about it

@kgent00 if they care about you they'll accept it. If they don't you're better off without them. I know it sounds cold and unfeeling but it's the truth. We as atheists have to deaden ourselves to a few things and being judged by those who still believe in fairy tales is one of those things

3

You will lose friends and family if you do. That much is a given. Now let's examine the desire to tell others you are atheist. Why would you want to do that? It's not a good idea if you work for believers and it's not good to brag about your beliefs. I work for a corporation of believers and when religion comes up I state that earlier in my life I studied for the ministry as a Pentecostal but today I do not even go to church. If someone adds to that and makes up what they thought I said, I stop them. I get away with this because I work with a bunch of believers that also no longer go to church. We are all back to a common ground without any argument and I keep my job.

Welcome and good luck to you.

3

All the best, i hope that if you do admit your lack of faith the best people stay with you 😊

2

I advise caution. Only reveal to those that have no control over you. Coming out at the workplace is a bad idea if you have levels of supervision above you.

Atheists are gaining in numbers, but the level of hatred is still thermonuclear. Quite a few of true believers can't handle exposure to the subject. Maybe rightly so, they view atheism as a repudiation of their beliefs. They are like Muslims seeing someone with a Muhammad cartoon. Be careful.

In reference to Muslims, This was a key turning point in my deconversion. I as a Christian was mocking Islam for believing that a giant horse had flown Muhammad from Jerusalem to heaven. I laughed at how absurd that was. Then all of a sudden it hit me. My Bible has a story about a talking donkey in it and that a chariot of fire took Elijah to heaven. I immediately tried to dismiss that thought as from Satan but it burned in my mind. Eventually I came to the conclusion that my beliefs were just as ridiculous as the Muslims beliefs

@abyers1970 My recent revelation:

[agnostic.com]

2

Please kindly make yourself known, it is better to tell the truth than keep deceiving one's self.

2

family i can't say. friends, not if they're REAL friends. but i understand.

g

2

If they do not want to be your friend or have you in their family because you are being honest with yourself, then they were never your family and friends to start with, they were simply users and scumbags.

2

Make some atheists friends and family first. Build a support structure.
Pick a place where your job is secure from that sort of prejudice. Public Univeristies are pretty good.
Also there are many many Christians tupically in big cities who have no problem with atheists. Some of them are nonreligious and call themselves christian out of respect for their family.
If you can move to a big city and find your local atheist or secular meetups that eould be a great first step.

I more in a rural and I’m pretty much stuck here I have a good paying job and I’d rather not leave. I have no clue where to start to meet people who are atheist. I do not know a single person who is atheist

@kgent00 Is there an area close enough to you you could find a Meet Up group.

@freeofgod Birmingham maybe

2

Suppose it is like whether you have an innie or an outie, it’s really nobody’s business, but eventually, some one will ask. You get to choose how and when to share...

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