My mother died last evening of cancer.
Though we were estranged to some degree I am terribly sad ?.
I may not be on here much over the next few days.
I'm sorry. Mother daughter relationships can be challenging. Though you had an estranged relationship, at the end of the day, you only have one mom. I sometimes wonder if part of the grief is that there is no longer a possibility of reconciliation. :-/
Take care of you, take the time you need to grieve. It's still a major loss. Sending wishes of peace and comfort and healing thoughts...
So very sorry for your loss. You are not alone and while nothing can temper what you are going through the good folks here on agnostic.com give you a virtual hug and will be here for support. I lost my dad some years back and went through the same range of emotions you are going through. Hugs from us all.