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Just an FYI... the online dating scammers have arrived at I did online dating for 18 months. Let me know if you need to info on how to spot them.

Tucsongirl1 6 May 4

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I wanna find one who will send ME money!

Don’t hold your breath.


Oh no!! I thought I was a 66 year old babe magnet😟

But you ARE!

@MsKathleen Flattery will get you everywhere πŸ™‚

@Mitch07102 I knew that...


Thank you! One thing that annoys m.... Hang on a second, a lovely young lady just sent me a photo of her wearing a tight shirt.

Want to swap?
Last week I got a photo of a tall red-head, side profile, with what I assumed were at least size EE Knockers and when I took a closer look IT had a definite 5 O-clock shadow and was either carrying a Colt .357 long-barrelled Colt revolver in the front of it slacks OR it was the outline of something very MASCULINE.
Needless to say I gave that one the P.O.Q. (Piss OFF Quick) plus the Royal Order of the G.G.S. (Got get Stuffed as well.

I'll keep my top-heavy redhead with a wardrobe problem. Thanks for the offer though. πŸ˜‚ (I might consider a trade for a brunette though.)


And I thought I met my true love....geesh,


They all seem to start off their private messages with "Hello, Dear".... hahahahaha

My inbox: β€œHello handsome...”

Proof that they don't check my bio... :/

Oh, dear!


They've been here since I joined over 3 years ago. Have two private messaging me now who are probably scammers. They will want to text or email or chat on another site. If they talk on the phone they are always foreign no matter where they claim they live. I had my 1st Nigerian scammer 10 years ago. Its usually more than one person sharing your phone number and will eventually invent a story asking you to send money. DON"T!!!!!!!!!

Right on . Other things I've noticed , they don't write much of a bio ., they seldom read yours before writing you . and their opening line generally reads something like ,"Hi beautiful . How are you today."

@Cast1es hi handsome my age is really 33 I love u let's get married 3rd text exchanged from hacked account real woman age 70 pof makes impossible to change birth year by hackers

I wonder what they would say if the response was 'Well, I have a bad case of gas and I just saw my 80 year old neighbor naked.'



They've been here since I've been here. I'm not certain how long that's been ... at least 2 years.

You only made it 18 months? I started online dating in 2000 when was the only pay site out there. I dabbled in the online dating cess-pool on and off for about 20 years (mostly off.)

I guess I just assume that at this late date, the vast majority of people know how to reverse image search, screen-name search, and how to Google search profile content, etc., in order to weed out the scammers. #shrugs

Calling THEIR bluff when one team mate can't remember what HE typed about having my baby is ALL I ever do one calls me with a gravelly voice thinking he sounds like a sick SHE

That must have been a fascinating experience to see how online dating has changed over two decades. Please PM me and give me a lengthy report on what you have seen and experienced. My guess is that online dating sites have, if anything, gotten worse since 2000, providing less info in the profiles with which to use in seeing who might or might not be a match for someone. And I'm sure the prices have also gone up as the sites have consolidated and are now owned by just a few conglomerates. Please tell me, either here or in a PM, how much success have you had with dating sites in actually finding men you really liked, were compatible, and actually dated for any length of time.

In almost three years on Match, I only met one woman who was compatible enough to date a while, six months in that case.

@TomMcGiverin The devolution of online meeting/dating has been truly fascinating to watch/witness.

In 2000, was $9.99. It was great. I had wonderful experiences with online. There was also Yahoo "live personals" back then. You'd just scroll through endless comments/intros and chat. Even my Mother was doing it back then.

Fast forward to about 2007/08, when POF stopped being an "online community" and went full-out dating site. It was great for a minute. It being free, the cost of the internet went down, the masses arrived, and I pretty much didn't bother with it anymore.

Early on it was really great for me. Sometimes I would date just one person, sometimes I'd almost frenzy-date. I met two people who still matter to me. One I met in 2000 and dated on and off for 15 years, he died in 2015. One has been in my life for 13 years and he actually gave up his life in January when I got so sick and is now here in the Midwest being my best friend and at times my caregiver. So overall, I'd say it was successful for me. As for love connections and forever and all that soulmate jazz???? That's all crap, IMO. Nothing is forever and if you're lucky to find one or two people in your entire life that gets you and that you get??? I call that success.

Today's online? No thanks. It's just one huge human buffet. 😝😝😝😝😝

@SeaGreenEyez I'm not surprised to hear any of that. It seems to me that, esp. now that all the dating sites and services are all owned by a few conglomerates, same as the mass media companies in TV, radio and newspapers, that the dating sites and services get worse and more expensive each year. I predict it won't be long until all of them, except maybe E-Harmony, will be just profile pics and/or short interview videos, and very little info about the site or service members. As it is already, someone has to really beat the odds to meet anyone who turns out to be a longtime compatible friend or partner like what you have described.

Because the real goal or priority of the dating sites and services is money, nothing else. They only need to have just enough success to seem credible to the public as a service that works for some, along with the fact that the companies are now so monopolized they have no real competition or anyone regulating them from the government to force them to improve any of their services.

I also agree with you about what is realistically possible for most of us and how you define success in finding good relationships. Our movies and TV shows give us a very fantasized view of what is realistic in finding longtime partners and such. Sometimes the best we can expect is someone who continues to share sex with us, enjoys spending most, but not all, of their free time with us, and that never feels like killing us at the end of some days.....

@TomMcGiverin Indeed! Once Marcus sold POF to Match, it did away with forums and added shit to pay for. It's still technically free, but not really if you want to use the features that matter.

I think you have to have a very thick skin and very few expectations to do the online thing today. If I had been interested in meeting/dating in the past 5 or so years, I wouldn't have bothered with online. There are MeetUp Groups and other ways of meeting that I may have entertained.

I think the age of Tinder is upon us and swiping right, hooking up, then swiping again simply isn't my thing.

@SeaGreenEyez I am way too sensitive to do hookups or FWB, so Tinder would not be for me. All the dating sites now require you to pay for any real chance of meeting anyone. A free membership doesn't even allow you to see all of someone's profile or even their main pic if they send you a Like or a real message, so how can you ever make a connection with anyone? Batch allows a free member to send a free message each week to someone, who is a paid member only, whose profile and pics you've seen, then after that you and them can message for free for a few months as much as you want, even video chat, but only if they choose to reply back to you in the first place. So in the end, it's just a teaser come-on to get you to buy a membership so you can make connections more often than with the free membership.

I don't agree with you about Meetup groups, I tried them along with Batch, and I never met any women to date from them. I did meet one good male friend from a Meetup group, that was it. I found that the same women who were at those groups were also on dating sites, so I dropped the groups as a waste of time and a duplication of the dating site. I didn't want to put up with the games of sorting out who was interested in dating and who wasn't among the Meetup group women or deal with approaching them in the groups. I am not confident about approaching women in person, so that doesn't play to my strong suit, which is being a good writer. So I stick with the dating site. More efficient and less wasted time and effort. I know some women, maybe most women, prefer meeting men thru activity groups, but that's easy for them to do when it's usually the men who have to make the first move and approach them. I think most women, esp. ones who are not above average-looking, unlike you, might see it differently if they had to usually make the first move in the Meetup groups. Personally, I find it much easier, tho never easy, to take rejection on a dating site, esp. before meeting in person, than to get shot down repeatedly to my face in a group setting. That experience is no different than the old days when I was young and would approach women at bars with live music or without music. It was not fun then and it's still no fun now when I try it at a live music show in a bar, asking them to dance. Approaching women in person at a bar, live music show, or even in a Meetup group, all hinges way too much on one's looks, and I have never been that confident about my looks towards doing that. I know that nowadays most women who are average or above average are probably going to reject me if all the have to go on initially is my looks.

The same way that the vast majority of my first messages to women on Batch don't even get read, because the women see my main profile pic in the Match e-mail about the message and decide my photo isn't up to their standards, so my message, no matter how good it might be, never gets read. Some things never change....

@TomMcGiverin I don't know if Meet up groups work or not as I've never tried. I think I would've tried rather than online had I been interested.

I think age is a factor. The older we get, the less likely we are to meet someone (for whatever reason we want to meet.) And yep. It's all about appearance initially.

I feel badly for all persons wanting to meet someone in today's market. It has to be rough.

If you don't already, try watching 90 Day Fiance: The Single Life. You can watch it for free on YouTube. There are two people this season who aren't "pretty people" and it chronicles their dating lives. It's pretty fascinating.

@SeaGreenEyez It is rough. I may watch the TV show you mentioned on You Tube, just for the stories of the two average looking people. No doubt I would relate. I 've said it a ton of times here on these forum boards, and it often seems like no one hears me, but the dating game is a totally different reality for people who are average or below average-looking, compared to those who are 7s or above on the looks scale. It usually feels, at least to me, that those who are 7s or above either don't see this or want to admit how much better they've got it than folks like me. If they're frustrated with the dating scene, it's either because they have too many choices or because they are looking to end up with a 10 in looks, money etc. With those of us lower on the scale, it's usually more a matter of not enough choices, as most people of the opposite sex, even those at our level of looks or below, are still chasing after people who are better looking than us, so we end up with more limited choices.

@TomMcGiverin I think you should watch it. Those two people aren't ... well ... let's just say: they're unique. (Especially him.)

I think looks are subjective. I'm not remotely physically attracted to anyone my female friends date or are married to. I have fairly unique taste in appearance and who I'm attracted to isn't likely going to be who most would expect. When I was younger I had much different preferences than today.

There's been an evolution for me. I was about 40 when it became all about intellect. Believe it or not, wicked smart is a LOT harder to find than handsome. πŸ˜‰

@SeaGreenEyez I don't doubt that. In a culture that serves so much trash and anti-intellectual content, as well as trashing intellectuals, no wonder that wicked smart is hard to find. That's why I still appreciate this site, because there are still some wicked smart people here, men and women, and they are appreciated here, at least more than in our society in general.


Why don't you tell us how to spot them now.


Been here as long as I have!


We have been battling them for some time, they just seem to have come out like locusts, most find really slim pickings here.


There are 2 groups here that are dedicated to spotting scammers. You may find either or both of them interesting or valuable.

Damn! I always knew I didn't fit in.


Excessive compliments, very attractive , if they want to contact off site . We have a scammer site report them

I've gotten more of those than I can count here on Agnostic. And like Holysocks says, they are always very young, attractive, wearing tight clothes.

Stop talking about my potential girlfriends! They have all promised me a share in a diamond mine!

@Holysocks Whatever you want, you just keep telling yourself that, lol...


I have three years of online dating experience with Batch, and the scammers have been here on Agnostic since the beginning, as far as I can tell. They should be obvious to spot.

Did you Catch a Match on Batch?

@Krish55 I use a rhyme instead of the real name, in case that dating site wanted to sue Agnostic for something they didn't like being posted. As for catching a match, I am beginning to see someone who has potential. Stay tuned.

@TomMcGiverin really ?? Another moderate believer female ? Most Atheists are in mixed marriages but too many courtships fail for inept pandering to what they think a real Atheist IS

@Larry68Feminist She is a moderate Episcopal believer, not an always attender of church either. She was a clergy wife in her last marriage before being widowed, but she believes we should all think for ourselves rather than blindly believe.

@TomMcGiverin I dated a UNI professor Presbyterian widow to an Atheist history professor we broke up last week when I bought my new car in Waterloo... She feels Atheism is for discussion NOT civil rights to freedom FROM theocracy.... Some of my oldest friends here in Ames are Episcopal liberals....all married or lesbians

@TomMcGiverin Episcopals are as Catholics without the doctrine or dogma. All the ritual without all the judgement. Reasonable I have found. Next to Unitarians they are my favorite Christian sect. Good luck 'bro. I'm rooting for 'ya.

@Mooolah Thanks. I think she is very reasonable about religion and respects my difference with her. I dated a practicing Catholic for six months before Covid and that was not part of why that ended, was never really an issue in that relationship either.


Scammers come and scammers go.


They have been here for as long as I have which is over 3 years. They are so obvious I don't know how anyone doesn't spot them, at least the women scammers are. I don't know about the men except they seem to mostly be from Africa. πŸ™‚

The men are equally easy to spot.


It looks like I've managed to avoid the scammers until now. I can spot them almost immediately.


They have been here since the beginning.


So far they have been pretty obvious and easy to spot. But I'm not here to hook up, so when I get hit on in a personal message I assume it's a scammer automatically.

Deb57 Level 8 May 5, 2021

Isn't there a watchdog group on this site? I wish I could remember the name of the group. You can report scammers to the group.

Ryo1 Level 7 May 5, 2021

Unfortunately the watch dog retired from the site.πŸ™

Hi Cyklone. That's a shame. Plus, I haven't been on here long enough to know that. I must've imagined that there is such a group.

there are two []


Hi glennlab, Good to know.


You are one brave lady.


I did my research too, date buster on google does reviews,, it states that most sites contain about 97% fake computer generated profiles,,, and if you change your region from one area to the other side of the country,, same profiles show up. These 97% will send you tons of like you messages and yes,,take your cash and you never meet.



One disappeared here when the alleged female Atheist 41 was falling in love with me living with a single mom lost her job I offered to come get "her" when "she" asked me to slow down then all messages vanished


omg 18 months!?!

to a man that would make him think that you've been ran through more times than the Holland Tunnel (shout out CGA)

FYI the only thing a man is scammin for is sum kooter shots


I got a personal message from a woman who raved about how handsome I am. I was flattered but then she disappeared.

Same things happened to me a couple times recently. Scammers come and go all the time.


Nigeria is the hotspot, overtaking the scam industry,,, about 145 million per year was the last report I saw,, drug lords with mules to harvest from the stupid people falling for the same scam!

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