Agnostic.com

3 5

I only read the first three pages of the Bible about incest, from what I recall?

God's DNA is abysmal, from what I have understood. His favourite son is Satan, and he is nothing to brag about. He is a nasty piece of work and is responsible for everything wrong with the earth. And it is not our fault because Satan is responsible for the mess on the planet. What a relief that is to know we are doing a great job, and this other guy, Satan, is at fault.

Jesus, his other son, is supposed to save but can't save a thing. My understanding is "He" is broke and has been that way for two thousand years. JC Carpentry did not do too well as his entire organization always needs more silver.

Anyway, I think Jesus was in the plate business as it seems they are continually handling, passing and holding plates in a church full of silver, and they use it to build bigger and bigger piles of bricks crowned off with two sticks that look like a lower case t.

I do not recall a Mrs. God? And if so, are they still together? It seems there are no other kids around? I think they may have split up after Satan was conceived; he was such a handful.

I'm sure God was horrible to live with? As many men can be like this. She up and left for another universe. God lives alone now and has no date, so "He" does everything by hand now. Both of them because "He" is ambidextrous—a perk of being God.

The big difference between Satan and Jesus is that Satan knows how to save as "He" never asks for money, and his brother JC is constantly begging for money. It is the same old story, fighting over money. It's no wonder they don't get along.

God must be bored as "He' never does anything and is lazy. No wonder "He" is broke too. A rotten property manager and a Slum-Land-Lord at best. All families have problems, and God wrote the book on it.
It is called the Bible; basically, it is The National Enquirer in hard copy.

Tourirst 7 July 29
Share

Enjoy being online again!

Welcome to the community of good people who base their values on evidence and appreciate civil discourse - the social network you will enjoy.

Create your free account

3 comments

Feel free to reply to any comment by clicking the "Reply" button.

2

Have you watched "Lucifer" on Netflix?
It's awesome at poking fun of it all.

Oh, I love that show. I was going to call him Lucy but try to stay original.

0

I cannot follow this so I cannot accurately comment.

It is meant as a joke, you know, like God.

2

I'm not sure what bible you read but I'm afraid you got it wrong. Surprisingly, since he is totally against contraception, god only had one son. The devil is actually an angel who tripped and fell from heaven
Regarding the silver I think god runs a betting shop because if you give a stake (seed money)to the bookies runner (the pastor) you may win and get it back ten fold

Well, I am poorly versed in the book of fiction. But it was meant as a joke which pretty much sums up religion.

@TourirstWish it was a joke.

You can include a link to this post in your posts and comments by including the text q:612424
Agnostic does not evaluate or guarantee the accuracy of any content. Read full disclaimer.