It became obvious to both of us that my husband was dying soon. When I asked him questions about services he always responded with the fact that it didn't make any difference because he wouldn't know about it.

Funerals are for the living and help us say goodbye so we had a party with everything but speakers and a preacher. I always felt he would have liked what we did. I also know I will never see him again. Occasionally I wish I had been a more attentive wife but I know I made him happy and he knew he made me happy. His last words were I love you Jo. No one can ask for more than that.

This is how true adults think and speak.

Beautiful.

Thank you. My late partner was from Iran and a Moslem family. She was the only daughter with 4 brothers but her mother pushed, asking questions about everything. When she was young she thought religion silly. She saw what happened after the revolution to her country and realized it was also dangerous. At 64 she contracted an incurable brain tumor and opted for our states Death with Dignity program. It was an easy death and she knew she was lucky. From the very beginning she understood the life - death connection and accepted it without reservation. I felt as she. We had 16 wonderful years together. After she died I called the University of Wash., she had signed up for the willed body program and they came and got her. I too have signed up for this program. We both strongly felt life must go on. Had I died first I would have wanted her to find another and she, I. Actually I am glad she is not here to see the state of the world and the horrors wrought by 'silly' religions.

Wonderful words there by Ann Druyan. The real tragedy is that when non-believers like Carl Sagan die the believers start making up stories about them and claim they converted at the last minute. To me it is proof that they are jealous liars.

I truly doubt most actual Atheists falter in their rationality at the end of life. Agnostics on the other hand may try to cover their bases. My Dad, though we never really discussed it, was I believe an Agnostic. At the end of his life he was fine with pastors coming to his room and praying with him. But I never remember him praying on his own. I have no illusion of any afterlife or savior.
Imagine some place with the billions of humans who have inhabited the earth! Just the thought makes me sick and claustrophobic!

I have two kids that I love dearly. I could never imagine if they didn’t do everything I say then I would put them somewhere of extreme torture for eternity. That just makes no sense especially if you’re god and you actually made them have desires to actually sin

perfect

A wise and thoughtful lady who is so positively human.

I am just in love with the guy and hats off to his loving wife who stood strong by him and his beliefs. How many of us have a union of minds like this? The majority is wrapped in property, money, vanities of love like gifts + flowers, taking out to places, showing off love, relationship, pda etc until the freaking near end.

I read that a family friend pastor was asking Carl and his wife until the end to believe in and accept Jesus and rest in peace and Carl Sagan kept saying he did not need belief, he needed proof.

Only the lucky have a partnership like this. If I dreamt, this would be this partnership.

Beautiful

That was very nice

I'm 78 and I've told my son that when I die, there is a letter for him in the safe deposit box. I told him I want no funeral, no casket, no headstone, no visitations, no speeches, no celebration of life. Just put my ashes in an empty tuna can and be done with it.

As someone who just lost the love of his life, I can relate to and appreciate what Ann said. It would be nice, but I can't believe what I can't believe. Thiests think it is easy being unable to believe. Not true. I wish all of those fairy tales were true. That is what makes the loss so much tougher. I can't buy into that "you'll see her again", blah, blah, blah. Reality is tough, uncompromising and a MF.

They met , matched, realized what they had together and made the most of it. Lucky...and smart them !
What else do you need? To meet again?...Highly unlikely.

Good read btw, thank you Jonna

That's fine. It doesn't matter what anyone believes; Whatever the reality is, that's what it is. There's plenty of indicators reincarnation is real, at least for some people. Maybe that's an illusion; believe what you will.

God? Not a clue. So that's the attitude I'll have on my death bed. If I'm extinguished, fine, I'll never know. If I move on in some fashion, great.
People like Mrs. Sagan, in my opinion, should have an agnostic outlook and an open mind, for what it's worth. I don't think there's any way to prepare for death; it just happens,. No matter what our attitude is. So might as well have a good attitude and stay alert.

As an agnostic I told my wife and daughter I want no funeral and no wake .In regards to my father who died recently at 105 I complied with his wishes and held a wake ,church services and funeral .We should never think of ourselves but of the person who passes away and what they wanted

Wonderful words.

"Contrary to the fantasies of the fundamentalists, there was no deathbed conversion, no last-minute refuge taken in a comforting vision of a heaven or an afterlife. For Carl, what mattered most was what was true, not merely what would make us feel better." [ffrf.org]

She talked about religion and science quite widely but I couldn't find anywhere specifically including on her Wikipedia that she was an atheist. Maybe just a non-declared non-believer?

This is so on point about living your life with meaning and values - how you live your life, what you contribute, how you treat others, is what makes life worth living and is a legacy. We have our memories of those we've lost to keep with us, build new memories with those we love, live up to our own expectations, and make what difference we can - it's enough.

Thank you for sharing this. I think it is lovely.

Wonderful.

Great words. Thank you.

Lovely!!