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Tell me, the loneliest you've ever felt
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Redcupcoffee 7 Apr 24
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55 comments (26 - 50)

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4

All the time. I live with a married couple, I'm terrible at making friends. Yeah, I know how to be alone. Doesn't mean I have to like it.

4

I'm an only child with no family to speak of. Been on my own since I was 16..... yeah, I've felt lonely at times, even with a few really good friends in my life. They have their own families and responsibilities so I've spent a many of the "traditional" holidays and a lot of nights alone. It used to bother me when I was younger, but as the years passed, I just became accustomed to it I reckon?

Well hell.... come on over then. I'll roast some beast and veggies and we'll make cookies! 😉

@Redcupcoffee Oh geez. Same with being an only child far from family. I have 2 dogs & a cool AF kid tho, if you ever want to hang. We're a stones throw grrrl.

4

When I was in an 8 year relationship with someone. I turned, looked at her and realized that we shared nothing of value together, even though we had a house and 2 'good' careers. But for some reason I still struggled to remove myself from the relationship. The whole "You're suppose to do this when you're 25, and have this when you're 30" mindset.

4

I was with a partner for a long time and we worked together as well as 'parenting' together (I put it in inverted commas as they were my children not his)We were just really active had a share in a canal boat co-op cycled a lot etc. he wanted children of his own and I had had an ectopic pregnancy so couldn't have any more so at some point we decided to leave so he could get together with someone else who could give him babies. the first night I spent alone was dreadful I cried all night and couldnt get to sleep and feared I would never be able to sleep again - I got my mojo back fairly quickly and got my life in gear and was interested in how easy after that first night it was to just change gear and get back on a track - Life really opened up for me and I don't regret a thing - I saw him many years later at a festival and was interested to find I had no feelings at all for him - Dont know if that is capricious or just that I had moved on and learned to love myself more. But I still remember that first night alone as one of the most desperate of my life.

@Redcupcoffee Thank you !

We are born alone and we die alone. Being OK with being alone is necessary. Being lonely is not the same thing.

4

2004 - my ex-wife left me in May, and in July I lost my brother/best friend to cancer. It was me, and me alone. I don't remember much else that year. It was dark.

@Redcupcoffee It really is. Thankfully it got better but you don't know it will when you're falling like that.

3

A few years ago, I had my expenses planned, was december, I think close to Christmas, if im not wrong the coldest night of the year, was the last day to pay my electrical bill and my rent, so I plan to do it by phone, the guy who use to cash my checks for the last 7 months, decide that he can cash my check because he say so, so I pay my rent I came home to no power, and a very cold night, I got a candle and start reading, I read my book for around 5 minutes, then I started crying, I "had" the money available next day, but I don't have nobody to talk and just open about what just happen to me. That night I plan to go back to Mexico, but as always,I got 1 rule, only crie at nights, when nobody can see me.

3

Not sure whether we are alone in the universe or not.........but either thought is frightening.....

3

Afognak Island, Alaska.

3

I can honestly say I've not been lonely. When my wife died, it was devastating, but I wasn't lonely. I guess with work and being with people, talking to them, doing different things and always having something to look forward to and plan offset any loneliness. I've chosen to be alone, though. That's different.

KenH Level 3 Apr 24, 2018
3

Crazily the loneliest I have ever felt was while married. I suppose since I thought I had entered into a relationship that should have been a partnership I felt mostly abandoned.
Having lived most of my life solo I never really felt lonely when I was actually alone.

I think the feeling of loneliness comes, at least in part, from the expectation that you should not feel like you are alone but do. Or perhaps when you are used to having someone around that is integral to your life, like a child. Since I have a child but only get to spend have the time with her I tend to feel lonelier when she is with her mother, but not as lonely as I felt with her mother.

3

I'm fairly gregarious guy, so my loneliness has been temporary and shallow thankfully. Being an Australian trapped by circumstances beyond my control in the UK, however, leaves me with homesickness that aches like a badly healed fracture.

@Redcupcoffee Heat. Swimming in the surf. The smell of frangipani trees on a hot summers night. The raucous din of cicadas. Rain on hot concrete. Eucalyptus. The dawn chorus of kookaburras, lorikeets and noisy mynahs. Turkish pide and Thai lak sa. Family and mates I've had forever.

@Redcupcoffee Oh, believe me, Sydney had its down sides. It's a hideously expensive city to live in, for one. And the sheer depth of history here in the UK is stunning for a nerd like me. But my bones are antipodean.

3

Two years ago my wife had gone to Colorado to be with her son, who'd had a mild stroke and was having colon surgery related to Crohn's disease, too. While she was gone (for two weeks), I learned a close female friend (whom I'd dated years ago and kept in touch with) had suffered a severe stroke, the result of a another friend who'd gone mental. This was around Thanksgiving. I suffer from SADS, too, and it was only getting worse. Plus it was the end of the semester at the college where I teach, so I was stressed. I don't think I'd ever felt that lonely and abandoned before. I was so glad when my wife returned. I've been depressed , but I'd never felt that lonely. I was tough. Fortunately, I was on meds and had a counselor to talk to, but it was rough.

3

I went with a guy in a car he rented on a trip down through Mexico. Somewhere we came up on a local watering hole. I did not won't to take all of my money in there so I hid it in the car. I met a Pretty little senorita. When I came out he was gone the car was gone and all of my money was gone. I started walking north. A few days later I made it to the Border but I was still broke and alone.

What a story!

I can’t believe that guy did that to you. Humans...

3

The latter months of 2016. My youngest brother died in March(Glioblastoma brain cancer; he was 51). I was living in a town where I knew nobody, 2 hours from my hometown. The first year and a half, it was soul-healing to be there; loved it. After my brother died, though: the isolation was hard. I was in an extremely dark place.
Then a miracle of sorts happened: my family got me a 1-lb puppy. If you knew my family(with the exception of my kids), you’d understand why I say ‘miracle’. But...it brought me out of my locked, dark, silent, world of pain.

3

The loneliest I ever felt was when I was unhappy in my marriage, but not yet decided to end it.

Cheri Level 5 Apr 24, 2018
3

Years ago when I was in an abusive relationship. More recently because I don't have any true friends, just a couple of acquaintances. Hard to make friends as an adult.

@Redcupcoffee Guess we're in the same boat!

3

The day my wife told me that she was leaving me, because she was having an affair with my "best friend". We had moved half way across the country 5 months earlier, so my closest friend or family member was 12 hours away.

2

Dunno about lonely but I'm bored AF.

2

First few weeks as a college freshman many years ago. I was surrounded by people I didn't know and far from family. I used to walk into the woods behind the dorms and hang out alone. I felt lonely but had to isolate myself to feel better... kinda weird. It got better as I made friends and turned out to be a pivotal experience in my life.

2

Haven't really.
My self reliance is high.

2

This moment. Right now. Because even in a crowded room we are always alone. Actually that hurts worse than just binge watching Netflix. At least then you know you are alone.

2

When I caught my then wife cheating with an old boyfriend. I felt like I was in a vacuum. I was broken for a very long time.

2

I was early 20s, in Okinawa in the Army, working rotating shift work. It was like all the family back in the states decided out of site out of mind. Christmas season, I think I got a card. Then when I was married for over 20 years and the ex made it plain he put time on his "christian" website ahead of time with me.

2

I've felt maybe 85% of the maximum of lonely. However to become an adult, a person has to know how to fix something like that. I think that my feelings largely had to do with my habits back then, as well, and the fact that relations between my then-girlfriend and I were very thin, due to those habits.

1

In my 20's. All my friends scattered after college; busy trying to get their work and personal lives together. I spiraled down into a depression so debilitating I could barely take care of myself. Not only had I lost my support system, but the people who supposedly cared about me were just telling me I was being "lazy" and "over-emotional" and I should just "get over it." There are stretches of time during that period where I don't have memories where I draw a blank because I was so out of it. To say I was lonely would be an understatement: to even see two people together, even just as friends, was painful, because any of my attempts to try to connect with anyone that were even minor disappointments were so debilitating that seeing other people together were just reminders of how lonely I was... Those days are long behind me, thank goodness, but they've definitely left their mark.

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