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What does skin color have to do with love? I have participated in the usual online dating sites for years and have noticed something interesting. I was told by an overwhelming majority of white Christians that they were not interested in dating anyone of a different skin color, although they conceded, I am a handsome black man. I think I know why. What do you think?

AlanMitchell 4 Apr 24
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21 comments

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10

I think they are bigots period.

7

In all fairness, white Christians have really let their raciest flag fly of late... the country around them is changing color fast, and White Jesus is terrified.

White Jesus! lol

6

Some religious people to seem to be more racist.

I think it is the right wing mind set in general.

5

Interesting. I've done a bit of online dating. On okCupid, and I'll instantly pass anyone has answered yes to "Would you strongly prefer to date someone of your own skin color / racial background?"

I've only dated one woman via online dating, though. The rest have been men.

@DeeTee There are like 20k questions you can answer on okCupid. It's great for narrowing the field.

5

Racism is more common than I realized. My eyes were opened from meeting people on dating sites too - although the experience is a bit different. Mostly the white men would ask me if I'd ever dated a black guy. Seemed like it wasn't any of their business and the fact that skin color was part of the question really put me off. I heard some horrific things from them that I won't share here but was really suprised people would voice it. Sure did open my eyes.

@Philosopearl Seriously. And not just one of them. That's the sad thing. It wasn't just one jerk

@DeeTee Yes, I know. Some of the things they said were truly unbelievable. I didn't realize people really thought those things - much less would be bold enough to say so to someone they were trying to get to know

4

I don't know if it is only Christians. We all have our preferences, be it race, eye color, height, weight, age, etc. People rule out potential mates due to many thing.

3

Skin color has nothing to do with love. All humans are human... But culture, and religion have a nasty way of instilling xenophobia. There is no such thing as race, except that we are all of the human race... But religion likes to make it's congregation out to being the "chosen ones", who are, of course, favored... Skin color corresponds with the environment a person lives in, or, well, where their ancestors developed that skin color to best suit the environment. But, you know, if you look different than them, God might not approve. We've come a long way, but there is still further to go. All humans are human. All colors are beautiful... And, I have to say, when the colors get mixed, they make even more beautiful colors... Cheers to you, AlanMitchell, for being in this community.

I have always said "There is only one race" even though it's cliché. I have members of my family that could pass for white so there comes a time when I have to ask, "Why does skin color ever matter?" Your words were spot on! Thank you!

@DeeTee people of Africa now are the purest of our species... Most all of the rest of us are mixed with Neanderthal, and Denisovan, perhaps other hominids... But yeah... We're all related

3

You are a handsome man. That and a good attitude should make you irresistible to others.

2

Religion mostly has to do with that.

2

If you meet someone who hung up on skin color...Well I'll bet dollars to donuts...They ain't worth the time in the long run...Be yourself, life is too short my friend!!!

2

Maybe they're afraid of shunning from their community.

2

Fuck 'em. These people are walking, talking garbage.

I've been with women from all races, creeds and colors, and they're all equally special people to me who have brought companionship and pleasure in to my life. They have all been unique in their own special way, and the color of their skin has nothing to do with the wonderful memories they have left me with.

When people say shit like that, they are automatically black balled from my world. They are not worthy of wiping my ass for me.

2

I think their wankers myself. colour has no impact on what women I would date at all.

1

I will not deny a cultural difference between racial communities. I have dated all races, the love of my life is a black woman. The issue is usually not with the person you are with but with their families. Sometimes it is awkward. Once at a Xmas party it was all I could do to avoid a fist fight with my Mexican bro-in-law. When you are young it is harder.

1

You are in the south.

In the two large western cities I lived in (L.A. and Seattle) inter-racial couples are quite common.

1

I’ve been persona non grada for being Italian, we looked like we were the same race but I guess not... when it’s more obvious I’m sure it’s amplified. I also went on a few dates with a black woman, I wasn’t her type nor was she mine but neither of us cared a scintilla about race. It’s tricky because the same can happen if your both the same ...but is bigotry alive and well in America?, without question!

1

Maybe Christians are tribal even within their own sub community. Ethnicities gravitate to their sectarian churches. AME (African Methodist). Protestant and Catholics, (European descendants), Greek Orthodax(Mediterranean)
My hometown even had Irish, Italian,Polish and Greek parishes of the same denomination. It’s tribal and patriarchal. As a male, I have dated women of a variety of ethnicities but, in a patriarchal sect, the women are subjected to a different standard. It’s kind of my stream of consciousness as I type this but would be interested to hear other views.

@rakuman
My mom is from Derry in NI. I know of that saga all to well.

1

Over here in the UK it seems to be much less of an issue.

Lots of relationships between people from differing cultural backgrounds and dual heritage children are not uncommon.

There are still a few narrow minded bigots around, and some racial tension in some areas, but it's no longer seen as an issue for many people.

1

Sorry, I am of no help. But I find diversity wondrous. I have just dated ladies I like and who like me back. 1st girlfriend was Hawaiian, hung out a lot with an Aboriginal girl in my teens, in my 50s dated an African Lady, before that a lady who was 1/2 Sweedish 1/2 Maori. Most stunning woman I have ever seen was from India and the prettiest was part French part Vietnamese.
Maybe the ladies who made these comments are afraid of peer pressure? It is all I can come up with.

1

I don't date people of other races. I've found that men of other races, and from third world countries, who pursue me are mainly trying to update their social status by dating an American Caucasian.

0

It is called pre judgement, but you knew that. I have dated the full spectrum & have found it is culture that divides us. As our segregated culture merges into a slurry of all ethnicities we will no longer have such a severe divide. I am reticent to date anyone. But if it clicks it clicks. I find all colors beautiful. I find some aspects of some cultures unsavory. I dated a man not of my race for 4 years with a family who were kind to me but disliked caucasoids. I did understand the reasons. I didn't blame them, but it made me as uncomfortable as most would be in that situation. My mother was considered passing for white. She was Greek which is really on the African plate. Very dark & rejected by a green eyed blonde mother. And so it goes.

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