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Holy Babymaking, Batman!

Sgt_Spanky 8 Sep 13
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34 comments

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1

Don't the Mormons do something like that?

BDair Level 8 Sep 13, 2022

Don't know. I'm not Mormon.

[snopes.com]

So woman commonly faint in church, and then they do this ritual. It makes perfect sense now.

@BDair Is it a sin to leave their vibrator in whilst praying?

4

Holy fuck.

4

As the congregation sings, “Coming again! Coming again! Jesus is coming again!” 😂

4

These people are effing insane.

Define "effing".
Coitus on top of a grave ranked below on to of a mausoleum, which was below the church pew. On top of the altar was highest points. But to be blessed by the servant has got to rate extra brownies particularly if anal as well.

@FrayedBear It's a euphemism, obviously.

@Flyingsaucesir [snopes.com]

@FrayedBear Even 8f it ain't what was originally advertised, they're still effing nuts 😂

@Flyingsaucesir cannot disagree if delusional & deluded is your nuts.
I noted that it is an evangelical church in Brazil. It didn't say which but as the most offensive evangelists these days originate in America the probability is that this has American delusion behind it.

@FrayedBear Brazil has a lot in common with the USA. Trump and Bolsonaro are out of the same mold.

@Flyingsaucesir I'm glad with hindsight that I didn't migrate there.

3

All that's needed is a camera and these people are all making a porno.

3

The Da Vinci Code right there...the Holy Grail...😂...

3

Didn't I see some kind of cult fertility ritual of this sort many years ago in the horror film Harvest Home with Bette Davis?

3

She is on top! Is that allowed by that church?

No it fucking ain't!

The use of the female superior position, as opposed to the classic missionary position, indicates that this is a very progressive Christian church! 😂

Really? The church prohibits certain positions? I'm clueless

If you're lesbian . . . But
[snopes.com]

3

Holy Jesus!!!! Ohh, Goooooddddd....

(They might have to wait a while for the second coming...)

The woman wouldn't be Lisa Sparxxx, would she?

2

Of course they haven't been 'blessed' yet. God doesn't approve of a woman being on top.

2

I wish that was real, sadly not. It is two women doing something biblical - yeah, sure. She liked it.

2

despite the miscaptioning, for those who saw the movie, Midsommar, you're probably thinking of the scene i'm thinking of. Excellent movie about cults and highly recommend it to those who have not seen it. The Wickerman (73) is the only other (better) movie that precedes Midsommar.

The Wickerman is a great movie, fortunately was able to watch it on DVD years ago.

2

Entertaining, however always useful to fact check claims like this.

From Snopes:

Photo Does Not Show Couple Unable To Conceive Having Sex in Church

The church in Brazil explained in a series of Facebook posts about what the two people were actually doing onstage.

Further details here:
[snopes.com]

2

Fucking lunatics.... oh wait, that could be a description of that photo lol

2
2

Well that’s one way to get the hubby up on Sunday anyhows….😎

2

He made her see god.

2

Religiously sanctioned porn, I wonder are the others queuing up or just getting their voyeuristic jollies.

2

Where where? I want more children.

But Snopes says it is miscaptioned. [snopes.com]

In the photograph, the woman on the bottom apparently fainted, which prompted the church to reenact something that was described in the Bible. The verses referenced in the reporting were 2 Kings 4:32-35: "When Elisha reached the house, there was the boy lying dead on his couch. He went in, shut the door on the two of them and prayed to the Lord. Then he got on the bed and lay on the boy, mouth to mouth, eyes to eyes, hands to hands. As he stretched himself out on him, the boy’s body grew warm. Elisha turned away and walked back and forth in the room and then got on the bed and stretched out on him once more. The boy sneezed seven times and opened his eyes."

2

Holy meme making.

Me-me make hole in your body!

2

Does the head holding by the pastor mean this is a threesome? Aren't all others cheering the fucking, voyeurs?

For once you came to the same conclusion but? [snopes.com]

@FrayedBear typical from a humorless australian idiot who fails to understand satire, now go mourn your stupid queen.

@Mofo1953 will you achieve wisdom by your next birthday? I doubt it.

@FrayedBear I'm already wiser than you can ever aspire to be, not that imbeciles, especially Aussie imbeciles like you could ever be, but at least try to sound less of a cretin, guess that's too much to ask. Anyway, go suck your new King's dick as all lackeys like you must do.

@Mofo1953 dumbass. I yawn at your comment.

@FrayedBear sure, anything to open your cocksucking mouth and suck charles dick, all you british lackeys do it so why even bother to reply, oh right, because you're an imbecile who doesn't even realize you must suck british cock.

@Mofo1953 you prove your stupidity & ignorance.

@FrayedBear because you say so? What a dumb fucking briton cocksucking asshole you are, I have proven your stupidity many times, you're on a league of your own in moronic level.

@Mofo1953 you don't know anything about me.

@FrayedBear everybody here knows you're an Aussie, ergo a Briton lackey who is obligated to kiss the king's ass.

2

From many of their religious views, I think I see the problem. It looks like the woman is on top. I thought that their god wasn't happy with that. Isn't that some of the mythology behind some Christian groups who believe in Lilith as well as Eve?

Nah. The real problem is that he has got brewer's droop!

[snopes.com]

Lilith refused to be tupped by Adam and become pregnant, so god cursed her and made her the demon who causes cot death and infant mortality, by smothering children.
It is a Jewish myth not a Christian one originating in the second century AD, there was an earlier Mesopotamian class of demons called the Lilith (the dark walkers) who caused men to have involuntary night emissions by seducing them in their sleep.

2

Cheaper than a hotel room

puff Level 8 Sep 13, 2022

And if you are an exhibitionist, this is the way to go!

@Zoohome [snopes.com]

2

So, let me guess that when this doesn't work... surely it will cast doubt on their faith, right? I'll cut to the chase and say that will be no. And regardless, does this open the door to the slippery slope, as it were? Will churches become voyeuristic fuck palaces now? Oh this is good...

1

Can see this happening in Brazil. Sex is sacred for having Christians children. Wonder if the songs are encouraging like :Cum all he faithful: Or OH oh!!! MY GOD.!!!!

1

That would be so Medieval

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