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If anybody feels they can explain men to me, I'd appreciate that. I need a refresher course.

#Men
Faithless1 7 May 25
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36 comments

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1

What don't you understand?

14

Explain to me humans and I can explain men to you.

@Faithless1 correct

10

All women want these days is sex! Meanwhile us guys just want to cuddle and talk about our feelings.....

8

That's a sexist comment which mirrors the equally sexist trope emanating from the other side of the fence - 'women are a mystery', 'what do women want?' etc etc... It's lazy and tedious.

I'm going to stand up for men here. Just as women are all different, so too are men.

Some men are good, some men are bad. There is infinite variety. Men are not all the same.

Thank you Ellatynemouth! Equality between genders passes through the effort of all people, women and men!

[agnostic.com]

6

First, assume a woman, but then add immense social pressure to always be 100% in control of every situation and social pressure to never display emotions other than anger except when trivial things like sports are concerned.

A man is never allowed to admit defeat, show weakness, or be boring - must always be "more man" than all other men and pretend to have more depth than may actually be present. A man must bury all feelings and obfuscate/deflect/project when someone tries to get too close. Love and sex are determined to be the same thing and are treated as a competition - men must "win" to be considered "true men."

Any deviance from this is punished severely by ostracism, marginalization, and undermining of their value as a person and accusations of not being a "real man"

Thats toxic masculinity summed up.
Something that needs being done away with.

@Faithless1 Well, no, and I'm not claiming that I have. I'm not saying that men have it harder, or easier, than women.

You wanted an explanation for men and I gave one that focuses on some of the social-pressure reasons why men do messed up things (both in an out of relationships).

I'm not justifying men's behaviors, just giving a perspective into why they feel compelled to behave that way sometimes

@Faithless1 Eh, that's more because I was going to write a longer post but decided that I wasn't interested in detailing every single aspect of how men and women are differently socialized. I figured some of them would be obvious and I didn't think I'd have to explain that men don't have to deal with things like impossible beauty standards, the degree of stalking and sexual violence, cat-calling, mansplaining, etc

6

Just humans, like women - more similar than different really.
.
And we don't all care about sports or drinking beer.

6

First, determine whether you are dealing with a man or a boy. My guess is the latter. Advice: Run.

@Faithless1 indeed I am. Robert Bly wrote a really good book on this called The Sibling Society. I recommend it.

6

It's very simple: Food, sex, beer, football. In that exact order. Not exaggerating. That's about it.

Your problem is that you're trying to find complexity where there quite simply is none.

YUP. You're so right.

This might be the best response that ive seen on this site.

@Faithless1
A hungry sperm sac if you please ?

I respectfully disagree. Football comes before sex. Consider...the pre game show, the game itself...then the after game analysis...they don't even spend that kind of effort and time on their women!

5

There is no "refresher course". It's an ongoing, never-ending, program.

5

Watch Red Green to understand men.

Deep down, we're shallow.

4

This is simple. Men think women are too weak to live, women think men are too stupid to breathe. This triggers the avian/mammal "love" response: small, helpless things get loved, ensuring babies get taken care of. If you posted with a specific guy in mind, try to look for signs of intelligence.

4

They are different creatures but really not that hard to please. They want to be appreciated, don't bitch at them the minute they get home from work, let them relax. However, in my experience my ex was an alcoholic so no matter what I did, it was wrong. I still have hope but don't put much of an effort out there to meet anyone. If it happens, it happens. Communication is key, oh and a healthy sex life. If they aren't getting it at home, they will stray.

4

Feed regularly , service weekly , nod head and making yes noises...job done really

@Faithless1 garage or basement with tv . The garage they can tinker with tools and stuff basement to games computers etc

3

I really have to stifle my grumble with these kinds of questions... and for really obvious reasons. Do you think all women are a monolith of sorts? Of course not. Neither are men. There are patterns, of course... but not homogenousness.

In the final analysis, who you really need to understand is yourself: what you value and what you need over want. If you understand this, then the reproductive gear a human is packing isn't relevant beyond preference and aesthetics. You just figure out if they work for you. Many people won't work and that's ok. If you aren't motivated by fear and desperation, you should have the patience to wait and find the right person instead of doing what a lot of people do: jump to the first person that numbs their loneliness and then complains later on to find out they weren't a good match. Know yourself and do your homework!

@HonlyBMcfunky, Don't blame the victim. With dating, I have found most men can hold it together for about three weeks. At first, they act charming, thoughtful and helpful.

Then the bad behavior comes out, the same bad behavior that killed their last relationships.

@LiterateHiker I don't doubt for one minute the truth in what you're saying - not one bit. Let me add to your knowledge: women are exactly the same.

@HonkyBMcfunky, I'm sure you're right that women do the same thing. Thanks for your insight.

@LiterateHiker As a side, you look incredible! All the best. 🙂

@Faithless1 You want to understand men better - I say that men aren't so different from women at their core and knowing what it is you want and sticking to that is all you need - you proceed to tell me that any interpretation of your remarks that is negative is a reflection of my own lack of self-comprehension. You don't want insight - you want to complain and get agreement from others. My mistake; I thought you wanted things to change for yourself.

3

Bit ambitious to understand all men. We're all different. Just try to understand one at a time.

3

Could anybody explain human beings to me? I am pretty certain that the lunatics took over the asylum a long time ago and have been running things ever since.

3

No point in explaining, if you did not get it the first time you never will, he,he.

3

Men Are From Mars,Women From Venus.

Coldo Level 8 May 25, 2018

@Faithless1 Not really..it's just that those paradigms apply to mostly cis hetero men and women who are heavy in their birth traits, and only a percentage of the population are in the typical gender binary.

Check the finger lengths..longer ring fingers indicate high infusions of prenatal male hormones, longer index fingers indicate high doses of prenatal female hormones. My ring fingers, to no one's surprise, are longer than my index fingers.

Many male traits are hardwired into my brain from getting high doses of prenatal male hormone, due to my brother being born two months before I was conceived.

2

If there was any advantage in being understood we would have evolved communication skills.

2

I would be glad to if you could do the same for me with women.

2

Men are very different to women. The problem is that men think women think the same way as them, and visa versa. The first step is to realise this.

KenG Level 6 May 25, 2018
2

Of course there are intelligent, kind, respectful, thoughtful and faithful men. They are usually married.

"I feel like I'm dealing with the leftovers," the last man I dated said about dating. "Sometimes I I feel that way, too," I replied.

On the second day of a two-day visit, Rob, 70, chose to act moody, grumpy and withdrawn. He did not even show good manners. He reminded me of a petulant child who sulks at a party. "Thank you for putting up with my bullshit," Rob said that afternoon. I let it pass.

I stayed calm and rose above. Thank goodness his friend, Mike, stayed for dinner. I had a wonderful time talking and laughing with Mike.

"I refuse to be around a moody, grouchy person," I told Rob in my kiss-off email. "If you act this bad at the beginning of our relationship, how will you act when we are more involved?"

2

I find her question to be open and honest with a dash of humor. What is wrong with that?

vsh76 Level 5 May 25, 2018
2

I can try to explain ME to you but that is all I am qualified to do.

2

When I used to get in male mode (I was gender fluid before I started taking derris scandens) I only wanted the same things..all the time:

to find a bar to sit, drink beer and ogle pretty women-by the way, to me, ALL women were beautiful- while listening to cool music.

Other than that, I wanted to watch, and bet on, every sport of every kind, even school kids playing soccer in the park. Or fighting beetles.

My female side wouldn't allow beer drinking (it causes wrinkles) but I could look at women all I wanted, since as a demisexual, I feel no lust.

But I observed that my somewhat "fellow" males, the real deals, seem to only want food, sex, beer, and sports also, except they don't have to deal with a limiting female side, except maybe their wives.

1

Funny question we're not complex at all. We think differently than females and as such we have some communication problems which is normal. The main issue I see in the male female relationship is understanding the differences in the way we think and the way we express ourselves. The female lectures man until she's blue in the face in most cases he would have tune her out. The desire to change an individual is not practical. If you like the individual as he was then let it be. Men are fairly straightforward. If they're quite chances are I need some down time. If they're a little hyper and they may need some projects which you could suggest but not the demand. We're no different then females in that we like respect and if we give respect we expect it in return. I guess in summary I would say we're not complex were fairly straightforward I think in the case of females the opposite may be true which aides in the problem with communication.

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