I would be pissed...She might be right, but that's no reason to deny how he felt for his whole life just because she wants to be comfortable. There isn't a ritual for becoming an Atheist, but if there was, how would she feel if someone did it to her on her death bed? It's completely and utterly disrespectful.

I also can't stand the when the Mormons go to grave sites to baptize dead people. Talk about no respect for the dead and their families.

In this country, we are supposed to have freedom of/from religion, even in death.

IMO, your dad’s beliefs are not compromised simply because his wife tries forcing her beliefs on his death bed. It is unfortunate she did but then again, death brings desperate people to cope in sometimes, controversial ways. Still, this gives her no right to force her beliefs on to him just to make herself feel better. Selfish, very selfish. Very disrespectful to him and his family.

if at the last it made your father feel the least bit better then great and in a way we all are wrong both sides the only thing i think i know is i don't know i don't think theirs a god it's more complicated than our little primate minds can think of

No soul. No god. A guy in a uniform sprinkled water on him. I wouldn't worry about it, though the disregard for his belief (or lack thereoff) I find a bit disrespectful.

If I understand correctly, you don't believe in religion (nor the semantics attached to it?), you believe he just died. Leave well enough alone. But you don't have to like his wife, for the kids sake or your own. I learned to be mindful of my stepmother because it gave me peace of mind. Although I do not have a relationship with her, she had a relationship with my father that I had nothing to do with.

You are never wrong for your feelings. You know who your father was and whatever his wife did was on her. Think of the man you know and love and work to rid yourself of inner turmoil. Peace to you

It sounds as if you have the correct grasp of the situation. It is/was for her benefit. It is great to understand where she is coming from. Don't be afraid to let her be her, but let it serve as a caution to you and do not allow yourself become entrapped by them. I believe you are perceptive and because of that are also cautious. Bravo!

You are not wrong to be angry. I would be angry, too.

Very foolish of her but let it go. Did not hurt your Dad and made her feel better.

I don't think it's about right or wrong. It's about the woman's desperation when someone she loved was dying. It's not something I'd ever do (I'd still be an atheist in a foxhole) but I've had similar experiences and just think "If it gives them comfort, so be it". Your dad wouldn't mind - he knew the truth just like we do.

I was "religious" for about a week when I was 5 yo. But much later I sang in a church choir and I enjoyed the community part of the experience - esp since people were totally cool with me sticking to my beliefs.

if you tell children a fairy tale and they believe it, even in the slightest; maybe it helps psychologically because its such a nice way to show your emotions without doing anything drastic.

Sorry about your Dad. People do strange things sometimes in these circumstances and when emotions are high like they are when a loved one is about to cross the memories of events are forever burned in our minds I think. You are not wrong to be upset it's normal. I lost my husband last year to cancer and some of the behaviors of others will never be forgotten. I respected his wishes to the very end. He was a mason and wanted rites.

I kind of figure that if there is some omnipotent entity it should understand why we came to our thinking as we do.

It is not a matter of being right or wrong. When someone is on their death bed and not of sound mind it really doesn't matter if somebody with a certain religious view uses their view to make themselves feel better. Death is a difficult thing to face, so if someone has particular view why stand in the way of it? However, I do make a distinction here. If a person has stated clearly in the Do Not Resuscitate (DNR) or some other legal document that they do not want any religious rites of any kind then I think that the person's legal wishes must be maintained. Those who have certain religious views can practice them, but not on, or around, the person who is dead. It is a matter of respecting the person's last legal wish in death.

I don't think there's anything wrong with being angry. At the same time, if you can find it within yourself to let go of the anger, I think that might bring you some peace. I'm sure she did it to make herself feel better, but she is probably sincere in her belief too. It likely seems disrespectful to you, even if there's no chance baptism has any validity, but I think it can be seen humorously too — like if she had a mall Santa bring him gifts on his deathbed or prayed to SpongeBob SquarePants to protect your father's eternal soul. But since she's no longer part of your life, I think with time you'll be able to forget the anger you feel and focus on the man your father was when his mind was sharp. Good luck to you.

I know it's difficult, but when it comes to other people's actions one cannot and should not be attached to outcome. "Any kind of expectation creates a problem. We should accept but not expect. Whatever comes accept it. Whatever goes accept it. The immediate benefit is that your mind is always peaceful." --Sri Swami Satchidenada

Does it really matter? I would say no. It is especially not worth getting upset over. They splashed a little water on him and said some meaningless words. Nobody was hurt by it. If it made my loved one(s) feel better, I might even do it under these circumstances; not in consideration of Pascal's wager, but just to make them feel better. Fortunately, I don't have any whackos in my life that I'm that close to that would ask me to do this on my death bed!

For me this would be a dilemma of the unnecessary manufacture of suffering. Your suffering seems to be the regret that your mother did this and also that your relationship with her has been soiled as a result. Ultimately, you might like to ask yourself what real harm has been done? Additionally, you could look at owning your feelings and glancing at the irony of you removing your mother from your life because she did something that you disapproved of to feed her ego and now you are doing something to feed your ego? Nonetheless, it is tricky and I would hazard a guess that this is not the only reason that your relationship with her has soured. Kindly, Tim.

If your dad was not of sound mind, then it did not harm him. And if taking that step made his wife feel better, she has to deal with his loss as well, and her actions gave her a little bit of comfort.

Unfortunately for those who have to rely on the crutch of religion, certain things have to happen to get into heaven, and baptism is usually one of them. Don't be angry, feel pity. If this gave her some measure of happiness and it didn't hurt him, then really no harm has been done. It is sad that 21st century minds rely on first century rituals to function in day to day life.

I had an older brother that was atheist, although he was not out, and when he died my other older brothers had him buried in a catholic cemetery with all the catholic rituals. At the time I was very upset; however, in retrospect I'm sure that he would laugh his ass off knowing that he was an atheist in a catholic cemetery.

Well first off.......don't b on the fence........u can't say u don't believe in god and heaven u don't think well mayb there is something when u die ......u either believe or don't believe........simple.....it made her feel good so b it.....and the jesus freaks always have 2 b so dramatic when somebody dies
No u die u don't know it its like falling asleep and not waking up.......the only ppl ur dead r alive and they r sad........the only reason u know ur alive is bcause u woke up after being asleep.........and u don't know ur dead.........

I understand your frustration. Especially because his view on life was not respected. I don't think you need to ask yourself or anyone else what is or isn't correct about your reaction to that situation. Your instinct as your father's daughter and mother to your children is raw and honest. The ending of a life seems like such a huge part of one's existance, but if we just take a step back and remember the person as they lived their life and the impact they made in our own life, it's clear that the end does not define the person at all.

No, you re not wrong. She didn't respect your father....In fact, her actions were an insult to him and to his memory.

Perhaps your dad did this to make his current wife happy as a parting gift? If he was high on pain meds and chemo, then that was incredibly uncalled for if she did it to make herself feel happy. Because that's exactly what Jesus would have wanted.

In my opinion anything that happens after death is for those still living. I would feel bad about doing anything contrary to the wishes of the person who passed but if it provides them some comfort and I'm not in charge I don't worry about it.
If it bothers you, though, it might be worthy of a conversation at a later date, if for no other reason than to get your own feelings some air.

Yes, you made an issue, where it is clear why it happened and it made no difference in the final result. I consider super religious people superstitious and these types of people don't bother us otherwise. I agree, some take it to extremes and tend to create arguments every where they go, but in our inner being we are much farther ahead of them mentally and accept the fact they have a position that can clearly be proven inapplicable to most problems in life. Always be kind especially toward family, that will mean more to them than separation. I constantly help family members with problems, and they depend on me for that and say how can you be so giving being an atheist. I love to hear that.