I'm not religious and I let my premature baby boys get baptized so their great grandfather could feel better. It didn't hurt them, and made someone happy. It didn't matter to me.

I personally think that was disrespectful to his beliefs in life. However, I understand why she would want to do it. She wants to be with him in the afterlife and can't stand the possibility that he could suffer for eternity, away from her. When a person dies, they are not the ones to suffer after their death (that we know of). It is hardest for the people who carry on. That being said, I hope he didn't know what was going on when she did it. If that was the case, and there is an afterlife, he will forgive her. If there is nothing after death, then it doesn't matter what she did, because he won't exist to care.

She is an idiot who thinks a magic bath will make someone live forever, her delusion makes no difference to your Dad, laugh it off, all she has done is make a fool of herself.

It's not fair, nor is it really worth to carry the burden of the grudge. Just tell yourself the your dad's mind was Teflon covered..

I doubt a few passes of the hand and sprinkle of holy water will make much difference to his eternal soul. The disturbing point is that she knew his standpoint. That is certainly disrespectful, probably not to your father as an atheist he probably wouldn't have bothered one way or another. But disrespectful to you as you knew your father's beliefs but were overtaken by her personal belief. My sympathies for you

I think his wife is and was evil. But you are correct, she did it for herself. And I think you should avoid her.

I think that a god so powerful and all knowing could weigh the evidence of someones life--you know, the one he designed and created and knew what was going to happen before it does--against the final act of pouring water on someones head. It is an insane thought to think that what you do in life is pointless unless you say some magic words at the last minute and thats all that is needed to pass a test.

Wow, she pulled some Mormon church level shenanigans right there. Not cool.

My mother in law did the same with her catholic husband, badgering him to convert church of Christ. To me it was harsh and petty, but that is how she was taught to express love. The best part is you don’t have to deal with her, so yeah, don’t sweat it.

It’s very annoying, that’s for sure! My mother in law “Baptised” my son in our bathroom sink when she was staying at our house, helping my wife, whilst I was out in the Gulf. It made her feel better, I guess, as she was horrified that we were Atheist and would never get him properly baptised at their Catholic Church.

It would infuriate me because it is complete disregard for the person that was going through the death. It is at its core industrial. I'm sorry that happened to you and that you lost your dad.

What has it hurt? It’s not a question as to whether she’s right or wrong, but a question as to how she deals with her grief. Did he insist on not being baptized? If he was truly an atheist, then the baptism was meaningless anyway. This is fait accompli. I wouldn’t worry about it.

I wouldn't sweat it if they didn't hurt him during the baptism then they may as well have been having a birthday party or a Halloween party and you know bobbing for apples would have got him wet too. No harm no foul. You can think of it as being just for her, but religious people feel compelled to do these things for their salvation and the other person's salvation. I've never understood the idea of fearing a god who is supposed to love us but shows us very little love in actuality, based on the assumption of his existence. Enjoy the memories of your father as he was.

I'm so sorry this happened to you. (It didn't really happen to your dad...he was on his own path.) Your stepmother was doing something to make his death more comfortable for herself, and that's not really part of your dad's death, either. I'd write her a letter (mail it after reading it for a week) and express your thoughts about the way she disrespected his atheism. (Sounds very passive aggressive, if you ask me.)

Then...just close the door. She's not part of your life. All she's done is demonstrate her own superstition...and you don't care!

Unless there was negative affect of the baptism, as an Atheist, this may have been annoying but in reality it was a non-event. My adult son and I (both Atheists) frequently debate whether or not religion is benign or actually has a negative effect on people but we have only debated the topic for a couple years so no final conclusion.

She did a bad thing for what she thought was a good reason. I would forgive her. She must have cared for him.

Holy shit..yeah i said that. I would be upset but at the end of the day I suppose if that's how she had to cope...he won't care or know now....and all that is for the living. I have made it very clear i want to be donated 100 percent to science. If my survivors don't comply I will never know.

Dealing with one’s own death and the death of loved ones is very personal. Of course she did it for herself. The funerals we have are for the living to move on from the grief etc. As someone who deals with people dying and having to tell their family members this I have seen pretty much every reaction. Also, as a nontheist I still always ask if there is someone they want me to call for them_a friend, pastor, the Chaplin etc. At my previous hospital the Chaplin was an awesome guy who could hold very nonjudgmental conversations with anyone.

If your mother was a good person and she was a good wife and she was a good mother and he was no longer able to function and be conscious as a human being and it made her be able to cope better with the loss of her life mate... I'd let it slide

Are those really the only two choices? Seriously?

I let my ex-wife baptize our daughter when she was young. I figured it didn't hurt anything and made a lot of silly people happy. They were surprised that I didn't object. But when the minister asked if we wanted any bible quotes presented, I should have mentioned Psalms 137:9: "Blessed is he who seizes your infants and dashes them against the rocks".

Well.. .... what she did was completely wrong, but forgivable in my eyes. I'm a very forgiving person though. What did she actually accomplish? Nothing!!

When my grandma died her sister added some god crap in the wake. Grandpa when he died no wake no nothing. His ashes scattered across the sea. Grandma wanted the same no wake no god no big deal. I was annoyed but guess her brothers and sisters needed it. Mom was annoyed

No respect for others. That is the cornerstone of so many religious nutjobs. Worship your sky daddy all you want but keep your delusional ass away from me! My mom's funeral will be chocablock full of her religion because I respect her.

If there's no god and no soul to save, then how could it possibly matter to him, or to you? It could no longer have bothered him and it did make her feel better. She was losing her husband forever and was worried and hurt. No harm done. Not worth your anger.