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Are there things you want to change about yourself?

Are there things you want or actively work to change about yourself or do you simply accept who you are?

From a personality standpoint, I would love to change my temper. Try as I might, it might still often gets the best of me. From a more physical or chemical perspective, I still seek a cure for insomnia and occasional depression. Mostly I figure I am who I am at this point and change is unachievable.

I don't know if I would be a better person without these traits but I hold my father up as my role model and he certainly lacks my temper.

By BoingoOingo42
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41 comments

7

I want to stop being so hard on myself.

Why am I forgiving and kind to other people, but not to myself?

LiterateHiker Level 8 Aug 22, 2018
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Likewise

5

Get rid of cancer. Working on it now

confidentrealm Level 7 Aug 22, 2018
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Hugs , hon !

@Cast1es thanks. I got good news yesterday. It is stage 3, so I have a chance. Time to complete the bucket list.

3

One thing i would love to change would be to not have Schizoaffective disorder.
I would like to be normal.

TristanNuvo Level 7 Aug 22, 2018
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3
KKGator Level 9 Aug 22, 2018
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I love that song!

2

Only my underwear, which l do daily.

Sticks48 Level 8 Aug 22, 2018
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2

This is a question that I would have responded to far differently 10 years ago. At 25, I would have ignored this question, too proud to admit I wanted to look more normal. Now, I can tell you that yes, I want to change things about myself, but not.my scars and medical issues, but my quick temper and tendency to be unaware of others around me when deep in thought. Take from that what you will.

spidergrrljess Level 2 Aug 22, 2018
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2

I have been working on trying to change things about me since I was 20 years old. I ended up in the hospital at 19 after trying to kill myself so it was a matter of life and death for me. I've found I could change more than I ever dreamed of. I also found there are things about me that were programmed in childhood and I could only learn to mange them. They could never be changed in a way I would be free from fighting it. The first step is awareness and way to many people have little to no real awareness. They will spend there lives bouncing around only running on preprogrammed responses to their environment and seem totally without any control over it. They will feel like a victim and blame others for the place they are in. They often feel that people that admit they aren't prefect are just weak but it's really the opposite is true. It takes a lot of bravery to see what you truly are, accept it, and then fight to change it. It's a fight few people will really have the strength to fight because its a nonstop battle that must be kept up for life in many cases. I have certainly not won most of the fights to change myself. I lose the will for short periods but I truly understand how important the fight is to me. If you do not say to yourself and others you are wrong with any regularity you really aren't looking at yourself very hard. It's humbling to do so, often admitting it to yourself is the hardest part. It doesn't feel good to be humbled but it's good for you. I promise you will start to think more about what you say and do if you are humbled enough.

JesseBoren Level 7 Aug 22, 2018
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Good luck and best wishes for success. Sorry to hear about you earlier life troubles. May you have a long, happy and healthy life.

2

My brain chemistry.

Countrywoman Level 8 Aug 22, 2018
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2

I'd like a few more inches.

godef Level 7 Aug 22, 2018
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Please clarify.

@Donotbelieve I intentionally left that vague. 😉

@godef drats

@Donotbelieve Alright, my fingers!

@godef giggle giggle

2

Nothing and everything.

Nothing: Amor Fati.

Everything: Stagnation is death. Always evolve and grow. The mind, learning, wisdom get ever better as I age. Keep learning.

Mitch07102 Level 7 Aug 22, 2018
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2

I'd like to be kinder, but I also like to be honest. No idea how to do both simultaneously.

Donotbelieve Level 8 Aug 22, 2018
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2

I would banish my social anxiety so I could have close friends who weren't relatives.
There is hope though, we change daily in small increments and large changes can be brought about over time.
You can change yourself, give yourself time and the attitude to do so.

MacTavish Level 7 Aug 22, 2018
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2
 You can change. It won't be by thoughts and prayers. How do you speak to yourself? Are there situations that you put yourself into that you know you will fail?
As for me i would physically like to change my percent body fat (hopefully in the opposite way than it has been going for the last twelve years) . personality wise i would like to change over thinking and negativity/apathy
Quazi Level 6 Aug 22, 2018
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2

Just about everything

weelittleone Level 6 Aug 22, 2018
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2

While there's always room for improvement , there's too little time left for any major changes .

Cast1es Level 8 Aug 22, 2018
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I disagree. You potentially have twenty years (or so) left (unless you have some medical condition we're not aware of). Remember all you accomplished during the first twenty years of your life? You can still make major changes if you really want to. Please don't get old before your time. In truth, I'm talking to myself as well as to you (we're only four years apart in age). I'm thinking that when you stop striving to change, you might as well lie down and die.

@RobLawrence Was born with an undersized lower rear aorta artery , which has since totally closed off . Had a TIA . Am diabetic . Failing kidneys . Osteoarthritis . Have had a lot of procedures done on my eyes . Had surgery on my spine both at waist and neck . Had a toe and a half amputated . I am two years under the average life expectancy for females in this culture . And my younger brother is in worse condition than I am . I don't expect either of us to last much longer . While I'm still living on my own , it keeps getting more difficult .One foot in the grave and the other on a banana peel , so to speak .

@Cast1es OMG!!! I am so, so sorry to hear this. What a litany of medical issues! And I thought I was bad with my 41 years of Type I diabetes and my chronic prostatitis! I wish there were something I could say or do to lessen your burden. And here I am thinking I may have actually increased your anguish by posting my airy-fairy, Pollyannaish drivel above. Please accept my apology. Just goes to show that you never know what it's like to walk in another's shoes. If you ever need an "ear", you can private message me. I'm told I'm a good "listener". Regards, Rob

@RobLawrence Mom died last year . She was 99.5 . I have no expectations of reaching anywhere near her age . I have , on the other hand , already outlived my father , both my Grandmothers , and I'm reasonably certain , my Grandfathers . I am a realist . I try very hard to accept things at face value . There is absolutely nothing wrong with having a cheery and upbeat outlook , so you are doing fine ! A portion of my problems deals with constant pain , and another portion deals with ongoing reduction of abilities . With my , "little," brother running ahead of me , I have a clear idea of how to prepare for my future , and continue to have adjustments made to my home and my lifestyle to keep things doable for me . At present , I'm having a portion of my rear deck enclosed , and as a part of that remodeling , they're adding push button door openers . They're adding ramps at both the outer doors , the inner doors , and a new tridirectional ramp at the door between the kitchen and garage . I've also recently looked into having the grocery store deliver my food to the house . But for the present I can still handle grocery shopping and laundry . I like being independent , and love my home , so don't want to move into an assisted living home , if I can avoid it . I'm most definitely not a people person , and have no desire to have others telling me how to run my life . So for the present , and my immediate future , I'm taking care of myself . I am not afraid of dying , it will make the pain go away , and either return my mobility or I will no longer need to be mobile . Who knows ? In the meantime , I have a few good friends , for rare occasions , when I want to do something with friends , a pair of warm cuddly cats , who love to pile on top of me for our naps , a van which accepts my scooter , so I can go when and where I feel like . This past spring I went to Comicpalooza , we held a LARP event at my home , I have a weekly D&D game , I have an assistant who comes out for half a day each week who helps me care for the backyard . Mowers handle the side and front yards . Pool-boys take care of the pool ( and give me hugs . Hey , wanna go skinny dipping ? ) . I plan to go to Renn Fest soon . We'll have another LARP event here sometime around Halloween . So , yeah , I don't think I'll be doing much in the way of self improvement , or any real long term projects . At this point , I've been responsible , I've done my share and I deserve some fun .

2

Nah, pertect in every way. Like Mary Poppins.

Clare Level 7 Aug 21, 2018
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2

Anyone who doesn't think they could improve is an egomaniac of some degree, because they think they're perfect already. That said, it's important to accept your own imperfections as part of yourself and part of being human, or you'll never be happy.

It's a fine line. Striving to improve and accepting that you'll never be perfect are the two sides of the coin to being human.

Paul4747 Level 7 Aug 21, 2018
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2

Yes, I would love to have long legs

helionoftroy Level 7 Aug 21, 2018
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Aren't yours long enough to reach the floor?

Edited

@mcgeo52 not when I sit

1

Oh, boy. I don't have the time or the patience to share everything I want to change.

metalicious1986 Level 5 Sep 14, 2018
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1

i assume you mean character traits and not, for example, weight loss, which would be a good thing for me to work on.

i am impatient by nature and that's one thing i would like to change.

another is my ptsd, which stops me from getting some of the medical attention i need. i hope i can bring myself to go through with the endometrial biopsy i have scheduled for monday. if i could let them take blood when they needed it and administer anesthesia when that is necessary, my life would be easier. of course the former is a problem that extended beyond my cooperation, because even if i get brave and cooperate, my veins don't (they roll, and they don't produce, and yes i hydrate) and if anyone gets any blood out of me, it coagulates in the medium in the vial before it can be tested. but i wish i could do my part better anyway.

g

genessa Level 7 Sep 14, 2018
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1

I want to change how my facial hair grows.

RickWard Level 5 Sep 1, 2018
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1

I have weirdy moments when I have doubts about how i come across to others, and then I catch myself on, and think, was it a catastrophe? No! then its nothing to worry about . I think if other people can't cope with me its not my problem to solve it for them unless they want to have a real negotiation or stay out of my range.

jacpod Level 8 Aug 28, 2018
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1

Age.

My outlook, behavior, and thought process are well within my standards for acceptable outcome.

However, the perception of time is not linear. Every year moves faster then the year before.

I remember watching "Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer" The movie took hours. Now, to watch the same movie would take perceived seconds. The time between date-markers such as x-mas season are reduced to small blinks in a short day.

Although in good health with a good probability of a few decades of productive life left, perspectively speaking, I have very few days left on this earth.

NoMagicCookie Level 7 Aug 26, 2018
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1

Maybe be less sarcastic?

Spinliesel Level 8 Aug 24, 2018
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1

Hoo, testify brother on the temper and depression. Unfortunately, my dad was definitely a role model for my poor behaviour.

MrBeelzeebubbles Level 6 Aug 23, 2018
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