Agnostic.com

35 8

Open relationships

Do you have an open relationship? If so why? What benefits do you think it has?
Do you agree with them?

We are swingers and have met people alone, the social side is the best bit, sex is a bonus. The freedom it gives is amazing, to be a couple but free to be ourselves. Builds trust and respect.

Must admit it is a turn on though thinking of my wife being naughty. Just wish i had as many offers as she does lol

By StephenRussell6
Actions Follow Post Like

Post a comment Add Source Add Photo

Enjoy being online again!

Welcome to the community of good people who base their values on evidence and appreciate civil discourse - the social network you will enjoy.

Create your free account

35 comments

Feel free to reply to any comment by clicking the "Reply" button.

11

I think people should be able to choose monogamy or non-monogamy without judgement by others or judging others. As long as you’re honest with your partner(s) straight on.

I’m in a more or less open poly relationship. I can’t imagine living any other way. Anyone wanting some form of relationship with me is informed that right at the very beginning.

graceylou Level 8 Sep 25, 2018
7

Life is complicated enough with just one partner at a time.

Deb57 Level 7 Sep 27, 2018
7

Not my thing. All open relationships I've known about have come to a bad end sooner or later. To each their own.

Paracosm Level 8 Sep 25, 2018
7

It’s not something I could be comfortable with at this time in my life due to my own insecurities. That being said, I am very interested in and curious about swinger parties and if I was in a relationship I would enjoy exploring that together.

I respect couples that are open and honest and make it work. Kudos to you and your special lady

We are swingers but on and off, you get good and bad experiences. But tbh that side of things the social bit and being able to talk about it is the best bit. X

6

Apart from the disease risk, I've never understood the stigma of open relationships. You can have emotional monogamy without physical exclusivity. It's religion that's repurposed sexual pleasure so that it's off limits to anyone who isn't making babies inside of a committed relationship.

It's nice to have a regular partner, but it's also fun and exciting to have new ones every once in a while. To be honest, when I end up pushed into a monogamous relationship (as happens from time to time: I'm willing to give it up for someone who has potential) I miss the thrill of the chase (or, rather, the thrill of being chased) more than the actual sex.

^^First paragraph: nailed it. I follow paragraph #2 in philosophy only, not lived experience.

"You can have emotional monogamy without physical exclusivity. "

You can in theory. I think the practice of that is much harder, at least ime. Some people appear to be able to manage that. I'll be honest, thought I could too, but ultimately wasn't able. That amount of compartmentalization sounds intellectually rational, but I found that my heart operated differently.

To each their own and you do. But if anyone reading this is considering experimenting, I think my advice is to go slow so you can overcome emotional landmines that may surprise you. You may not realize how different your emotional life is from your intellectual life until it's challenged.

4

If people were mature and open minded open relationships could work..and actually be extremely healthy and beneficial for all party's involved

4

I've always been monogamous but I acknowledge that human beings don't seem to be designed for it. Consider that we're in heat year round and we live, on average, about 75-78 years. That's not really a recipe for monogamy.

Couldn't agree more.

4

Open relationships? I don't even get closed ones lol.

motrubl4u Level 7 Sep 26, 2018
4

I've experienced both and I can honestly say I am most comfortable with an open/poly relationship...the level of freedom and peace of mind it affords when jealousy is not an issue is beyond anything i ever achieved in a monogamous relationship...granted, its not for everyone but for those that understand and embrace it ... there is no better way than to simply "let go"... of the rules we were raised by...
As long as we do no harm we are free to make our own rules...morally we are no different...we just approach the relationship from outside the box.

4

Nah, doesn't work for me. Not opposed to it if it works for other people though smile001.gif

ipdg77 Level 8 Sep 25, 2018
4

It's not for me at all. That being said, you do you.

4

To each their own. If it makes you and your partner happy, good on ya.

KKGator Level 9 Sep 25, 2018
3

I never had an open relationship, but it's something I would have been open to explore--with the right person, under the right circumstances. Probably wouldn't work in this town: too small and conservative. I like the idea of having the option, though.

3

I only want open relationships. There is no such thing as monogamy. They all turn out to be open anyway.

3

I am open to the concept, but not sure how it would actually pan out. I can go from free-love to jealous bitch in 42 seconds.

3

I am open to a relationship, yes. Wait, that's not your question ?

Spongebob Level 7 Sep 26, 2018
3

It's a redefinition of intimacy and relationship that is in opposition the the current pedigodgy but also could prove the way forward in the social progress towards true sexual equality. There are male strengths and female strengths that differentiate the sexes but that should not give one superiority over the other. Open relationships allow for greater freedom but may be difficult for some to accept because of what they have been conditioned to believe. I do think it's an evolutionary step forward.

Tompain1 Level 7 Sep 25, 2018
3

I'm fairly new to the lifestyle, I've only been non monagomous for a few years. My partner has been way longer, which has really helped my transition. I jumped right in with both feet hoping it would save a failing marriage (I knew the odds and the eventual outcome), it did not.
Fast forward a year, I met my current partner of almost 2 years now.
We moved quick, but established clear communication. That was the key, clear and constant communication.
All that to answer the questions above.
I'm in an open relationship because it fits who I am currently, it allows me to connect with someone on that level and still experience new things and new people. It forces me to confront my ego and keep myself in check. It allows me to explore the polyamorous curiosity I have. It has given me a new perspective on relationships and has helped remove that stain religion and society has put on sex with multiple partners.

xtian Level 2 Sep 25, 2018
2

My husband and I love the lifestyle!

zesty Level 7 Oct 1, 2018

So glad to hear that you love the lifestyle, we have had ups and downs but still such a great way to be, actually brings you closer and no jealousy and free to be ourselves.

2

Seems like a minefield to me. Best of luck to you. Be happy!

2

One of my bestest friends is a woman i met in '92. We have long lunches and talk about everything. Never any sexual stuff.
The wife has male friends. And no sex.

My first marriage was much different. I miss being younger, sometimes.

Jacar Level 7 Sep 25, 2018
2

My partner is and always has been in monogomus relationships. I have done both. I enjoy poly relationships, and I miss the freedom to have interest in someone and be able to pursue it. I do respect my partner being mono and we have been mono for 11 years. He is great about me talking about having feelings for other people. We keep it and there is no jealousy regarding my feelings. I'm not sure which I prefer.

1

Thanks guys, more replies than i expected. Tbh its the ability to go out with opposite sex and not have the issue jealousy. If all on same page its all good, but not all about sex which is what most people believe.

1

I don't judge other people. If it works out for them, that's cool. But I couldn't have intercourse with more than one partner in a relationship.

UrsiMajor Level 8 Sep 26, 2018
1

I slept with a woman who was in an open relationship. Although it was fun, I never understood the utility of an open relationship.

JanGarber Level 7 Sep 25, 2018

The terms 'utility' and 'fun' are, essentially, mutually exclusive, are they not? Or, maybe there's a book to be written on the 'utlility OF fun?'

@p-nullifidian no, no... utility is something your Tool has, and if you're not having fun with your Tool, it's not being utilized properly.

@xylophonix Tool's one of my favorite bands! smile009.gif

Write Comment
You can include a link to this post in your posts and comments by including the text 'q:186686'.
Agnostic does not evaluate or guarantee the accuracy of any content read full disclaimer.
  • Agnostic.com is a non-profit community for atheists, agnostics, humanists, freethinkers, skeptics and others!