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How do you deal with bullies?

There's a lot of them in the atheism community - not necessarily specifically on this site (actually, on average, this site seems to have fewer) - just in general. Specifically, I mean people who belittle and demean you, though if you want to discuss physical ones, I'd be happy to listen. Hope you're all safe.

PolyWolf 7 Sep 29
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39 comments

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0

I would walk across the street to avoid a bully. Fifty years ago I would just beat the holy snot out of them. The problem with me fighting today is that I'm older and even if I win I might look the worst out of the deal. It's not worth it.

4

Tell them to fuck off. I'm not in school anymore, but I get them in the form of customers in my job and thats what I do to them.

Cosmo Level 4 Sep 29, 2018
4

For a bully, I call them out, every time. I am the one making the scene, and I tune out my surroundings and tell him to look directly at me. So far, they have always backed down. I'm a grown adult now, but since I'm not 6-foot-anything people feel like they can pick on me, to their disappointment.

4

I confront them.

3

online I block them. people can think what they think and feel what they feel, I am under no obligation to listen.

in the real world, I never deal with them, unless they will not let me walk away, the I burn them down, however I can, mentally, verbally, or physically.

bullies do not deserve tolerance. intolerance never deserves tolerance.

3

I generally give them exactly what they give me, with a 30% increase. Most bullies arent very bright, they rely on intimidation. They also tend (not always) to be cowardly.

3

Online, I put them in there place with facts and logic. In real life I do the same even if things get physical. I also hate hate hate seeing others get bullied and will stand up for them if need be. I can't help it. I despise bullies.

3

Mockery. Sustained, hopefully public, mockery. One thing all bullies hate is to be laughed at.

3

It really depends on the mood I'm in when I come across these people.
Most of the time, I'll just walk away, because there is really no point engaging with most people like that. If I'm feeling particularly feisty, I'll make them cry.

2

Bullies come in all shapes, sexes, sizes, and ages. I have had recent adult bullies in real life that kept me traumatized, a boss and ex, that it caused both physical symptoms and mental problems. Leaving or getting away is often the best way if it someone entwined in your life. However, some people do not have the access to new jobs or the ability to move. Often, no one knows how to deal with a real bully or has the choice or the bravery to make a stand. In schools the bully and the victim both need attention. Standing up to bullies does not always work. However, they do prey sometimes on people that are vulnerable in some way. It is not the way a person that is bullied acts that causes a bully. They have gotten rewarded at some time for making others miserable, or have seen someone get away with it. There are, "popular bullies," in school in which the other children support the bullies.

2

For those of you who said you don't deal with bullies or don't know any at all on this site, there's a post right now in politics that is clearly bullying. It's bullying against those of us who have experienced sexual assault. If you who don't take truck with bullies actually listened to anyone else, you'd be there calling this person out for his horribleness. There are others like him in the comments, too. There are a few people from here calling them out, which I appreciate deeply, but for the most part, posts like that add only pain to the community.

2

Knowing you don't deserve it, just like no one deserves it, is probably the first most important thing in protecting yourself. As several said, it depends on the situation where you go from there. "Bullies" and "victims" both show the same list of symptoms more often then others: anxiety, depression, substance abuse, suicide rates etc. People who hurt others are also hurt themselves. I know that conscious forgiveness is allows people to let go of some of that anger, helps gets that hook out of you, allows for progress. If you can't forgive others, how do you forgive yourself when you mess up? Bc we all do and we all need that forgiveness. I wish there was a magic answer for all situations on how to make people just be good to each other, realize its wrong to hurt each other. We are happier when we are nice to each other.

2

The last time I had deal with a bully, I beat the crap out of him. He never bothered me again.

2

Depends . Atheist or religious , does not matter to me other than determining your intelligence level . That's that .

Now . Talking to me or about me in a threatening or demeaning way , bothers me very litle next to none .
If u r not my best friend in life or my family , chances are u r not very important . Therefore , pls talk your heart away , I am smiling .
However . Talk about anyone I love and care for in life, including strangers who are minors or elderly or in any vulnerable position , and congrats , u ve made an enemy for life .
Most important . Lay a hand and harm any of my friends and family , and who ever of us survive will end in jail . The grand winner will meet Jesus . I have nothing to lose and don't care for Jesus either ?

2

In high school, I stuck up to my bully. She threw the first punch. She got suspended. We were fine after that. I whole heartedly believe that most bullies need a taste of their own medicine or shown that their behavior won't be tolerated. Unfortunately, you can't tell those bullies from the ones that bully due to a bad home life.

2

irl face to face questioning re what they meant online fck whats the point, though i have hunted people down using metadata included in pics and freaked them out with street names etc make sure you strip all data people

internet skillz will stop an internet bully 99% of the time.

not a hacker myself, but I used to have friends that would handle shit like that, and an internet tough guy will calm right the fuck down when you post their address in an open chat.

2

Flame throwers are fairly effective.

2

No way to deal with physical bullies except violence. All you can do is hunker down and try to enjoy the parts of life they can't destroy so much it preserves your sanity.

Internet bullies are rather fun. I usually just point out how wrong and stupid what they say is until they go away or I grow bored. They are cowards and sadists that will never outgrow high-school. If you don't like 'em, block 'em.

2

The only bully in my life is Donald Trump. By way of coping I try to set up little monuments to him. One a day, on average. Each representation is an homage to the ephemeral nature of the man in office, who will one fine day be whisked away to oblivion as each monument is, only moments after construction, with a mere turn of a diminutive chrome handle.

2

If you are talking about online bullying, just ignore and scroll...

If you are talking about physical abuse (although I don't personally know of any Atheists that are), get the police involved.

The Police are there to write up the "after action report". Your safety is your personal responsibility.
If you are on the small side, a woman, an elder.... buy a gun, learn how to use it, carry it always.

@bigpawbullets I literally sleep with an AR-15. Sometimes I sleep in a wooden chair with it by me.

@TheGreatShadow
I guess we may be brothers.
😉

@bigpawbullets Two unprovoked assaults resulting in two ER visits.. They say the third time is a charm. I'll get him before he gets me! The guy is still pending trial. The restraining order makes a bullet more justified. Better not break in my house. All I have to say.

2

I avoid them mostly. I'm talking in real life. At my age if I get a reaction out of some punk bully he must really envy me a lot. I've had that and he jumps around and wants to beat my ass. People who think he is kool are all smiling and crap. I ignore it and make my point and he then looks like the idiot that he is. It's all over then.

Online super smart and educated Republicons seem to want to counter my remarks on Trump and the boys with ideas that "I might not be a citizen." (I'm serious.) I think they want to force me to show my birth certificate.

2

I stand up to them directly. I publicly label their behavior for what it is in front of others, or I give them the choice of changing their behavior before I expose them. .

1

To quote Mark Twain, “Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience.”

1

Depends on the situation. Most times I just ignore them. Rare occasions will it ever get physical. Bullies are cowards.

1

I don't, I'm not in school anymore.

1

Poorly

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