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Dating dealbreakers

What are your dating dealbreakers? That is, what characteristics absolutely remove a potential partner from consideration?

A2Jennifer 8 Jan 29

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Bad hygiene, being a bad human, religious zealot, Trumpanzee, drama llama, narcissist, psycho or sociopath. I'll start with those...

Trumpanzee - LOL

Thanks for Trumpanzee.

Oh my figurative god Trumpanzee is an absolute gift

there are many really

@jeffy OMG I will so use Trumpanzee!


Well, she has to be breathing.


there are standards and then there are standards.

Good to know! rofl

@RavenCT well there are laws!

@HippieChick58 you have to draw a line somewhere.

I'd never meet anyone if I had those standards...
"So is your sepulcher spruced up or wha'?"

@HippieChick58 And Never Lower Them. Never.


Bad personal hygiene, Baby Mama Drama. Kids still at home. Substance abuse issues and by that I do not mean occasional usage. Chronic unemployment. Fiscal irresponsibility. Choosing NOT to read. Bad grammar. Too much excess baggage, we all have some but please have it downsized to carry on. Distance. Being a Republican or worse a fan of Der Donaldo.

Lovely spouse doesn't like reading; she likes video and podcasts. It was our first crying fight, how to spend that last couple of hours together every night before sleep. We worked it out instead of letting "Scrubs" ruin us.

@josh_karpf I won't have a TV in my bedroom. I don't keep a computer in the bedroom either, except for the cell phone. I usually read a chapter or two before sleep, or three, or... well if it is a weekend.

@HippieChick58 I hope the phone is at least 8 feet from your head.

@FrayedBear Well, sadly it isn't. It is also my alarm clock so it is within arm's reach. And yes I know it should be,

Yup, yup, and yup! Every single one of yours would be on my list that I don't have to make now! Thanks @hippiechick58!

@BlueWave Glad to help out!


Smoker. Evangelical. Adult children at home. Dog hater. Animal hater. Ultra conservative.


Voted for Trump

godef Level 7 Jan 29, 2018

Biggest deal breaker for me, lack of vagina. I say that humorously, but it is true.

ya like what ya like.

I would have agreed but I have dated a girl who had a condition that required removal, it was hard, and sympathy ruled, so it wasn't a deal breaker,but I think having a penis would be.

@Rugglesby dealbreaker for me is either penis intact or removed.

Dude. What. The. Hell. Happened.

@ChrisCamper @FrayedBear It was a precancerous condition called vulval intra-epithelial neoplasia and it is a most terrible thing for a woman to go through, the surgery is extreme and even if possible sex is unlikely as both parties would be put off. And yes, it all gets removed quite often.

I went out for three months with a woman with endometriosis, the hormonally sparked autoimmune misery that she described as “a thousand tiny pickaxes,” which made penetration painful for her.

Ironically, pregnancy temporarily cures it, but I didn’t want kids. Yay oral; the kid issue was the real dealbeaker. (More on that, with my penultimate girlfriend, above.) (Haha, I said “penultimate.&rdquo😉

@Rugglesby Oh my sad. 😟


Having a murder charge within the last year

Lmao @ within the last year.

IMO there are worse crimes than murder....genocide, environmental irreperable destruction, animal extinction, colonisation, rape, governmental dereliction of duty in health, housing for all, etc.

@FrayedBear oh yah. I would never date a corporate politician or dictator

@Rudy1962 Still leaves a few million undesirables you have not excluded. 🙂


Poor personal hygiene is a big non-starter.


People who litter, consistently dirty fingernails, being rude/disrespectful to waitstaff/customer service providers, drug dependency (script or illegal)

Agree with all of it except for the fingernails comment. Am a bus mechanic and it's almost impossible to keep my fingernails clean.

I would make an exception in the case of someone who performed a job that required them to get dirty. The fingernail remark was more of a hygiene issue, not manual labor. I cooked at a restaurant a million years ago. It was impossible to get the smell of onions off my hands.


Not having the ability to compromise, anger issues. I can deal with some anger issues but when you start punching things, we have a problem. And controlling, you can be controlling in the bedroom to a degree, but the moment you start trying to control who I hang out with and what I wear? Bye bye.

Yup! And, on that note, I know for a fact I don't want to be with a submissive/un-dominant/same ol' same ol' lover ever again.

@BlueWave More fun to switch that up anyway, Have read enough on the subject that a lot of men would benefit from some domination in the bedroom for stress relief. (So do women). And I don't mean whips and chains. (Think Fifty Shades - that was a really vanilla version of Dom/Sub). Not that most people get that.


Having kids (I know, I'm a heartless witch), drug or alcohol dependency, jobless, no ambition, clingy.

I feel obligated to tell my younger friends that don't have kids that they don't have to have kids.

What if they had no ambition because they won at their career already?

All those -- but I'm okay if the kids are self-sufficient adults.

@Atheistman I'm cool with that.

@ChrisCamper I suppose that would be OK as long as they have something else they are passionate about or at least interested in.


Lying about the important stuff. Little white lies to prevent ruining someone's day are ok - lying on big issues? Nope.

I am right there with you -- well almost. I actually don't like little white lies either and always try to find an alternative to lying. Sometimes that means deflecting. I believe in Meaning What you Say and Saying What You Mean and I try to practice radical honestly. And, sometimes I choose to keep my mouth closed.

@BlueWave I have to admit keeping my mouth closed is a definite go to. However when someone asks me "How's my hair?" and they've had a knit cap welded to their head due to the weather? I tend to lie. It might be a New England Thing? Though I believe I did say "Like you have hat head." at least once. I was fairly certain they wanted an honest answer.

@RavenCT LOL!!! That's funny! See, I just don't think people should ask stuff like that. Just my opinion. 🙂

@BlueWave Does this make me look fat? OMG! Why? Why ask that! The horror! lol - But I also don't wear hats - well except for a few hattery hats - but not in a while. I have too damn much hair now to wear hats. It became curly after radiation and it just doesn't fit! Have never in my life asked "Does this make me look fat?". I might ask - "Is this straining at the seams?" but that's pertinent info.! lol And I can't see my own arse. Had a really embarrassing situation in third grade when someone dropped me a from a piggy back and my rear seam on my corduroy bell bottoms just let go, Frankly I'm pretty clear on what makes me look bad? lol

@RavenCT LOL!! Yup -- all that!

Yikes! How embarrassing! 🙂


Deal breakers: Repukelican, not circumcised, bad teeth, lives with his parent(s), jobless (unless retired), cat hater, adamant home body. I'm sure there are more; hence, why I'm single!! Thank goodness I ADORE my own company!! 😉

When I was young, I remember having the very common "Ewwwww" reaction to even the idea of an uncircumcised penis. But, as I got older and wiser, I find nothing at all to dislike about it.

In fact, were I to have a male child today, he would not get circumcised. I just believe the science -- no medical reason to do so, so why mutilate it. (Just my opinion.)

Not sure if my first message reply went through, but I will again state: the only thing I want to peel and eat is a banana.

Yeah, you don’t have to LOVE cats but you have to be ok with mine!

@SKDeitch I actually DO make my preference known WAY before I'm in bed with someone.

@SKDeitch I actually DO make my preference known WAY before I'm in bed with someone.

@SKDeitch Differences are what the make world go 'round. I appreciate honesty and openness, so I am always honest and open. To a fault, maybe, but I yam what I yam.

I'd go out with almost anyone; dinner is different than sleeping with someone.


Hailing live to the 45. I get if you're conservative, but he's a fucking idiot.
Phone/Social Media addiction (not because I have any sort of moral hang up... cuz, like, I have my own vices, but this isn't one of them; let's share in our self-destruction...)
Stuff that's commoner: criminal charges, drugs beyond pot, is a baby, has a penis.


This is hard actually, I know many things about me would be deal breakers for well over 90% of women, so I try not to be judgemental, but the first page of deal breakers would include any form of addiction (bloody auto correct, took 3 attempts)with the exception of coffee and sex (might find more exceptions), lying, severe mental illness - I am over exposed to this one, self centred, unkind,

@FrayedBear thanks mate, I am not used to auto correct.


Bad hygiene, being a bad human, religious zealot, Trumpanzee, drama llama, narcissist, psycho or sociopath. I'll start with those...


Racism will end a date in a matter of seconds. Rabid support for the Cheeto in Chief would end the possibility of continued dating and so would evangelical behavior. Other than that the normal stuff... a poor attitude, rudeness, bad hygiene...

lol lol lol gasp Cheeto in Chief!!! lol lol lol rotflmao

  1. No self-respect,
  2. Hunchback
    (Order not important)

Well I guess we could just read each other's profiles but I loved @AdorkableMe 's 'trumpanzee'. I am so using that.



  • inability to have a good conversation
  • lack of interest in others / only self-interested
  • rudeness, especially to food servers and other service workers
  • classist / racist / etc
  • hypocritical / double standards
  • unkind
  • no appreciation for music (their tastes don't have to agree with mine, but not liking music at all?? Clearly soulless
  • has a laundry list of deal breakers (lol)

That was funny! I agree with all this!


Well, from just reflecting on the kinds of people I don't get along with, I would say someone who lacks compassion; someone who is controlling and tries to tell me what to believe; someone who is critical. If they diminish others or bust boundaries, I'm not a big fan.

I like people who are passionate and ambitious; self-improvers; self-educators. People who are positive and respectful.


Going to answer my own question - most have to do with incompatible values: Trump supporter, uneducated, catholic/evangelical/religious fanatic, science deniers, still married/involved with someone else. Axis II Personality disorders.

Thank you!! So many people don't answer their own questions -- I love it when people do!! 🙂


Deal breakers?
Being Republican,
being dull and fussy,
being flabby and out of shape,
gorging on junk food,
not reading, or caring about knowing things,
no curiosity.

Also if they've not traveled,
hate animals,
if someone is a hunter, or golfer
Don't care about the environment or green solutions.
Has kids still at home
Not self-supporting
unhealthy, lives to eat
low IQ
Takes orders from mothers or exes
seems mentally unstable, takes meds
substance abuser


Bland topics of conversation, low vocabulary skills, squeaky voice, cursing if I wanted to hear the F word every other word I would stop by a prison. if she does not like kids, I can't have anymore, mine are always with me. dose not care for animals.

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