Religion is like a penis.
; ) ; ) ; ) This cracked me up.
264
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139 comments
Feel free to reply to any comment by clicking the "Reply" button.When it's hard you get fucked and when it's soft you can't beat it
lerlo
Level 8
May 17, 2018
3
So you never had your limp penis beaten? Oh my, did I really answer that?!
@girlwithsmiles naughty girl...
@lerlo sorry, how will my Christian guilt about sex allow me to live with the shame!!
@girlwithsmiles good sex cures all...didnt Aristotle know any bad women?
@lerlo perhaps bad women don't repent? I'm obviously good 
@girlwithsmiles and that's the same smirk you had on your face when you typed it...
@girlwithsmiles ladies you’ll open the flood gates to every distasteful jokes you ever heard (irony)
Religion IS like a penis. It can really fuck you (up).
Maxwell55
Level 5
Feb 9, 2018
24
Well said and accurate!
I love it ....
♥
Eventually all Penises are buried 6' under in a grave yard or cremated and turned to dust.
So what's Religion waiting for...!
Hi there !
Friend you're definately right ! ))
Eloquent and disturbing at the same time, lol. To think my penis has a god makes me consider chopping it off.
nvrnuff
Level 8
Mar 25, 2018
0
@silvereyes Well, I won't deny it's right to have a religion, but it's about the only way I can think of to withdraw my support. lol
Lols, betcha don't but
@girlwithsmiles You'd win that bet.
For some people religion is a penis!
kensmile4u
Level 8
Feb 7, 2018
2
@VictoriaNotes So my neighbor a long time ago had an abusive husband, who she convinced to go to promisekeepers so they could help him get right with God. Guess that's why he ended up losing his kids and getting divorced.
@VictoriaNotes If they were dedicated to being christlike by having no offspring, I would fully support them.
Is happiness a warm gun?
RussellRay
Level 2
Jan 17, 2019
0
No, but gun control is hitting your target!
(My first time with a 9mm)
@Rustee Pretty good! At what distance?
@Santanaman9 - Thank you! I don't remember the distance, but it wasn't all that far... I was just learning about my handgun, so my instructor probably had me fairly close to the target!
@Rustee That's good for a short distance. I was curious enough to wonder if longer, perchance, so I had to ask. Keep up the good practices!
I think religion is more like a vagina:
- You enter the church and get comfortable.
- You try to last the full 45 mins til mass is over.
- You fail and fall asleep.
- You give the pastor money before you leave.
I'm not sure if that makes religion more like a vagina or a Taiwanese hooker but you get the idea.
Sgt_Spanky
Level 8
Aug 28, 2018
9
@Brascan The fact is the comparison would work with a hooker of any nationality but I'm partial to Asians so...
must be a really boring hooker if you fall asleep, why would you pay her?
Religion is like a vagina.
It's ok to have one and to be proud of it.
But don't walk around showing it off and acting if yours is the only one that matters.
phil21
Level 7
Feb 7, 2018
9
Wait a minute! Men have been showing/bragging/putting up statues and monuments of penises for eons and yet the vagina has been kept covered, secret and denigrated for way too long. Perhaps that's where the problem lies and it's just another example of religion and male domination gone wrong. Vagina's should be respected and honored more. They have been suppressed so much that even women don't understand much about them. It's unbelievable, the # of men and women that don't understand such things as the importance of the clitoris (or if it even exists) and the commercials and misinformation about hygiene and how it should smell (natural)! Now, back to the cute jokes. 
@jorj they really had their heads on straight. Sex should be highly regarded and valued by all people.
@frosty2k There's something fishy about this reply...
Religion is connected to 90percent of the world"s wars. Don't those bullets and missiles look like penises?
Castlepaloma
Level 8
Feb 7, 2018
6
Only 90%? I'd suspect it's higher than that!
Actually the cult Government and Centro Bankers tool Religion. In order to fear control and enslaved most of us.
Yes, as George Carlin pointed out at least once on stage. I still miss him.
Mom, what's a penis?
DZhukovin
Level 7
July 7, 2018
2
It kills me when the religious right complains about what they are supposed to tell their kids about some pee pee parts issue. We'll, maybe, just maybe, it called being a parent. Of course, they ignore other pee pee parts issues when it's their guy saying something vulgar...cough, Trump, cough.
Religion is like a penis? I beg to differ. I don't like religion.
Islandgurl
Level 6
Apr 5, 2018
12
Why dislike religion? It may really mean nothing but, like penis, can make you feel good! It's all in how you perceive and use it.
if I read it too hard I will go blind?
JeffMesser
Level 8
June 5, 2018
9
Clever
funny!
I dunno about this. A penis is actually useful.
d_day
Level 7
May 21, 2018
11
And dual-purpose
Or a weapon in the wrong hands
And God is the big penis in the sky.
It's not just Christian but other religions as well. Wherever there was a Roman settlement there were phallic symbols everywhere.
In Seattle there was a bakery called the "Erotic Bakery". Lots of penis shaped cakes (I wonder who ordered those?).
[en.wikipedia.org]
JackPedigo
Level 9
Feb 7, 2018
0
@silvereyes See what you're missing in Okie land!
Out fucking standing
lookinhard
Level 7
July 1, 2018
4
My sentiments exactly.
I hear that
...and hopefully, like a penis, it will wither and rise no more once it reaches a certain age.
Meep70
Level 7
Mar 21, 2018
0
I thought that was a nasty myth!
@girlwithsmiles I hope you're right!
Brilliant! And true! And I think it applies to one's own children, not just other children – parents don't own their children, they are guardians and caretakers – not dictators or brutish prison guards.
Too many people think they have the right to impose their beliefs onto their children, rather than assisting them to become whoever it is that they will one day become – or realise who they were all along.
Beelzebant
Level 5
July 17, 2018
4
I want you be as practically correct as you are ideologically. There's a lot of parents that don't see anything wrong with indoctrinating their children.
Just like a drunk abusive parent indoctrinating their children into the habit.
A lot of parents are mistaken, then.
The most important thing is to be emotionally mature, so as to provide a solid foundation for their children – insecure parents pass on their insecurities to their children.
Ideally, only emotionally mature people would ever have children, or raise children.
I'm never having kids, as I don't pass muster. I don't even have a pet cat, though I adore cats.
I believe in my penis
ThomasReitz
Level 4
Apr 22, 2018
1
You don't have other choice.........lol
Lols
Lol - but it is not fine to have a religion, nor to be proud of it - it is shameful and destructive - it is the triumph of wish over realism - it is deliberately chosen insanity - it is cheap - dirty - it is the abandonment of morality - religious people have done the worst things in history - because they could believe god was on their side - that they were justified - religion is evil - when a person deliberately chooses insanity, look out - they will do anything - have no feeling - but feel good doing the worst things - the greatest human sin is finite, not infinite - so to punish humans sins with infinite punishment is infinitely cruel, loveless, evil, unjust - and christians are so hardhearted that they have never noticed or minded this in 2000 yrs - how bad is that? - be an antitheist - besides, it is mad to punish humans for their sins when they didn't make themselves - whatever made them is to blame, not humans - but humans in their innocence have accepted this blame
nigelbest
Level 3
Sep 6, 2018
2
.....and sometimes it VERY HARD!!!
PhillipSEE
Level 6
Apr 23, 2018
2
...and mostly very short...........jijijijij
Jesus never paid any of my bills.
FlyingEagle1952
Level 6
Oct 5, 2018
3
Neither did Juan or Julio.
Ahh the Godhead.Can't wait for the second comming
findmegenie
Level 4
Mar 6, 2018
0
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