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Do you believe in "soul mates/true love/the one?"

If not, is it generally a turn off for someone to believe in it?

(Personally, I find the concepts to be unfounded and exceptionally silly).

Wenepai 6 Nov 26
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38 comments

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0

If you mean someone with whom you have much in common, a physical appearance and style that drives you crazy, a brain that you love the way it works, and a sense of humor that never fails to make you laugh, l most definitely do!

6

I believe in chemistry and commitment and communication.

6

The idea of "soulmates"- that there is one person in the world sent to you- is as stupid as believing a supernatural god takes care of your needs.

Suddenly I'm running through a flowery field in a flowing, white dress with birds and butterflies fluttering about, my arms outstretched and into the arms of....CUT. What's that tingly feeling? Ticks.

Soulmates is a fantasy sold by Disney, stupid romance novels, Rom-Com movies, and advertising.

To love is an action verb.

@onedayatatime

It doesn't tick me off. Soulmates is a fantasy.

To love is an action verb.

6 Reasons Not Believing In Soul Mates Makes Your Relationship Stronger

[bustle.com]

You're gonna need somebody to pick the ticks off of you. Only a soulmate would do that for you. haha

@starwatcher-al

Watch Dr. Brene' Brown's wonderful TED talk on "The Power of Vulnerability."

She interviewed people who had been happily married for 50 years or more.

[ted.com]

5

Sure, absolutely, I’ve had several. ? Nope.

4

I believe this thinking is a big problem with the divorce rate. People seem to think things should be perfect, or magical, or somehow special with this person just b/c - therefore the work to maintain closeness isn't put in. I told my daughter as much after she got married; you love him, but you will have times in your marriage where you're in a rut, and someone else will come along that will seem to fit the bill, and perhaps they can/will. What you need to really look at, is the old unfixable, and will the new never break? Only after honestly answering those questions should you make a decision about the future.

3

Not really. Real world relationships take work, empathy, forgiveness, humility...

3

No, I find this to be archaic and magical thinking based on outdated institutions. The internet has given us all access to millions of options. So even the term one in a million represents several serious options considering the opportunities we are fortunate enough to have today. In fact, we see evidence on this site where people are thinking in terms of the two? the three? or more...

3

I go with the idea of soul mates in so far as people gravitating towards like minded people and feeling a rapport and ease in their company, a little extra something to just mates/friends but on a platonic level.

As for true love and the one? I used to think so but I think it's a myth, it is for me anyway

3

Nope.

Certainly some people fall wildly "in love" with one another, mutually--and maybe even at first sight!--get together, and live happily ever after, their passions never waning. I'm not gonna say that doesn't happen, because it obviously does. But to spin that occurrence into a full-blown fairy-tale and apply it to all people is just immature, wishful thinking.

I'm not necessarily bothered by what other people believe, as long as they have a mature and healthy relationship with their beliefs--which is to say, they don't cling too tightly to them, don't get offended when others don't hold the same beliefs, don't let them become obstructive, etc.

3

Nope. I don't believe in fairies either 😉

3

I think the idea is sweet but the reality is that your ability to connect with someone relies on a number of factors including chance events. Two people who have similar values and a desire to make a relationship work are much better off than two people who connect over a glass slipper.

2

My idea is that people with chemistry, commitment, and communication can fall in love and stay that way for their whole lives. I think that soul mates and twin flames are fantasy illusions.

2

Of course I do, just like finding a needle in a haystack.

@Namunn1 Yes, but when you want to find that needle you never seem to have a magnet.

2

It could be a charming metaphor for “relationship gone right” but not a term to be taken literally by adults.

skado Level 9 Nov 26, 2018
2

Sometimes the idea of it makes sense especially when you find yourself in a relationship with someone that completes you

2

No. I can feel love for more than one person if I let myself. And have "loved" more than one person over time. That in itself suggests to me maybe we aren't supposed to be using those terms.

2

I would like to hear this from the lucky ones that may have experienced it.....

2

Yes, and I miss her dearly. Until meeting June - my late wife, I never conceived of being that close another human being, and she with me. We had an amazingly close relationship from the moment we finally met in 1991, (having missed meeting each other despite being in body contact many times over 9 years) until she died in 2015. I proposed after two weeks and we married inside of months. Old enough to know better, but did it anyway.
I wonder if we'd turned around and met face to face, rather than back to back earlier would we have made it 'forever'. As it was, we had a true 'Mills & Boon' love affair and I'm concerned it will cloud me moving on. So far time has not been much of a healer and I am extremely lonely in my 'soul'.
I do accept that for many reasons, some people will never find that special person or persons to share their lives with. I did, and better to have loved and lost....

Hugs

@Amisja Thanks, right now I have tea and Kracken

1

I believe in true love, but I don't think the universe or fate has anything to do with finding it.

1

I believe in true love and in all the ones mentioned.

1

With about 6 or 7 billion of us on this small blue ball spinning around there has to be at least a dozen or so that would do. So, no.

However, I do think it's possible to find someone to spend your life with if that's your thing, but it's not easy getting along with someone day in and day out. It takes work, commitment, respect, honesty, and a willingness/desire to do so.

1

Just thinking statistically, there's probably no chance that there is "the one" out there somewhere. What if the one you're meant to be with speaks a different language and lives on the other side of the world? We're limited by language, culture, proximity and many other categories. Love is work and means seeing past the negative traits of a person.

1

Hmmmm. They all have slightly different nuances, don't they? I think I can go with true love. Definitely not the one. Maybe soul mate, depending how it's defined.

1
1

Nope. Yep. Good for you.

1

Total turn off. I cannot take such persons seriously.

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