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Unusual expressions.

I once had a very nice boss who was from rural southern Illinois. It took a while to get him riled up, but when he did here is what he would say to the person with whom he was upset: "I'll tell YOU who ate the cabbage!" I never asked him, but I think it means that if several rabbits enter a garden, the dominant rabbit gets to eat the delicacy, in this case, the cabbage. That was his way of telling his subordinate "I'm the boss!" Now, whenever my dog barks at the neighbor's dogs, I always imagine that she's telling them who ate the cabbage.

Do you have any unique, unusual expressions or heard any that are memorable to you?

MikeEC 7 Feb 17
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11

In one of my long-ago factory jobs, there was a guy who was always angry, upset, and never happy about anything. One of my coworkers looked at him and said: "you could fall into a vat full of tits and come out sucking your thumb."

Love it!

10

I own a book that is about rural expressions. I love the title of it but have never heard someone actually say it: "Well butter my butt, and call me a biscuit!"

I hear that one quite a bit in Georgia!

@Zster great! Could you just say it for me now?

Hear that a lot in Florida too!

@MyLiege @zster what does it mean when a person says it?

Like, color me surprised

@MyLiege thank you. Now I will know exactly when to get out my trusty butter knife.

8

A coworker in Arizona would say "I haven't had so much fun since the hogs ate my little brother".

That's an original!

7

I'm profane and call people turd burglers when I'm mad at them. This is apparently hilarious to my co-workers.

Obviously, they are laughing to cover up their guilt, because they really are turd burglars.

When I was a small child, what most parents were then teaching their children to euphemistically use the words pee and poop to refer to bodily functions. I did not find out until I was in grammar school that the euphemisms we were taught were "different." The words we used were "wetty" and "biggie." In my family, still today when someone passes gas, it is referred to as a "biggie racket."

My ex used to say that...

I have a friend that calls people twatwaffles when she's mad.

@kiramea thats hilarious...i have a friend who says that too...i almost die laughing every time lol

@kiramea @rushinroundWI have you heard the term twitterpated? A friend of mine would say that about anyone who is in the initial stages of a relationship.

6

I was involved in the construction of a Cracker Barrel up here in OR, the general contractor was a good old boy from Georgia. His expression to use when you were pissing him off was, "Boy, you don't watch out, you gonna be buck naked and stankin'", in other words: dead.

That would get my attention!

What's a cracker barrel?

@FrayedBear Cracker Barrel is a restaurant. Known for comfort foods.

@MyssMelissa thank you we don't have them in Australia... Thank the distance!

@NFAguy53 Lol. Olive garden? Orchards yes. Eating joints of the name - not as far as I'm aware but I'm at the arse end of a state in a country on the arse end of the world.

6

My great grandmother used to say "Hash hopper!" after anyone sneezed. Even the net has not helped me figure that one out...

I had a friend whose relative cursed by saying "oh meebersneep!". He used it as the name of a band in college. (;

Zster Level 8 Feb 17, 2018

Those are both great. I really like the first one, because I have seen some discussion on this site about the use of "God Bless You!" by atheists when someone sneezes. "Hash hopper" works for me!

I would love to think of it catching on! She was a great lady. (:

@Zster Gesundheit which always reminds me of gesunder or gesunder an expression for the chamber pot under the bed.

THAT is fantastic to know!

6

When I was a kid, my best friend's great-grandmother lived up the street from me. She had a few interesting expressions, but one really weirded some people out. When she saw newborn babies she would say, "It's so ugly. Don't ya just wanna kill it?" She always insisted on holding the baby and was as gentle and sweet as could be, but always said that.

JimG Level 8 Feb 17, 2018

I can kinda understand why that would weird somebody out. Maybe she just assumed you all knew she meant "kill it with kindness."

Omg, I heard something like this before! It’s pagan, trying to ward off evil spirits so they would not take a baby away! I think that was the explanation, been a long time, I can’t believe I heard it again.

Haha! I’ve heard similar- isn’t (baby) so cute you just want to eat (baby)? Look at their tiny feet, I could just eat them. I mean, it’s like listening to Fat Bastard, “Get In My Belly!”

From what I've been told by a lot of oldsters (my father's age), it was bad luck to call a newborn beautiful/cute.

6

My old Gunnery Sargent in the Marines used to say "You are as out place as a one legged man in an ass kicking contest."

A close relative to that one is "busier than a one-armed wallpaper hanger."

5

As useless as taste buds on an asshole

Haha, funny story though:
[io9.gizmodo.com]

@resserts Ah! I learned something today.com/ 🙂 Thank you.

@resserts Ah! I learned something today.com/ 🙂 Thank you.

5

“That man is one sandwich short of a picnic” or “his cheese slid off his cracker”

A shilling short of a quid(£😉 ).

5

When I went to boot camp in the AF, one of the sergeants upon reviewing the new crop of enlistees, asked where each of us was from. When I said, "California, sir!" he said, "Well, there's two things in California, queers and cars, and I don't see no tailpipe sticking outta your ass." He was right, of course; there was no tailpipe sticking out of my ass. On the other account, not so much.

For some reason, that one reminds me of the comment the Sgt. made in the movie Full Metal Jacket: "he didn't even give him the courtesy of a reach around."

4

Don't remember where I first heard it, but a "turd in the punchbowl" can be either something that ruins a good time, or is something that is unavoidably obvious.

Something like a baby Ruth candy bar in a swimming pool?

4

"Here is to nipples, cause without them tities would be pointless." Another Marine toast.

4

My father was 1st generation American of Scots descent from the Shenandoah Valley, born 1920. My 3 favorites were:
"I wouldn't slap a dog in the ass with a plate full of (insert inedible food stuff here)"
"Your mother would f*ck up the recipe for ice"
"(That person)'s so mean, they would put a sore assed duck into salt water."

I've never heard any of those. The 2nd one has a lot of close relatives. Pondering that last one – yes, that certainly describes a mean person.

@PappyOnWings saltwater probably cure the sore ass- so illogical saying?

@FrayedBear but that raw/sore skin hitting that salt water stings like fire & aches awful at first. Its only after the initial pain & shock that the benefit is realized.

@FrayedBear but that raw/sore skin hitting that salt water stings like fire & aches awful at first. Its only after the initial pain & shock that the benefit is realized.

@SallyInStitches @SallyinStitches you have a bouncing finger or have duplicated your post. 🙂

@FrayedBear stuttering wifi at home. Changi thing that today with any luck.

4

lol I googled it. This was the only thing close. I Think it's hilarious so I am sharing it. " In Reply to: Origin of "How the Cow ate the cabbage"

: Anyone know the origin of this phrase ?

THAT'S HOW THE COW ATE THE CABBAGE - "An expression to indicate the speaker is laying it on the line, telling it like it is, getting down to brass tacks - with the connotation of telling someone what he or she needs to know but probably doesn't want to hear. According to Little Rock attorney Alston Jennings, who submitted this southernism to Richard Allen's February 2, 1991, 'Our Town' column in the Arkansas Gazette, the expression has its roots in a story about an elephant that escaped from the zoo and wandered into a woman's cabbage patch. The woman observed the elephant pulling up her cabbages with its trunk and eating them. She called the police to report that there was a cow in her cabbage patch pulling up cabbages with its tail. When the surprised police officer inquired as to what the cow was doing with the cabbages, the woman replied, 'You wouldn't believe me if I told you!'" From "Encyclopedia of Word and Phrase Origins" by Robert Hendrickson (Fact on File, New York, 1997)"

4

Before my sweet grandma died, I called her regularly, even after I moved out of state. When I used to end our phone call with "see you soon", she would say, every time, "if God is willing and the creek don't rise". Even now that makes me chuckle.

My mother in law says the same thing!

3

We seem to have a lot of slang terms here in the UK, a lot are really localised but a few that spring to mind are:
Well f*** my old boots = Surprise
What's that got to do with the price of tomatoes = Not understanding
Shanksies Pony = Walking or on foot

There's also tons of rhyming slang but that's another post 🙂

Hope to see that post soon. Your 2nd one reminds me of the saying that used to be quite common here. Something about "… The price of tea in China."

3

My father had one that I have never others use, he would use it when someone usually one of his son's or grandsons would be continuously getting up and then sitting down again at the table or while sitting on the couch. It was; "Jesus boy your up and down like a minister's prick."

But that's one I've never heard. I like it!

A similar one to that is 'Up and down like a whore's drawers'

3

"I'll be go to hell!"

That sounds like something a kid says when they are trying to learn how to swear, and they don’t know where the swear words go.

Or Spock's attempt to use "colorful metaphors" in Star Trek IV.

2

In my family someone might say, if they got side-tracked and forgot what they were originally doing, "I tripped over a cobb." The saying comes from my great grandmother, who one day when she was a little girl watched as a rooster was chasing a hen who was playing hard to get. The rooster tripped over a corn cobb and took a tumble in the dirt, dusted himself off, and walked if in the other direction, having completely forgotten about the hen!

A family original! I like that.

2

My dad used to say “piss or get off the pot.” I live in Minnesota. It’s cold. I mumble it to my dog several times a day when I take him potty outside and he’s sniffing around forever for a spot.

2

here they say useless as tits on a boar!
Also you're as much use as a chocolate teapot!

The 1st one is pretty common in the Midwest and the analogy is right on. I have never heard the one about the chocolate teapot though

2

I found a most interesting explanation for that saying at this external link [belleofallthingssouthern.com]. It made me, quite literally, laugh out loud.

Thank you! You have solved a long-standing mystery for me. I will sleep well tonight.

2

"I'll show you exactly how the rat chews the cheese"......

jasen Level 8 Feb 17, 2018

And that rat is very closely related to the rabbit who ate the cabbage.

And now we know that there is a cow on the family tree (see above).

Then there was the man who put a hacksaw blade on a piece of wood and tried to patent it as a mouse trap - how does that work said the patent officer? Easy, the mouse comes along, puts its head over the saw blade, starts vigorously looking from side to side saying "where's that damn cheese" and cuts its own head off.
Always liked that very stupid joke!

2

An eastern KY hillbilly neighbor used to say he was born "so far up the holler they had to pipe in sunshine."

That is descriptive, and I'm sure if you think about it that neighbor had a few more like that.

@PappyOnWings Yeah, he only attended public school until he was 12, then had to repair car engines to support the family, so his hillbilly speech was little altered by standardized English. I wrote down pages of his ancient hill sayings, but my journals are in the US somewhere.

@birdingnut I hope you find it. I would love to hear some more of those colorful expressions!

@PappyOnWings Another one he said was "Not enough room in here to sling a cat."

He also never called the police if there was trouble. He once caught his middle school daughter in bed with the married neighbor, so he just got his shotgun, went over, and pointed it at the man's head, quietly stating that he'd better not even "catch wind" of anything going on between them again.
Hey, presto, no more trouble.

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