I keep finding my conversations with my father are far more strained these days because of Trump. I love my father, but I think his age is affecting his mind. He's 85.
Should I just ignore it? Admittedly, I'm the one that goes off like a bottle rocket when Trump's name comes up, but I can't help myself. My dad starts rationalizing and I can tell right away he's regurgitating the canned talking points from Fox News or some other right wing pundits.
Suggestions? Advice?
What Would you like to do? Changing his mind? At 85? First, if he trust your opinion very much, maybe he will listen to your opinion. Just maybe, if not, there is nothing to do. Can anybody do anything about your opinions?
That's a good question. Thinking about it, I guess what gets to me is his somewhat dismissive phrase for politicians' or ideas he doesn't agree with. He just blurts out, "he/she's a communist!"
I just don't remember it being that bad in the past when I was younger, but he did say that phrase too when I was younger. To be honest, I think a lot of Cuban Americans from my dad's generation say that.
@LucifersPen if you understand how this things work, you will know that humans are not rational living beings and are influence a lot by many factors that he can not control. And at this age with a long history of stubbornness, the things will get just worse.
A conservative friend and I had a code phrase when things got heated. We would say, I like soup." And the other would reply, "I like soup, too." We knew not to even try talking politics.
That’s AWESOME to remind eachother in an inside joke kind of way that you have things in common!
Well it can easily be a child! I have similar reaction as your self, at the very mention of trump's name! But my 55 year old daughter just may have gone off the deep end. It has gotten worse and worse. She has a very responsible position as office manager for a manufacturing company. She has always leaned toward the evangelicals, but she is getting way out there now! I have spent many an hour in the past, trying to reason with her and I doubt that I have made a dent. My son just reported that she is putting bazar things on Facebook (I don't do Facebook) and recently while assisting their Dad (we are divorced), during an operation, she just went off!! It is a helpless feeling seeing any family member steeped in...what I consider unreality! My daughter seems to have doubled down in defense of trump! It is a helpless feeling, seeing my daughter like this. I really don't have an answer and I surely love my daughter! I am even beginning to wonder if it is best that I stay away from her? If I can't be of help, then I surely don't wish to create more harm!
Sorry about that, it must be difficult.
Just don't bring up politics when you are with them. There must be a thousand family things you guys can talk about.
Time to talk about something else... do not try to change his point of view. Let him be... He is 85 he earned the Right to be as he wants to. Don't be a crusader.
My mother wasn't 85, but she was a huge O'Reilly fan about a decade ago. I told her he was a disgusting idiot, and that I lost respect for her every time she reminded me she followed him. Guess who has Ruth Bader Ginsburg bumper stickers now.
Don’t talk about politics. If he brings it up, just act like you agree. Or if that doesn’t work throw in a ‘whatever’ now and then. There really isn’t much of a come back to that and it is an obvious statement that you are right and he is wrong. He won’t know what you think he is wrong about. But a little confusion at 85 never hurt anyone.
I try not to talk about it, it’s pointless and only makes people miserable
You "go off like a bottle rocket" and you think your dad is the one who's irrational? I'm not being critical, just pointing out that you can't have a rational conversation with a person who's irrational. And if you're that emotionally invested, I doubt your dad is the problem.
It's your father and he's 85. Change the topic. If his age is affecting his mind, it is much easier to change the topic because he will quickly forget what the two of you were talking about a minute ago.
Oh man I really get this. I am very liberal and my father has gotten increasingly conservative as the years have gone by. He was also a lawyer so he can talk/bully any position. I have reached a point of managing both the amount of time and situations I spend with him. I usually try to avoid political topics with him. He is not religious nor particularly a supporter of Trump, and some issues he’s relatively liberal(gay rights), but he uses the word “liberal” like a dirty word and often misconstrues liberal positions. When things do come up, I will often try to gently suggest a different perspective than the one he gets from Fox News. But I’m not willing to get into major conflict with him about things on which he will definitely not change his opinions.
When my mother brings up politics i try to listen to her without responding much. She doesn't really follow politics, but she's one of those many people that supports Trump because she thought he was that populist in shining white armor come to save the people. She only watches local news and doesn't have much to form an opinion on. She's lucky she even knows how to turn a computer on. I try to take an understanding mediator like role with her when she starts talking politics.
OMG! I do feel your pain! Except for the fact that it is usually my 82 year old father who loses it. I called him on his birthday, chatting nicely, I mention that we bought two kayaks. He says "you can thank Trump for that." the chat turned rapidly after that, I warned him " if you keep this up, I'm going to hang up on you." He replied " I've got two more things to say..." Click! He came to visit last week and never said a word about Trump!
I just avoid the subject. I don’t want to strain my relationship with my oldest son who I believe voted for Drump. I just let go because there are more important things in life than pissing each off over politics.
I don't talk about because if I do well never speak again. He knows I think Trump is a vile disgusting human being. He thinks everything is getting better and the poor Trump family is being hounded by the media and democrats. He gets all of his information from Fox News and OANN. I can debate with stupidity and willful ignorance.
I no longer respect or admire my father and honestly love him less because he really isn't worthy of my love.