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If you had the chance to start over with someone, would you go back and meet them again or choose not to meet them at all?

(That one ex you were in love with that broke your heart, or a best friend you had, that you had a fight with and never spoke to again, but miss them)

Sacha 7 Feb 27
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37 comments

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2

If you remember the movie Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, they were poised to meet again. Our history is what helps us make better choices in the future. Yeah, there are some relationships I kinda wish I never had, but they taught me a good lesson. I don't do long distance because the long distance relationship I had ended so horribly. I engaged in some high risk behavior for a while and definitely learned some lessons from that. Can't change your history, just learn from it and move on.

15

Sometimes I wish I could start over and do things differently, but ultimately, the experiences I have had have shaped me into the person I am today. Who would I be without them?

Very true, With every mistake you make you learn a lesson, shaping you into the person you are now 🙂

@Sacha I concur, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger!

@HeyHiHullo Maybe not so much stronger, but different.

@bingst not physically stronger, mentally stronger, and sadder for the view of reality of humanity.

6

Depends, would I go back with the knowledge and experience I currently posses? Would I be aware of where I may have messed up the first time? If so I probably would.

Yes I should change the question to that

6

Ugh... No. Fuck that. That never works out. Nope nope nope nopey-nope

5

I think you can't go back....

5

I have a few relationships that ended because of situations outside of our control...so meeting them now would be good, but it would end the same way if we did a rewind...for all the craziness in my life, I wouldn't change a thing...for good or ill...

5

As good as a second chance sounds, I'd probably make the same mistakes again or even worse.

5

We had started dating & things were great but circumstances divide us & it was years before we reconnected. He is in a relationship & we are good friends but that is one where i'd really like a do over.

4

I would love to meet my husband again, marry, start the family, even if a repeat meant we'd lose him to cancer again. However, I would NOT be so selfish as to ask him to live through cancer again, much as I miss him now.

Zster Level 8 Feb 27, 2018

Good answer, I feel you 🙂

4

If I could go back and meet my first ex, I would've declined.

I would like to go over there and kick him in the balls for you 😉

@Sacha Lol. Never go for the first man to ever think you're hot when you've never dated before.

4

Yes, I would. After I was divorced I met this man that made me laugh, was very caring and thoughtful. I just loved doing anything with him. When he was much younger he fooled around with drugs (not just pot). He was up front with me about it, but he also told me he had been over it for years. Two and half years into our relationship he came clean with me and told me he was doing cocaine again. He told me even though he loved me he love cocaine more. Broke my heart and even though it has been many years I still haven't gotten over him.

4

Brand new start with another.

4

I will pass because it will negate all the good things that happened with others... you know the what if. I take my loss. No biggie. No heart broken... no fall out. It is life at it's best... Ups and Downs. It is All Good and Gravy. I don't want the chance to change anything.

4

I would go back to my first boyfriend. He and I had a closeted relationship due to the area we lived in, but I could have done so much more to foster this relationship but I did not. I always hated myself for not allowing me to be affectionate or allowing him to be affectionate with me. I would redo that and although it may still end I would not be feeling the pain of those memories now in my advancing age.

4

Yes there is one person I would go for a second chance. But I also agree that you can’t really go back

Myah Level 6 Feb 27, 2018
4

The one person I would like to start over with wasn't anyone I had a relationship.

I was driving a delivery van, and stopped at a convenience store en route for lunch every day. I was insecure and self conscious.

Diane worked in the convenience store. She was beautiful, friendly, and intelligent. I assumed she was really nice to me because she was nice by nature which she obviously was, and because I was a paying customer, she was required to be.

It wasn't until my last week on the job, when I told her I was quitting, and she suggested that we should meet somewhere when we weren't working. She said that she liked me and hoped I would ask her out.

I was heartbroken. I had no idea that a young woman like Diane would be interested in me. I had to tell her that I had to quit my job because I was leaving for basic training.

She's the only woman, I would wish to start over with.

JimG Level 8 Feb 27, 2018
4

This time they'd have a warning sign!

4

I’m good. I have my kids. I just wish things turned out differently, but it is what it is.

3

I would choose not to meet my ex-wife at all.

hahaha

@Heming I'm totally serious. I didn't intend it to be funny at all.

3

There is what you say you would do and what you actually end up doing. Two very different things.

3

No. I want to move on with the wisdom I've gained.

Gohan Level 7 Feb 27, 2018
3

I would choose not to meet that person at all. He was a huge waste of time, but had a large and negative impact on my life.

3

I would go back and meet them again. Would we have any knowledge we had met before? Like a do-over? I would love to say I'm sorry

EvaV Level 7 Feb 27, 2018

Awwww makes me want to give you a hug

3

Neither. I learned what I needed to learn the first time around.
Not meeting them would have deprived me of some wonderful people I met during that
process.
I'm good, as is.

2

I would go back and meet my ex wife, I know that both of us screwed it up, I would do my best to stand back and give each other room

2

It depends on the situation. If you truly love the friend, ex lover, wife, exgf, etc... Their feelings and considerations should be respected. Your own wants a desires are yours, not theirs. Realizing that you're not responsible for their happiness is key. Living in the past, takes you out of the present. Of course, we would want to be in their lives again. To relive those precious moments we hold dear. To see if there is anyway to rekindle that flame that once lit up our lives. But, it would have to be mutual. And there is only one way to find out. Remember, want'n ain't get'n. Ask the question and make the effort, if you truly want to know. But, be willing to live with the answer, either way.

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